At Home Pet Euthanasia

CuddlesWithCatCuddlesWithCat
in General

I’m putting my cat down this Saturday at home later in the evening and it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through. I’ve put my pet rats down at the vet, even a dog in childhood. But I have to say this will hit harder than a sack of bricks. She’s 19 and has renal failure. The vet said she’s not in any pain, it’s like she’s drunk, basically.

How did you cope? Even if you have little to no friends? No one in real life to show up for you? I’m sorry for the loss of anyone’s pets here, past and presently…

Comments

  • JustAGuy215JustAGuy215

    I'm sorry you have to deal with all this. I can't imagine the pain of having to do this yourself.

  • ElrondishElrondish
    edited August 13

    Just lost a dog friend monday and I’m devastated. I’m not sure I would have been able to make the call. I’m glad I was invited to be present, it meant the world to me and I think it helps even though it hurts. I hope it helps bring you peace in your time of grief.

    I’m coping by alternating between watching my old videos and photos of all the things we did together, tears and occasionally disengaging to work on a hobby. When my mind can’t let go, I think of future projects I can incorporate my pupper friend into. Like making a little shelf figure of him or collecting the videos into single coherent memory to share with my friend.

  • biancalovecraftbiancalovecraft

    I went through this with my pup in October, and it was his kidneys too so I can really relate. All the nursing and emergency visits and money and giving him fluids was consuming and just made me bond harder to him in his last year and the sadness was in the realm of sublime.
    I'm sorry to be honest, but you're going to go through hell. 19 years is a lifetime.
    Put yourself in your grief absolutely first for as long as you need to. That means calling out of work, staying in bed, taking an indefinite leave of absence from anyone who utters the words "get over it it was just a blah". Join an online support group. There's some pet loss videos from therapists on YouTube that might be comforting to you.
    I was lucky to have people around me who understood through their own experience but nobody really understands the bond between you and your familiar. They live inside you now. I hope that helps just a tiny bit.

  • SpicyNSweetSpicyNSweet

    I'm so sorry. 😭 I've lost my fur babies before and it's brutal. Just try and hold on to all the good memories. I have a very very old cat who I don't think will last until next year, so I've been mentally preparing myself for him to go. Sending you so many hugs.

  • QualTy1QualTy1

    The hardest thing we can do for our pets is also the kindest thing. We all wish that we never have to make that call and they go in their sleep - it rarely ever happens, but recognizing when they're suffering and being able to end that is something we must do for them. I've seen pet parents wait too long and by the time they come to the hospital, they are indeed suffering. So yes, it is difficult and I'm so very sorry for your pain, but know in your heart that what you are doing is very noble and can be considered one of your last acts of true love for your baby❤️I wish you love and healing❤️

  • Snugglesquad219Snugglesquad219

    Stay busy. Plan out your next couples days and focus on the task at hand. It wont be painless but it will help get you past those first few empty days. I stayed busy sun up to sun down for 2 weeks. Still cried a lot at night when the world stood still and the silence of her lack of presence would hit.

  • LivnTheLifeLivnTheLife
    edited August 13

    @CuddlesWithCat I have had the loss of a beloved four legged, furry friend. It was one of the hardest things, as you said, to go though. Time heals, that's the best I can say.

    Below is a story from https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/ For many years it was listed as "author unknown" but back in 2023 the author was found to be written in 1959 by Edna Clyne who lost her beloved dog. I don't know if there is a heaven, but....it brings me comfort when I read it. Maybe it will to you too......

    Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

    When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

    All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

    They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

    You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

    Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

  • ProfHermesProfHermes

    @CuddlesWithCat my buddy passed a couple of months ago and I was there at the pet hospital during his last moments. For me, it was the guilt of having to make the decision really quickly while his status escalated. It really hurt the day of. But you slowly learn to cope and understand it. It helps talking about it with people that understand you.

  • CuddlesWithCatCuddlesWithCat

    Thank you all so much and thank you for sharing your stories. My heart goes out to you all. Me and my mother will take it the worst I think. I hope we can hold her when she goes; whether that’s on our lap or something. Trying to think of how we can both hold her. I kind of wanted her on my chest. I know I’ll bawl…

  • rxpectingrxpecting

    The vet and their team who offer at home euthanasia out here are absolutely wonderful people. I don't feel that tough of an experience could have been handled with any more kindness and compassion for both us and our pets. Yes they should be able to have her in your laps - you can pull a couple chairs next to each other and have her on a blanket between your laps. (outside in the backyard can also be ok, though that's more a dog thing) They won't rush your goodbyes.
    Take time off if you can. For me the right music can both bring out needed emotion and help nudge me a bit towards normality. For others maybe the perfect movie.

  • BrandiBrandi
    edited August 13

    @CuddleswithCats so sorry you’re dealing with that :(
    I put my senior pug down at a vet during Covid times. It was brutal. There’s genuinely no coping when there is such a huge bond with a pet. Just grief. in any way you see fit. Cry. Enjoy the memories…And to have a at home euthanizing, know you gave your kitty the best life up till the end. By Ending any suffering she had in the home she knew. hopefully you can be with her until the last moment as hard as it is for you, it Lets her know you’re there for her till the end.
    Sending love and good vibes your way.

  • JubalJubal
    edited August 13

    For many years now, I've always had multiple pets at any one time. Whenever one has to be put down, we always let the others see and smell the body before burying it. I believe this helps the cats & dogs know why their friend isn't around any more. Best coping thing for me is when the other animals adjust their own routines - one of the younger ones will start snuggling with me, or become more active in some way, and I have to adjust to their new routines. Silly as it may sound, it helps.

    edit and yes, I firmly believe that having the mobile vet do this at home is far less stressful on our pets. Your cat will be at home with the people she loves rather than in an unfamiliar, frightening place. It may not be practical to hold her in the moment, but absolutely keep petting her and talking to her. If the last thing she hears is your voice, that's surely a good thing, right?

