Photos that some women use on their profile

ercjncprercjncpr
in General

I have noticed that some female Cuddlers in their profile photos wear very seductive clothing and pose in that manner. Are they trying to suggest a disregarding of boundaries and the agreements that they and their clients must agree to? My advice to them is, if you are looking only for cuddling, don't dress in such a provocative manner

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Comments

  • CatloafCatloaf
    edited November 2018

    If these photos are of women who are in fact unreasonably scantily clad, then you might consider reporting it so a mod can make the call.

    That said, there is no explicit rule on the site about being attractive, or showing off your assets. The main guideline is to avoid shirtless Ness or near undress. For instance: If a woman who just happens to be a bit busty is wearing a tube top in her photo, that is different than wearing a top which is styled more like a bra and could effectively pass as lingerie.

    Different people will call different things over the top. What you consider lewd or too much might actually just be somebody in shorts and a tank.

    Without seeing the exact profiles you're commenting on, people will get different ideas about what could be going on. "Posing sexy" may not be the intent. Maybe this person is confident in their body, maybe they model, or maybe they are shaped nicely and your mind is setting off its own red flags in effect.

    If these women are indeed pros and they are exposing tons of skin, it certainly doesn't look good and I agree with you in that case. We work hard to try and separate ourselves from that imagery because it just confuses clients about what is offered. I have yet to come across an approved pro who is dressed in a manner that would be truly alarming, though. If these women are saying or insinuating that they take clients WITHOUT the pink professional tag on their profile, report them.

  • ercjncprercjncpr

    Thank you

  • CatloafCatloaf

    No worry @ercjncpr, and Safe Snuggles on your journey! :)

  • PaulaDahlaPaulaDahla

    Unfortunately it is indeed intended to be that way. I as a woman am not sexually attracted to other women, I do however have my filter set for both men and women because I'll cuddle both. I have the opportunity to see many women angling camera in such a way that the intent is obvious. The choice of clothing style is also quite bothersome. But I feel the same way about some of the male pictures also so I could be that I'm more sensitive to a sexual vibe escortesque rather than platonic cuddling.

    I see your @catloaf but the majority of the profiles and accompanying pictures there are meant to allure and intice rather than say I'm warm and nurturing.

  • CatloafCatloaf

    I see your @catloaf but the majority of the profiles and accompanying pictures there are meant to allure and intice rather than say I'm warm and nurturing.

    I do agree on your point as well, and in fact I'd say it's a combination of both camera angles and focus of the picture that often gives do-no-gooders away. Specifically when there is more focus on cleavage or booty than a person's face in the photo. Some do just have a particular, more "vain" looking style that they dress in but can simultaneously be very down to earth. For me the real distinction is all about how much skin is being shown and if your attire is along the lines of sensual. Reading the facial expression is pretty telling oftentimes too. I've never had sincere communication with the Pauly D looking guys who show off six pack abs in front of a fingerprinted mirror doing duckface. If anyone has, let me know, you've probably broken a Cuddle Comfort record, lol.

  • UKGuyUKGuy
    edited November 2018

    My advice to men would be not to draw any conclusions from the way a women dresses. You may think a woman is dressed seductively but seduction could be the last thing on her mind. I say this having two very attractive daughters in their twenties.

  • ShyGuy101ShyGuy101

    @UKGuy I'm curious, could you please elaborate on why someone would choose to dress seductively if seduction isn't on their mind? Nobody carries a gun if they don't anticipate using it at some point? Perhaps you mean something along the lines of female athletes wearing less clothing, with the sole intention of optimizing their range of motion, not intending to seduce anyone?

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @ShyGuy101 I think UK means to stop making assumptions about what the clothing a woman wears means sexually/romantically. Are women to think if you wear jeans and a t-shirt that you are probably a lumberjack? There is a huge double standard. If a man wears shorts it must be summer. If a woman wears shorts, everyone is judging if the shorts are too short, too tight or too revealing. It doubles down depending on the woman’s body type—oh she is too fat to wear those, or she has toothpick legs, why is she showing them? Then after that there is oh she is showing skin, she must be down for sex. Women can’t win. Help the women out by talking or chatting to them about what they want or their intentions instead of creating assumptions based off cotton and polyester that adorn the woman who caught your interest.

