@kingraquet gave birth to IamTylerDurden. The forums never fail for lack of drama.
Geeze it takes me a moment @TheFunCartel I was just going to post that I find it interesting that I wasn't temp banned until I called blueiris a fascist 🤣🤣🤣
I'm fast but also lazy lol
It's a combination of two factors. First, the site seems designed to push away and demoralize men who actually seek cuddles. Most of the women on here are pros. The very very very few women who don't demand money for cuddling, basically ignore most men (without even the courtesy of a polite "no" reply, hell without even looking at the profile). If you don't believe the lived experience of myself or many other men, I challenge you to create a male profile and try to find a non-pro woman to cuddle with, or hell, to bother answering a single message.
So, what happens is that many, if not most, of the men on the site who are left, have to have some stronger motivation than "hope for cuddles and persevere for months not finding anyone interested". And guess what, sex is the strongest motivations humans have. So, the ones who seek sex are the ones most motivated to hang around, and the ones who don't are the ones most likely to despair and leave.
Now, the above was written with the assumption that you're just a private cuddler. But I just decided to check your profile and you're a pro (even worse, not even marked as a registered pro). So on to the second factor. For some of us cuddling is important, but let's be honest, for an average man cuddling is NOT seen as worth the high amount of money pros charge. So, if they go to a pro, they are going to think "I'm being ripped off, and I'd like a service that's worth what I pay". Hence, expectation of sex. That one should be easy to test. Lower your pro rates temporarily (or just stop charging) and I bet you would see an uptick in the fraction of men who don't ask for sex. Unfortunately, there's no solution for the first factor, since it's a collective-action problem and is an unintended consequence of the way the way the site operates.
@dolphin3 So I’m an enthusiast. I answer messages. I don’t charge money. And I still get solicited. Very rarely I get a man who will message with a decent message, maintain contact, and not make it weird at some point. They usually weed them selves out after some back and forth.
And by the way, bashing pros and the mount they charge is against the rules.
And who are you talking about who is an unregistered pro? If they are, report them.
Ah, yet another post blaming women for the yuck behavior and energy of men. Men not getting responses from women plus the existence of cuddle pros does not excuse nor correlate to men wanting to push for sex. It's nobody's fault but your own if you can't act right. Rejection is tough and can be discouraging I get that but y'all have got to stop placing blame and saying it is all their fault when bad things happen to them. That is Incel shooter manifesto stuff. Very dangerous attitude.
@mauvefox - 1. it's a systemic problem. Your individual behavior may be standout, but it's a small island in a sea of forces incentivizing things at a site wide level. You may answer every message you get (do you?), but hundreds of other women don't answer almost any. See factor #1. Most men who remain on the site, won't be the ones who seek platonic cuddles, because you need a stronger motivation than that to persevere in such conditions. So, you're left to deal with a structural environment you personally didn't contribute to. Sucks for you. Sucks for men like me who can't find a real woman to cuddle with. But that's reality. 2. Re: unregistered - sorry, my bad. I glanced at OP's profile quickly and seemed she wasn't registered. I apologize for tat. I do report unregistered pros I encounter as a user, but after several times my reports were flat out ignored, I have kind of given up. 3. Not sure where you saw bashing? I am explaining to OP what an average male user's thought process is. He sees an objectively large expense, and thinks that simple cuddling isn't worth it. It's human nature to want to get more for less. Nothing to do with cuddling or sex really. Applies to literally any transaction you can think of. Don't tell me you never tried to haggle with a car dealership to throw in an extra item or something to sweeten the deal?
Thank you for acknowledging the error.
Believe me, I’m well aware of the systemic issues both on this site and in the world in general. It’s not unique to here.
The bashing part was assuming if they charge less then they will have a better clientele. There are a ton of threads that go over this in a monotonous way. Folks charge what they charge. People charge all different rates and run into the same issues. Or don’t charge at all and run into the same issues. You don’t have to explain the systemic failure of many men feeling entitled to women as sexual objects. I live it every day.
@Dayenu sure, you could stop at one cuddle partner if they are meeting your needs....but there's a lot of reasons to not settle with just one cuddle partner.
1) if your schedules end up not aligning, or something happens in either of your personal lives, one or both are SOL and have to start searching from scratch again.
2) there's always the chance that you end up not being compatible long term even if you have cuddled a few times.
3) it's easier to fall into issues of "catching feelings" and transference if you are putting all of your touch and emotional regulation needs into one person.
For those reasons, and others, it's generally recommended that people who are particularly touch starved, have a history of codependency, or who are new to platonic cuddling continue to meet potential cuddle partners and alternate between them. It's better to think of cuddle partners as a circle of friends around one hobby than as an exclusive romantic/sexual relationship replacement. It saves everyone a lot of heartache and frustration in the long run.
