Thanks AlyLauren, that was a really thoughtful response.
You're welcome @sempergumby33 !
Good luck in both your romantic and cuddling endeavors!
Physical affection can mean different things to different people, which is why discussing comfort levels is an important part of getting to know someone. Even something as simple as cuddling can require trust, clear communication, and an understanding of personal boundaries, especially when two people have only recently started dating. Online dating can help begin that process through conversation before meeting in person.
This is a PLATONIC site, and we do not appreciate nor allow links to adult hookup sites. - BlueIris
Please keep us updated. I, personally have never disclosed my cuddling with anyone I have dated.
Explaining cuddling to SO / someone you’re newly dating
I don't have to.
When I'm dating, I'm not cuddling.
When I'm cuddling, I'm not dating.
In your profession it is garuntee you experience vicarious trauma, and need some form of safe touch to counteract the reality you are constantly exposed to. I believe anyone you date would understand that, given they are a mature individual. If they can’t understand it, I don’t think they’re on your intellectual level and you should reconsider the connection. Maybe they will understand your history of professional cuddling, but ask you to give it up because they want to be your sole cuddle buddy. That’s really up to you facing the possible ultimatum.
For myself, I have gotten many missed reactions in the dating world exposing my position as a professional cuddler. Some guys think it’s really interesting and understand it’s a job that I have studied and trained for, not a hobby I am willing to give up. For me the ultimatum would be financial because I can’t afford this economy without cuddling. Other guys it’s an immediate “no, I would never want a gf that does that.” And sometimes (probably my least favorite) is when they shift from a person I’m dating to acting like a client and wanting the “free service.” Of course I want to cuddle the person I’m dating but I don’t want them to act like we are role playing a session and some guys have tried that. It feels disrespectful.
Delacio.....what a dumbass
I wouldn't give up cuddling to date someone
@sempergumby33 I've had the same discussion during sessions with pros.. Not everyone but a few have asked me for advice when it comes to dating and what they should tell the person they're dating about this. So the same advice I gave to them I'm also going to give to you because honestly it's what I would do myself.. So take my two cents on this for what it's worth.. If I'm not looking for anything serious and it's just dating I'm going to keep this to myself because chances are after a few dates I'm not going to see her because like I said I'm not really serious about a committed relationship. But if I reached a time in my life where I wanted to be in a committed relationship then that's the day I stop cuddling.. Even though it's 100% platonic there's not too many people out there who would be comfortable letting their significant other do this... It may work for some but it ain't going to work for others.. Even if they decide to give it a try chances are eventually they're going to tell you to stop if you want that relationship to continue.. Whatever decision you decide to make I hope it works out for you..
When I have dated, I have always been very upfront that this is what I do. It makes me happy at this point in my life. I have spent 41 years being fairly unhappy if it makes me feel fulfilled, productive, and like I’m helping people I have no intention to stop if someone can’t accept that then they are not my person.. I have met some very amazing people through cuddling who I genuinely am not ready to give up.. they are my friends and my tribe.. I have no judgement against people that are not OK with that. Everyone has to do what makes them happy but ultimately, I am no longer sacrificing my happiness to make other people happy.
I recently did a Podcast called “The Cuddle Economy: A Deep Dive into the World of Professional Cuddling”. This episode would be ideal to share with anyone that had questions about what Professional Cuddling is. Also perfect for professional cuddlers as well as enthusiasts that are looking to start this conversation. The accompanying companion episode is an interview with a professional cuddler - The interview is with @MeltMyWay and she has told me that a few of her clients have use this Poscast successfully to start a conversation about cuddeling.
I'm glad this thread was created and can't believe I missed it before. I got lucky during my last relationship that they already were aware of the cuddle world so it was easier to bring up. That being said, she didn't mind me being social on here but did not feel comfortable with me cuddling others, which I was fine with since she was giving me plenty of free cuddling anyway. However I have gone on dates with people that I met on dating apps and this question has weighed on my mind. I would say most people would not understand it so I would be a little afraid to bring it up and ask them what their thoughts are on it if it was getting serious. I could just say it was something I did in the past and then stopped, but what actually worries me is that I made a really good friend on here (her profile has been deactivated since we met up a few years ago) and we are still friends to this day and usually cuddle when we would hang out and then she would give me her thoughts and advice on people I dated. Let's say I get into a relationship and I introduce this new partner to my friends and they ask how we met. How do I say that without making her feel threatened and without losing my good platonic friend? Do I just hope she never asks how I met each of my friends?
@CSnMUS87 I mean if you really don't want to tell someone where you met but want to be sorta honest at same time... You couldn't say " oh this guy Mark introduced us years ago, and we been friends ever since" the Mark being the guy who owns the website. 🤔😂 I mean it's not incorrect
@CSnMUS87 you can also just say you met online in a forum for hobby activities.🤷🏻♀️
But really, it's best to discuss with the potential partner rather than using some predetermined script without discussion. This sort of situation comes up a lot in ENM/polyamory dynamics, where you have to cater how much you disclose based upon your partner's comfort levels and the audience. It also just happens a lot with online dating apps. I've been variously introduced as "very good friend", "cuddle buddy", "girlfriend", and "partner"... All by the same romantic partner 😂 his comfort level depended on whom we were talking to and whatever history or boundaries he had with them.
For instance, your potential partner may be fine disclosing you met through cuddling with close friends, but not ok with family or coworkers. Or perhaps complete strangers and low level acquaintances may be fine because their opinion has very little impact on your partner. It really is going to vary by person and situation, so the best way to navigate it is to discuss it.
@cuddlefaerygreatbadvuce but I believe he's asking how to explain where he met a long time friend he made through platonic cuddling to a new romantic partner, when that partner asks him how do you know that friend. Not how to introduce a cuddle partner turned significant other to people in their lives.
@TheDreamWeaver2 I just noticed you tagged me ... Yes I have had a few clients tell me they used your podcasts to open a conversation on platonic cuddling with friends and/or partners. One shared it with their wife just to see how she felt about the idea of it, get a temperature per say. Just today someone told me they had shared it with someone they knew and they are now cuddle buddies.
@MeltMyWay and @cuddlefaery thank you! Yes I was talking about potentially meeting someone not on this website who isn't into the cuddle world and explaining how I met a now great friend that came from this website (who has remained platonic and with no romance at all and is one of my 3 main "date advisors" of friends now 😂). Though I've thought of the idea and toyed with the notion of polyamory or ENM, every relationship I've been in has been monogamous and I respected that. But yes this topic is on my mind as there is someone who I see could change things in the potential near future so I'd have to have the conversation at some point. I'd also have to ask if she felt comfortable with me being active on here for the forum and such or if she'd prefer if I deactivated my profile.
@CSnMUS87 fwiw, the advice I shared can be applied to any relationship - it doesn't have to be just the romantic partner you have the discussion with. I'll ask friends from different friend groups how they prefer to be introduced to each other. For me, it's a common courtesy and honoring their boundaries, comfort levels, and privacy. I do my best not to disclose private information from one friend to another without their permission, and that includes specifics of our relationship that aren't relevant to the other person or the conversation. If I haven't gotten permission or had the conversation, I stay as vague as possible.
@MeltMyWay - I hope it was ok that I tagged you.
@TheDreamWeaver2 of course 🫂