  • [Deleted User]chococuddles (deleted user)

    A cute girl showing her body? (Darth Vader voice) nnnNNNNOOOOOOOOOoooooo.

    Seriously tho I was once on a Christian dating site and some very well-endowed girl had peculiar angles of her kneeling by her bed. It looked like something out of Playboy and when I asked her if her photos were supposed to be suggestive she was furious telling me she was showing how she was at peace with God.

    To echo what @UKGuy said, "seduction could be the last thing on her mind."

  • UKGuyUKGuy
    edited November 2018

    @ShyGuy101 - my daughters dress to please themselves, they don't dress to please men. If you find it seductive, that's all in your own mind, it's not in theirs. You are projecting your thoughts onto other people. Other people have their own thoughts, which may not coincide with yours. God help you if you came to Arizona, where due to the heat, young attractive women are in a state of undress pretty much year round.

  • CuddleStellaCuddleStella
    edited November 2018

    I’m with @UKGuy... it’s best not to assume because at the end of the day, if any other non-platonic requests are made or rules are broken, the participating members are no longer allowed to be on the site.

    I can see folks concerns with this but it shouldn’t be any indication to assume that women are here for anything other than cuddling. As a member of this site, I’ll assume that all folks are here to cuddle until one proves differently by wanting to break rules, which then will mean I will not bother cuddling with them.

    If women’s photos are a way to help folks decide who to cuddle with and who to avoid, so be it, but making this a thread just seems redundant and judgmental.

  • laylanielaylanie

    Agreed. Most women dress for themselves, not to impress someone. Making that kind of assumption speaks more volume about the viewer than the poster. This works both ways too for guys since one could assume they are doing shirtless pictures for attention but that doesn't mean they are on the site for non-platonic reasons.

  • PaulaDahlaPaulaDahla

    Alright I've already made my thoughts known as a woman on a womens intentions, I stand behind it because I am one and I know how the female mind works.

    You all realize this is a thread about the intent of photo's posted on profiles right? Not how a person dresses and how a random person passing them or watching them perceives the outfit? A woman can't help how a man or a woman perceives her in person, that's not what this thread is addressing.

    If the pic says sex at first glance it's intentional.
    This thread ISN'T about how a woman dresses, it's about the picture being posted and the INTENT behind it. Are they focused on a non sexual pose or is the arm raised in such a way that the viewers eye immediately goes to one part of the body that isn't the face off to the side of the shot? Or is it centered on the face, or body shot that takes all parts equally, or centers on the eyes instead of the boob crack? Yes, boob crack.

    @chococuddles, yeah, she was showing her goods! No woman knowingly puts out a photo that has the potential to be misinterpreted, especially on a religion lit site like the one your were on. The chick posed kneeling by a bed, could've taken it from the side. She wanted her girls front and center in a passive aggressive way and you called her on it!! Especially if her answer came off as furious defense, code word for guilt! We as women are all AWARE of what the picture says about the subject.

    Score one for the male team!! Honestly I wish more men would call women on photo's that are sexual, let us know that's the way it's looked at and do we want that kind of attention from every man on the internet? The World Wide Web? I wonder if that picture was removed from public view on her profile after you mentioned it to her?

    I have a photo showing the full curve of my breasts, and aroused nipples; I'm fully clothed in the photo but the angle is from above and meant to focus on my breasts. It's an affirmation photo for myself, I have only sent it privately once as I'm well aware that it isn't an innocent photo; it is fully seductive. I have the same shot which is a friendly "that outfit's cute" focus because I shot it from a different angle. By today's standards it's not risque at all but it is 100% seductive. I don't send mine to people or put it out publicly because I intended it for one reason only, to be body affirming. Sex, front and center. Just sent it to someone interested in me beyond platonic, he confirmed it's a boner inducing photo. So now two people in this world have seen that photo. Same photo, two different angles, two totally different perspectives. I choose which one to put out. How I want people I don't know to see me.