I see your points and they are all very good. I am one with a very restrictive schedule, and I find it hard to have time to take time for myself. Right now my sons are out of town at summer camp, so I am trying to arrange some "me time", but it is a rare occasion in the phase of life I am in. Were I less busy, I would probably be running into some of the issues you detailed. Sorry for the simplistic take.
@dolphin3 - I don't know why you think every woman owes you and every other a man a response every single time we're messaged. What I hear from your post is that you feel entitled to attention and unhappy you can't get free cuddles. Women you do not know do not owe you anything. You're taking it personally that a woman didn't even look at your profile when you messaged them? They are a person, with a whole life that you know nothing about, there's a multitude of reasons where that would happen without anything to do with you. But if any of them catch wind of your posts like this, it's only going to be more difficult for you to connect with one.
@dolphin3
Blaming women or pros for men’s expectations or behavior around a clearly defined platonic, consent-based service is a mischaracterization. The boundaries are explicit and consistently stated, not hidden or ambiguous.
What you’re describing conflates personal frustration and individual experience with broad conclusions about women and the platform. That’s not a structural critique—it’s a projection of unmet expectations onto others. Consent-based work doesn’t become something else because someone feels disappointed by it, and generalizing women on the platform based on that disappointment isn’t a valid conclusion.
“you're a pro (even worse, not even marked as a registered pro). “
Sounds like an insult to me….
And what the hell is registered pro? How do you check for it? I followed all the requirements that were requested from me. I thought I was registered pro? Can someone help me with this part?
@JoannainFlorida You're fine. He meant an approved pro, which you are. We don't use the phrase "registered pro" on this site.
@JoannainFlorida He also did acknowledge he made an error on that one because you are an approved pro. But you’re right about the implied insult.
I'm curious if all the men who complain about not getting replies take the time and effort to respond to all the unsolicited mail (edit to add: and unsolicited phone calls and texts and emails) they get. After all, not doing so would be rude (/s) 🙄🙄🙄
@Velvet_Heart and @cuddlefaery YES!! whole heartedly agree. I wish there were like and dislike buttons so I could do those instead...
“for an average man cuddling is NOT seen as worth the high amount of money pros charge. So, if they go to a pro, they are going to think "I'm being ripped off, and I'd like a service that's worth what I pay". Hence, expectation of sex.”
Nah dog. Yikes. I don’t know what else to say, just fuckin YIKES. I don’t want to let this comment go by unnoticed when it deserves to be puked on.
Do you walk into a fancy restaurant, complain that burgers don’t cost that much at Wendy’s and decide it means you get to steal the chairs?
@Comet85 Hahahaha that Wendy's comment produced a legit belly laugh from deep down in my soul. Thank you!
@Comet85 yeah, there's been several yikes comments like that. At least they're waving their red flags for everyone here to take note.
"Sir, this ain't a Wendy's."
@Comet85 Yes!!! 😁 that comment did not go unnoticed by me and was cringe af. So thank you for calling it out specifically. Usually a couple comments on these forums and you can tell pretty quickly why someone isn’t getting any where. No matter how smooth a talker someone thinks they are, this stuff seeps through and gets noticed by the recipient.
"Sir, this is not Burger King. You cannot have it your way. Also, please don't touch the chairs like that. Yes, we are very aware that they demand a hefty charge for you to sit on them but, that does NOT entitle you to have your way with them. Sheesh."
When I don’t a response from a pro I’m curious as to why I don’t but I would say only 5-10% don’t respond. They don’t owe me a response but I ponder for a little bit and move on. Just today I received a response after 2 years :-) so you never know!
@Velvet_Heart
Well it certainly must have been the chairs fault for leading them on , I mean they left the house in that dress and high heels after all so what did you expect ?
The code is “Drink more Ovaltine”. Thank you for playing.
Well…he was super fun wasn’t he? Just screams respectful and caring energy.
@mauvefox yeah...anyone who uses that site for anything other than tracking down banned members is suspect. The entire purpose of those men is the "game" of pushing boundaries and manipulation.
🍿
The unfortunate thing is that probably good 75% of my clients have been offered extra from pros, and some pros that had a lot of karma. So sometimes these people have already had someone offer them something so they figure that it's a norm to ask for the next person. Very few of these pros have gotten reported.
One of my clients who was a very sweet, very platonic client was offered a BJ when he declined. The lady said a lot of us offer that, and he said my regular pro cuddler does not. And she went on to say well she's lame. So honestly, those people need to go just as much as the people asking for extras.