Known Registered Sex Offenders — Allowed on here??

MelNYCMelNYC
edited August 29 in General

Reporting the account was correct. The account is now banned. - Mark

I’m a little disturbed because I had a client who admitted that they are a registered sex offender. According to the registry, they r*ped a child and conspired with others online to sexually abuse children. They’re a pedophile.

The client in question cancelled our session a few hours before and then blocked me after sending a message saying that they’re a sex offender and they don’t deserve to be close to anyone. I reported this to mods and I was told that him being a register sex offender does not disqualify him from having a profile.

I am…blown away. I do my due diligence with every client and I understand the limitations of moderators who are volunteers, but this feels patently wrong that this person can continue to have a profile on here, knowing that they’re a sex offender. I literally sent the mod the link to their profile on the registry. It’s not a grey area. It’s not a maybe situation. He admitted it. There’s proof of it in his messages and when googling him.

I realize that I am perhaps being overly sensitive due to my own history of abuse when I was younger, but are we seriously letting know. pedophiles be on this platform? Is that not utterly ridiculous?

Would love to hear other opinions on this. It’s got me really rattled. I appreciate him self-disclosing but no action being taken on his account just feels wrong.

Comments

  • wilderdudewilderdude

    I don't think the site has claimed they do any form of background check. That is deferred to the pro to do their own screening.

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    Personally, I think it's disturbing as eff. Legally, I imagine they are allowed in 18+ spaces.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🫂 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Junkie 📷 Shutter Bug

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
    edited August 28

    [Writing as a private member.]

    It's the ethos of cuddling. People don't suddenly stop needing touch just because they committed an offence. Everybody is welcome: the only requirement is that you follow the terms of service to which you have agreed. (Off the top of my head I think another requirement is that you have to be 18.)

    The site does not check or verify any member in any way.

    Professionals are fully entitled to decide who they accept as clients, and it is common for a particular professional not be a good match for a particular client.

  • MeltMyWayMeltMyWay

    @MelNYC there is zero vetting by cuddle comfort for members wether pros or non pros .... you can certainly comment in the pro only forum under the post for "unpleasant client experiences" or maybe even post under "unsafe client experience" .... if you feel you need to warn others.

  • VibeSeekerVibeSeeker

    This site doesn't have the means to personally do a bg check on everyone and generally advises to take your own precautions and do your own due diligence from what I can tell.

    Im glad you were able to avoid the person.

  • JustAGuy215JustAGuy215

    While I get that the mods can't be expected to do a background check on everyone who joins and it's the individual's responsibility to do their due diligence, I do think that if there's public proof of someone potentially dangerous here, that's enough reason to deny them access.

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @JustAGuy215
    💯

    They ban people for much less. Constantly. Make it make sense.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🫂 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Junkie 📷 Shutter Bug

  • BrandiBrandi

    Yea that definitely should be a ban worthy offense in my opinion. 😬

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
    edited August 28

    @SunsetSnuggles the only way to get a ban is to break the terms of service. The member in question has not done so, and it is not alleged that he has done so. The question of banning does not arise.

    He has done his crime, and he has his punishment. He is presumably restricted from certain activities that relate to his crime, in order to help prevent a re-offence. As far as we are aware, cuddling a consenting adult is not one of those. He remains a human being.

    I suggest that there are few people on the site today who need a cuddle more than he does.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    Taking this from a different angle I would say this—you do not approve of what he did (no one does) but he was honest about it and cancelled. That takes courage to own such a horrible misdeed and while it does not exonerate him, I say that for another reason. The guys you have to worry about are the ones (they are probably not even pedophiles) that say nothing at all and come at you in good faith and tell you they will uphold your boundaries. Until they don’t. They are every day guys who are seemingly normal, have no rap sheet, and could even be Father of the Year. But they have a deeply engrained disregard for the do’s and don’ts of women. I have heard it too many times on this site.

    In summary, it’s not what anyone has done in the past that matters, it’s what they could do to you. And it’s on you to prevent it for better or worse.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    Seconded.

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    Terms & Conditions state:

    "We reserve the right to ban, suspend or delete any account for any reason."

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🫂 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Junkie 📷 Shutter Bug

  • bearhugs99bearhugs99

    Wow!!! That's crazy!!! 😱😱😱😱

  • JubalJubal

    Objectively, a pedophile is probably not likely to be a danger to a grown adult woman. But subjectively @MelNYC I agree with you. It seems wrong that the site allows a class of known dangerous offenders to remain on the site.

    I don't know what the solution might be since the site doesn't do any background checks, vetting etc. of members.

  • MelNYCMelNYC

    @Jubal Certainly not asking the website to do my vetting for me. I realize the limitations here. But to know that a sexual predator is active on this website and to not do something about it when the terms and service clearly state, “"We reserve the right to ban, suspend or delete any account for any reason."…that just seems irresponsible.