    If it suggests sex from the angle of the shot it was meant to be that. Just yesterday I made a comment to a man about his profile picture having his bulge as the primary focus. He's fully clothed but that picture wants to call a woman's attention to one part of his anatomy. He laughed it off, and told me it wasn't meant that way, he can't help how cuddle comfort chooses to crop profile pictures. Yes he can! The outfit he is wearing in the picture is a nice t shirt untucked and a pair of chino's, no one would accuse him of dressing sexually. He wants it to be sexual and our conversations later in the evening proved it. That man's here for a sex partner and nothing else. If it comes off as seductive it's meant that way, maybe not originally when taken; but if it sees the light of day the woman in it agreed to the seductiveness of it and is allowing that message to get out there.

    The OP's gripe was specifically about the pictures being posted to a website and why are so many of them geared toward sex not cuddles? It's all about the presentation and why obviously inappropriate photos are posted on a comfort site when they are clearly meant for a dating one.

    @stellarosass, I know you have photos that are meant to be sexual but you haven't used any of them on here. Every picture I've seen of yours has had the friendly view not the sexual one. @laylanie, the spelling of your name along with the lack of height in your profile picture is a flashing arrow pointing directly to your breasts, suggesting sexual rather than comfort and friendship. If that photo was meant to be non sexual you would've used a selfie stick to bring up the angle to highlight your cheekbones or your massively adorable button nose. If I saw you wearing that outfit in real life I wouldn't think it was sexual at all. In person I would assume you were dressing for comfort and body definition, you're confident wearing it and subtly showing off your curves. The top you have on is perfectly appropriate, but the angle is all 'roll me around on a bed'. I am 5'3" with short arms, I never take a photo from that angle without a selfie stick unless I WANT it to be about my assests and not my face, hair, whatever.

  • PaulaDahlaPaulaDahla

    @FunCartel, you're answer is a good reminder and I adore your defense of women. Excellent, excellent point on women in general.

    My cultivated view on women's clothing choices outside of a photograph is who am I to judge her? If she's comfortable in those shorts that should never leave the beach much less be on a body like that; then who am I to say anything negative? She's wearing them because they make her feel good.

    Let her feel good, there's no power in this world like a woman having confidence in her appearance. I'm actively, aggressively schooling my thoughts to stop judging because I wouldn't stand up to anyone's scrutiny. We as women; and probably men to a degree, are our own harshest critics but we have zero qualms about judging another woman by our own warped standards.

    So thanks, FunCartel; thanks for reminding me that I'm no judge of anyone. In fact I'm going to use your defense as a reminder to myself next time I find I'm starting to judge that I need to find a positive in her appearance and compliment her instead!

  • ChocolatetreatChocolatetreat

    Just ask them

  • MelancholyMelancholy

    Seems rude to assume bad intentions just because you think a picture is seductive.

  • [Deleted User]chococuddles (deleted user)

    @Chocolatetreat I did ask and got my head chewed off. Ridiculously.

    Regardless, I'm not going to feel like a creep because a mega-breasted woman is wearing a skintight outfight and kneeling with a bird's eye photo emphasizing her cleavage. Not shockingly some of the women on that Christian site were more sex-crazed than any other dating site I've been on.

    I appreciate your honesty @PaulaDahla. Anyone can defend anyone. Dandy. But some people are also naive.

  • BabichevBabichev

    I've noticed the same thing as the OP and it's left me wondering about their intentions. It's not just about what they are wearing, it's about their pose, the pouty or come-hither look on their face, the way their hair is draped across their face, the whole thing. I guess the only way to know for sure would be to ask them but it's the kind of question that might not get an honest answer.

  • [Deleted User]Jeminoms (deleted user)

    I’m always being assumed sexual on other sites, on one there’s a 2 second loop video of me spitting water (obviously a silly/gross vid) that’s been seen as “sexy” by a number of random creeps.

    People read sex where they want to, but that is an interpretation not reality.

    I assume people will post photos they think represent them, adding in intent without it being an actual violation of the sites terms, is presumptuous.

