How Trauma Informed Has Your Cuddling Experience Been?

SilkyNSafeSilkyNSafe
in Pro Cuddling

Hi guys. I'm a new Cuddler to the space waiting on my pro-application to be approved but I had curiosity around people's experiences with being trauma informed on the platform.

If you are a Cuddler — how are you ensuring your sessions are trauma informed? I come from a background of dealing with SA survivors and being a survivor myself. I understand this isn't anything anyone would need to disclose, but in the sessions I have had, I've been extremely mindful. In fact a portion of my hesitance with being a Cuddler even though I was certified in 2023 was because I wanted to know more about trauma in case someone experienced an activation.

If you're a Cuddlee — are there specific ways your Cuddler can make you feel safer? Especially those of you that may be particularly sensitive to touch, or skittish being around people? Has cuddling helped anyone else heal from trauma?

I had experiences between 2021-2022 that helped me face my trauma before I went on to be a Cuddler myself so I'm just curious about others experiences.

Super excited to be apart of the space! Thanks for having me.

Comments

  • pmvinespmvines

    I think it's safe to say that most people are not trauma informed, and just my personal opinion but people shouldn't be looking to cuddling as a substitute for trauma therapy

  • SilkyNSafeSilkyNSafe

    @pmvines I completely agree. I did my cuddling under the supervision of a therapist and while it helped me, it's definitely not a substitute or stand in for any form of therapy. I'm just happy my Cuddler was trauma informed so they didn't re-traumatize me while I was actively doing work with my therapist.

  • TattooSqueezeTattooSqueeze
    edited July 29

    As a Certified Trauma Informed Care Provider, there is a lot those goes into preparing for each cuddle session. I will ask what kind of experience they are seeking so I can tailor the session accordingly. I don't ask for disclosure of abuse or trauma. I share that I provide trauma informed care and I'm mindful of how scents, sound and touches can be triggering. So if I do something that causes discomfort to please let me know. I ask if there are certain areas of the body that they would like me to avoid as well. During the session, it's important to pay attention to breathing and how they respond to touch. If they can't articulate what feels good it's good idea to ask for consent before you touch. For example, "Can I touch your head, shoulder, knees and toes?"

    "Healed people, heal people." ~Mark Hill

  • SilkyNSafeSilkyNSafe

    @TattooSqueeze Thanks for responding. This is a lot of what I do as well. Cuddlist taught me to let all touch be client led which helps.

  • NewEverythingWDNewEverythingWD

    I always try to be proactive about affirming/reaffirming consent and comfort during sessions. "Can I put my hand on your shoulder?" "Are you comfortable or do we need to readjust?" If someone is skittish around touch or people then I'd want to go at their speed, maybe just sit near each other and chat or hold hands to warm up. If someone chooses to share something vulnerable with me, I try to come from a place of listening non-judgmentally and validating their experience/feelings, rather than trying to "solve the problem." I also know some basic grounding techniques that I'd try to share to help someone experiencing PTSD or a panic attack or something of that nature. Thanks for making this thread, I think serotonin and oxytocin and just basic touch and human connection can do a lot to heal.

  • SilkyNSafeSilkyNSafe

    @NewEverythingWD I think a preliminary chat is super awesome. I like to do discovery calls before I commit to a session just to be sure we're on the same page and that I'm what they're looking for. i think it goes a long way when meeting me (a literal stranger to them). I want them to be as comfortable as possible and have as much information as they are comfortable sharing going forward. But recently I had a wonderful woman and we had a 3 hour session where the first hour was just having tea, breathing, and stretching. I like titrating touch with sensitive persons.

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery

    The vast majority of cuddlers on this site, pros or not, do not have any related training - including trauma-informed practices. Being a professional cuddler currently has no requirements regarding education or training.

    I always encourage people who have unresolved trauma, especially touch-related trauma, to seek out pros with actual trauma-informed training. It made a huge difference for me early on, as while other pros were empathetic, that extra level of consideration for trauma was incredibly important for my healing.

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