When I was pulled over the cop said " Your eyes are red. Have you been drinking?" I asked " Your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating donuts?" We both laughed...I need bail money
@7gem I tried to smuggle you bail money in a Boston crème from Dunkin Donuts but apparently the money and the donut was intercepted by the guards.
@TheFunCartel Explains this guards messy moustache.
I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school just like I did.
Yogi Berra
You know when you buy a bag of salad and a few days later its all brown and soggy? Cookies don't do that.
@7gem neither will 🥮
@7gem that's just solid life advice right there.
So, I quit my law practice and became a dog breeder. I prefer boxers over briefs.
Late one night in the middle of the day Two dead boys got up to play Back to back they faced each other Drew their swords and shot each other A deaf policeman heard the noise And shot the two dead boys If you don't believe this lie is true Ask the blind man he saw it too
The gap between rungs on a ladder has increased as people have gotten taller. This is known as climb-it change.