    The person’s profile also has their minimum age set at 18 and under the “children” section of their bio, they say, “I would like children.” Not to mention their message to me was forcing the knowledge of their sexual crimes on me (and then blocked me immediately but still have their profile on here).

    It’s all just a bit gross to me. People are banned for much less all the time. Quite frankly, worried mods will ban MY account for starting this thread.

  • m_a_s_1010m_a_s_1010

    @MelNYC I agree with all you said and I'm happy you found out BEFORE your meeting. Stay safe.

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    For those saying the site doesn't check or verify...they do, on every report. 😂 Nude photos, verified and banned. Scheduling off-site, verified and banned. Eyes open, people.

    @Jubal posted: "not likely to be a danger to a grown adult woman"

    Because raping a child shows they are good with boundaries.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🫂 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Junkie 📷 Shutter Bug

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited August 28

    worried mods will ban MY account for starting this thread.

    You haven’t violated any TOS and the thread isn’t trolling so you have nothing to worry about as far as posting this thread in the forums.

  • CaramelNotesCaramelNotes

    I'm scared to comment. Please don't be mean to me in your responses. When I read that the person was a sex offender, I immediately thought that SHOULD be banned. Then I thought of the innocent people who get accused of crimes they never committed but still have to register. How do you differentiate between banning a person who did not do a crime and the person who did do a crime? Most folks probably won't self identify.

    The next thing is if this person is a pedophile - that's gross - I 100% agree with that, but that doesn't necessarily mean that will be harmful to adult women.

    I would not want to cuddle with a known and admitted sex offender. I also don't know how the site would ban folks in that category unless they are self identifying and in that case people would probably just stop admitting it so they could have a profile.

    Some things are hard to govern. That doesn't mean that we don't try to find a solution but I do understand how that will be hard.

  • mauvefoxmauvefox

    What about people who have committed domestic violence. What about people who have committed murder/manslaughter. What about people who have assault and battery. What about people who have committed burglary. What about the people who have done all those things and were never caught.

    It’s the internet. Be safe out there people. Please.

  • MeltMyWayMeltMyWay

    @CaramelNotes I agree with you. I know a guy that is in sex offenders list from when he peed in some bushes in side of a frat house during a party. And another guy that as a junior was dating a freshman in high school for over a year and when he became 18 was prosecuted and is in his 40s still in sex offenders list. So being in the list alone is not enough for someone. To be banned. But this person admitted to her he had problems and shouldn't have a session with her or others.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    If we start banning everyone who has a history of sex offences, then CC would have to start with world leaders and royalty.

  • MelNYCMelNYC

    @CaramelNotes @MeltMyWay He raped a kid under 10. He has multiple convictions for various sexual crimes. He wasn’t simply accused. He was convicted. He also admitted to it. I didn’t find this out on my own. He told me. And it happened less than a year ago. This isn’t a case of a guy being falsely accused of a crime. To quote his message to me: “I'm a sex offender who made a stupid decision when I was in deep depression and isolation. I don't have the right anymore to have someone close even if its for a paid session. I lost all rights I had as a person and I am below every living and non living thing on this earth for the rest of eternity.”

    While I don’t think that there’s any way for mods to vet people and I’m not expecting them to do my checks for me, when evidence is presented that someone RAPED A CHILD by their own admission within the last year, they forced that information on me without my consent, and then blocked me but then remained active on this website…no, I don’t personally believe that person should be allowed in a community where trust, boundaries, and consent are paramount to safety. I don’t care about the age of the person he raped. I don’t care if it was a child or a woman or a man. He’s a known rapist who chose to share that information with me in a self-pitying rant about how he doesn’t deserve touch before blocking me from being able to respond.

    Terms of Service State: "We reserve the right to ban, suspend or delete any account for any reason.”

    Call me crazy, but admitting to being a rapist feels like it should fall under “for any reason”.

  • MelNYCMelNYC

    @TheFunCartel Are you done?

  • JediJJediJ

    I absolutely agree with @MelNYC. This person should be banned without hesitation.

  • MelNYCMelNYC

    @JustAGuy215 Absolutely. At no point did I say the website should be screening. But when presented with evidence (and an admission by the person!) it seems like someone should give a shit. Thanks for getting it.

  • MelNYCMelNYC

    @m_a_s_1010 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 Can’t wait until we can have our session! Love to the pup ♥️

  • JubalJubal

    @SunsetSnuggles I meant that as an objective statement of the relative risks - the typical pedophiles rap sheet doesn't often include crimes against adults. I'm not suggesting for a moment that you, the OP, or any other woman on here should have to be alone with such a person.

  • MarkMark Mod

    Reporting someone in this case was the right thing to do. This case will be reviewed.

    We reserve the right to ban for reasons beyond simply breaking any specific listed rule. If someone is a known sex offender, and adequate evidence is provided (ideally something like a public record), that can be sufficient enough reason for us to ban an account. In all cases, we will consider the full context available.

    I'm choosing to lock this thread.

  • BlueIrisBlueIris Mod

    The account in question has been banned.

This discussion has been locked.