  • Sierra724Sierra724

    I was just crying five minutes ago for my 20 year old cat. She had kidney failure too. I had to make the most difficult decision of my life in May. She told me too or I couldn’t have done it. She wasn’t eating. She was disappearing in front of me. It all happened so fast. It’s coming up on three months. I still can’t believe it. When it comes to her, this special being, a little daughter to me, my heart will never heal. This is just something we carry now. CC is last place I would ever think to discuss her or get a sign from her but like I said, I was just thinking about what we would be doing tonight, a night at home with treats and kitty cuddles and I was emotional.💔 And I open the app and this is the first thing I see.😢 Be gentle with yourself in the coming weeks. Spend these last hours with your cat together covered in love. The memories are going to be important.💕

  • l3tzcuddlel3tzcuddle
    edited August 13

    I’m so sorry. I just went through this alone too. It’s been very hard. For me, planning a couple of things in the future where I know I will see/contact people who know me well helped.

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    Hugs going out to all who have lost/are losing beloved pets.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🫂 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Junkie 📷 Shutter Bug

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery

    I also had to let a beloved fur baby go back in October, likely due to kidney failure. He had steadily declined over 6 months after a kidney injury from blockage. It was super tough because I was also rehoming one of my other cats due to moving, and it just felt like I was giving up on him. But the vet at the euthanasia appointment confirmed he was not doing well and likely did not have more than a few days of suffering left. My partner and I got to hold and pet him as the meds kicked in. He was hurting and scared and confused, but he wasn't alone and even as sick as he was he showed us appreciation so I think it made a difference.

    Grief is an old friend of mine after losing my mom relatively young (she was 53). I did not deal with the emotions that came up, shut everything down and bottled up to "be strong", take care of everyone else, and because I was in panic mode as I lost my entire mental health coping mechanism. So instead of processing the grief, feeling it and going through the pain in a healthy way, I delayed the process for over a decade as my mental health steadily declined and I crashed and burned.

    My biggest advice:
    Allow yourself to hurt, to smile at a happy memory, to close it all off to cope for awhile - everyone copes differently.

    And finding a way to memorialize your loved one in a way that is meaningful to you. Hold a little service, pray, create art, get a tattoo, make a memory book - whatever feels right. Memorializing isn't just to honor the dead - it has been part of the human grieving process since before civilizations arose. For my recent loss, I found a rainbow bridge bracelet online and I wear it every day, but I have plans to get a tattoo for each of my fur babies (I already have one for my mom), and I want to make some symbolic art using his collar.

    Above all, keep talking through what you're experiencing - whether it's with friends/family, a therapist, a religious councilor, or random internet strangers. Bottling up is only an effective coping mechanism in the short term - it quickly fails after the initial days of pushing through. Pain sucks, but it's life and it's part of the beauty of love and connection with others.

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery

    If you're not already familiar with it, the "Grief is a ball in a box" analogy felt very validating for me and has helped me in tough moments the past several years.

  • MattCuddleBearMattCuddleBear

    @LivnTheLife You made me cry at work 😢 🐈

  • situation5situation5

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I know the pain of losing your fur kid all too well. I lost both of my dogs over the past 3 years. Its so hard on those who consider our pets as family

  • CuddleTherapy70CuddleTherapy70

    @CuddleswithCat Holding you in a blanket of warm vibes. Saying goodbye is never easy but knowing you made the best choice for your furbaby is a healing step especially keeping them at home with less stress to them.

    May I ask your loved ones, name?

    You are in a community here. Feel free to reach out, even if it's just to have someone say hi.

  • MattCuddleBearMattCuddleBear
    edited August 14

    I went through same thing a few years ago. I held her in my arms the whole time. If I hadn't done everything to make her feel loved I would have regretted it.
    I hope you will be ok and can be at peace.

  • CuddlesWithCatCuddlesWithCat

    Her name is Twister. Thank you guys so much, again. Tomorrow around 730-800PM PST is when I will have the vet come by. Tonight I am spending it cuddling with her and mom, with kitty between us. It might sound weird. But I don’t want to hog her all to myself. This will be hard, but I’m doing it for her. Solely…

  • CaringSoulCaringSoul

    I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's very difficult & painful since our pets are part of our family. Sending you hugs & prayers. I can totally relate. One of my cat passed away 😭 💔 yesterday. I'm grief stricken, inconsolable. He's 13.5 years old. I adopted him when he was 2 years old. For 11.5 years together he gave me so much love, joy & comfort. He had a sudden stroke 3 months ago. I tried to make him feel better & make him recover by doing all sorts of therapeutic stuffs which helped him have partial recovery the past 3 months. But the past 2 days especially he got worse since the stroke really affected & damaged his brain functions & had neurological health issues. He died yesterday when I was petting him. I feel like a piece of me died too 💔😭. I arranged for his individual private cremation. I already picked up his beautiful urn with his photo, his name & his date printed on it, along with pillow with same his photo & his name on it. I'm really going to miss him so much. The next coming months are going to be brutal as I grieve loosing my beloved cat.

  • CuddlesWithCatCuddlesWithCat

    I am so sorry for your loss, and everyone else who has experienced this pain…

  • MmmeowwMmmeoww

    2 years ago I made the decision for my daughter who was almost 18z she’s been my only constant in this crazy world and I laid her to rest at home. Get paw prints ink & paper before hand. I recommend maybe doing the clay imprint before hand as well..I feel for you and am here for you. It’s not easy but it’s the best decision so they are comfortable and at home with you in a safe space. Proud of you and please feel free to direct message me.💜 sending you and your baby all my love & strength ✨🫂

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