That one question…

HeldHereJeffHeldHereJeff
in General

Having cuddled now with a variety of cuddlers, I have found myself enjoying something that I avoided previously: small talk. Getting to know someone is such an art. I find it involves the right questions at the right times.

I find that a great cuddle begins with genuine curiosity. The right question that reveals confidence, vulnerability, hidden humor, that hidden connection.

So tell me... what's the one question you've secretly wished someone would ask you? The one that would instantly make the conversation more interesting. Maybe it's bold. Maybe it's unexpected. Maybe it's something that would make you smile before you even answered.

Comments

  • JohnR1972JohnR1972

    I am in transition from career 4.2 to 5.0
    At the end of my career 2.0, I was a quality manager for a global medical device company. I hired several quality engineers for my department while I was in that role. My favorite interview question was, “what is the most recent, significant thing you have changed your mind about”?

    To me, the only “wrong” answer was “nothing”. I viewed anyone who never changed their mind about anything as a huge red flag suggesting that person was probably closed minded and unwilling / unable to challenge themselves to re-evaluate things after they had made up their mind.

    I’ve asked this question of some repeat cuddle partners and that has led to some really fun, meaningful, and insightful conversations.

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery
    edited July 3

    As a general "getting to know you" type question:
    Tell me about one experience, person/character, or bit of knowledge that fundamentally changed how you view the world?
    Answers tend to range from really sweet, to funny, to profound, to occasionally horrifying. You not only learn about an important event in their life - you learn about how they think, what they prioritize, and how they approach beliefs and knowledge.

    As a cuddle specific exercise, I love "The 3-minute Game", which has cuddle partners ask each other two questions:
    How would you like me to touch you for the next 3 minutes?
    How would you like to touch me for the next 3 minutes?
    The partners then discuss what they are comfortable with, negotiate to accommodate each other's desires and needs, and then do the requested touch activity for 3 minutes.

    On the surface, they seem like very basic likes/dislikes type questions. But they also make us pause to consider how we're feeling in the moment, what our current needs are, what our current boundaries around touch are, and how we tend to prefer giving vs receiving touch. The second question in particular can cause people to pause, because we don't tend to discuss or consider how we like to touch others - only how we like being touched ourselves. It also is a great introduction to negotiating with consent in a healthy manner.

  • GroundingLightGroundingLight
    edited July 3

    I personally love when ppl ask me what I do for living. Sounds basic I know BUT It’s always a shock factor and once I get going about my culture, spirituality, holistic practices and what makes you rich in life, you can’t stop that train lol
    Ppl who are open minded are my favorite ❤️
    And I love to teach ppl something new and how I operate is usually “something new”!
    And I love to learn new things too!

  • WestsideMarcWestsideMarc

    Coke v Pepsi.

  • GroundingLightGroundingLight
    edited July 3

    @WestsideMarc how about Faygo or Squirt?! 🤣🤷🏽‍♀️
    I might live in Florida but I’m from Michigan lol

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