  • Missy87Missy87

    I try not to post anything with cleavage or from angles that are obviously highlighting the breast or butt area and no skin tight or bikini pictures of myself because I don't want to send the wrong message to anyone. I have seen some pro's post such pictures on their profile and to each their own, I guess. Then again, there are people who could see a picture of a woman with a conservative dress reminiscent of the pioneer days, with their body covered from neck to ankles and still find something sexual about it.

  • UKGuyUKGuy
    edited November 2018

    There was recently a new female cuddler that had three photos in her profile. All featured her ample breasts spilling out of low cut bras. I reported her and she disappeared. If only one of the photos had been like that, I would have given her the benefit of the doubt, but all three? People who get reported like this can always change their photos, so I don't see this as a particularly egrerious punishment. It's important for people to self-police this site otherwise it will become a free-for-all.

  • CreativeCuddlesCreativeCuddles

    @Missy87 if I posted pics of myself in a bikini I’d never get any cuddles!! ?

  • CatloafCatloaf

    Rule 34...if it exists it can sadly be sexualised. It seems it doesn't matter what kind of photos I use, I always get some creep who thinks it's alright to make a pass at them. My husband does my photos. I let him so that he knows what kind of image I am putting out there, and so that he is in the loop. I don't want to pull an Alaska Osborne and make him uncomfortable by showing myself off or whatnot. And selfies can be rather vain. We thought what better way to communicate that this is a friendly business than having a little minishoot with my big Tiger plushie, and my favourite bulldog onesie.

    When I had my burner number up on my website, I got a text one day from a guy who said he'd "love to pull down that zipper". Gross. Later someone called from a private number (probably him) and it was obvious they were uh.... yeah, over the telephone. Pardon my language: Super fucking scary and rapey. Needless to say, the only way people can contact me now is email or kik, and I don't advertise my site on the other cuddle networks which are generally poorly run.

    A onesie is typically reminiscent of something you dress a baby or child in. It's meant to be comfy and cuddly and innocent. So it really makes me wonder what kind of neurons are operating in this sick person's head to make that connection.

  • pmvinespmvines

    @Catloaf furries are a fetish for some . Not my thing but different strokes...

  • trackcoachredtrackcoachred

    I do apologize for showing way too much skin on my upper forehead in my profile picture. I never considered that it might be “seductive “! I promise it hasn’t always been that way. ?

    Not minimizing anyone’s concerns, simply an attempt at interjecting humor.

  • CatloafCatloaf

    LOL @pmvines I think furryism (probably not a real term in their world but I'm going with it) is definitely more tame than a lot of obscure stuff you can find! I certainly understand the appeal of that a lot more than I understand people who fetishise things that are overwhelmingly childlike or associated with childhood. Just like children, animals can't consent but even the general populace often symbolically sexualises animal appearances because animals can exhibit qualities or behaviours that mirror masculine or feminine, et al, so it kinda makes sense.

    I just gotta wonder what is the underlying thing that motivates a dude to chafe the carrot over somebody wearing a onesie with a plushie next to her and call her as that's happening. So, so disturbing. ?

  • DeathbyChocolatDeathbyChocolat

    You guys are so stupid yeah woman can wear whatever she wants you don't know her intent maybe she just thinks she looks good you guys be on here showing just your torso no face or blank account and you wonder why you don't get people to cuddle you that's your problem

  • [Deleted User]Spoonie (deleted user)

    Chafe the carrot? ??

  • sausalitosausalito

    Don't worry about it. Those are so experienced mongers can decide who to visit and who to not.

  • CreativeCuddlesCreativeCuddles
    edited November 2018

    @DeathbyChocolat The wording in your post is probably not the best way to get your point across to a thread full of both enthusiast and Pro’s discussing clothing choices. It wasn’t to discuss lack of interest in anyone here’s cuddling, that was an assumption. It was to discuss clothing choices and what cuddlers intent is when they post profile pictures with less than optimal cuddling. There are lots of photos I have that I feel emphasize my best features but it doesn’t mean I should post them as my profile photo especially if I am looking for cuddles only. There is a time and place for those pictures. I think you have missed the point but I don’t think anyone here appreciates the rudeness brought to the thread.

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