Meditation, prayer and reading! Sometimes it’s also as simple as mindful breathing.
Most of the time what works for me is doing something with my hands. Build something, write, play one of my instruments but most of the time cooking something does the job. I guess being present and with multiple senses activated at once is what does it for me.
Your not alone. The shame i feel normally wasnt event half of what ive felt after the fact on Sunday. I think i really came close to tryin one of the hard ones you really should say No too. An a day filled with cuddling. Im talkin over 8 hours. That wasnt enough.
Deconstruct it.
Put on one of my hundreds of playlists for any situations.
If those don't help, one of my besties is a doctor and I contact her for advice, and I also have some friends who are working on their psych degrees so I can go to them.
Your brain is only trying to protect you, but not every thought it produces needs to be listened to. Thank your thoughts for once helping you survive a situation. Then let them know that you are safe now, and repeat it as many times as you need to. Focus on your breathing and thank them one last time. Tell them they’re free to go now because you no longer need them. Be gentle with yourself. 💛
Personally, smoke weed. Nothing else works as quickly or as efficiently when I’m going down a spiral of dark thoughts and emotions. When I smoke, everything is instantly lighter in my mind and energy.
Personally, my natural instinct is to hermit and disassociate - it's how my brain learned to cope with stress and negative feelings early on, and it's an almost impossible habit to break. But I know from almost 30 years of experience with depression and years of therapy that hermiting, disassociating, and pushing down negative feelings only leads to getting further pulled down.
So when I notice it happening, I try to do the exact opposite of what my brain and body are wanting to do.
Then once I've allowed myself to actually feel all the feels, I literally shake it off. It's a somatic practice I learned as a teen for dispersing tension and anxiety in the body (i.e. stage nerves before a performance). I'll shake my limbs one at time, my head, my hips, then my whole body all at once as if I'm covered in ants and trying to get away 😅. It's silly and I let it feel silly, but it's also a well proven method of resetting the nervous system balance from fight/flight/freeze to rest.
@tezzy11 Everything I can offer is the wisdom other people have shared with me (like all the great ideas already shared here!), and my own experiences applying them in my life. I am definitely still a work in progress... but what I've learned that works for me: (1) Doing just what you did here, asking for help. I usually think no one is going to want to hear me complain, and that all I have to do is try harder... ignorant to the fact I might need new ideas to find solutions to fix the problems my best thinking created... It took me a long time to learn how to ask for help. (2) Practice gratitude, humility and acceptance... they don't come naturally, and just like any skill or attribute, require practice. (GRATITUDE) I think of, and/or write down 3 things at the end of the day, specific to that day, that I have to be grateful for... (HUMILITY) In the morning, I think about the day ahead, the biggest challenges I'll face, and consider how I can best respond, envisioning better outcomes. Pause when my only solutions could have bad outcomes, and ask for help. When I make mistakes, admit and own them. Talk to someone I trust about how I can fix them. (ACCEPTANCE) I can only control my choices and actions. Spending time dwelling on what everyone else does, or past history, keeps me from being present and doing the next right thing today. Being intentional about what I put in my head before I sleep, and when I wake up, are the foundational principles of every global faith, as well as the science of neuroplasticity. (3) I focus on helping someone. Getting to show up for others, and be of service, gets me out of my own head. If I want self-esteem, I need to undertake estimable acts. (4) Take care of myself: exercise, eat and sleep well, get out and do stuff, cultivate friendships, talk to people. (5) Embrace discomfort: change is hard, practicing things I suck at is difficult, the sweetest victories in my life come from facing and working through the challenging situations. Courage isn't a lack of fear, it's the willingness to face it. (6) Practice patience. For me, I need to remember there are few quick fixes. No matter what I think I know, I still make mistakes, and that is part of being human. I can't learn anything new if I think I already have all the answers, stop asking questions, and am unwilling to listen. The most rewarding results always take time and effort.
Don’t drink alcohol , don’t smoke cigarettes/weed., Face this with a clear head, open mind. Free of pollution.
Whatever you are going through , face it , talk with friends/family/therapist to try to work through it. No shame in talking about your feelings. It’s better to get it out of your system in a healthy way rather than hold it all inside. Your feelings are valid .they are YOUR feelings and not to be compared to others that are dealing with less or worse situations. You matter just as much as anyone else. It’s ok to feel sad, angry, frustrated… let it out. It will help to set the negative feelings free. You matter. You are worthy of happiness, respect and love.
Get outside.... Talk to people. Do exercises. Don't let it consume you . Fake it til you make it. Coubseling if necessary
I enjoy engaging with new people to get new perspectives. I love connecting. It helps me pull myself out of the dark spaces.
Meditation... https://smilingmind.com.au (It's a free app I found the other day, not the one I normally use, but my other one is paid... but the one session I did was ok.
Play a game... (but not like cheap phone games with ads that are all about the dopamine hits)... I mean games that have a really good storyline... one's that I can mentally get into escape.
Along with that... reading... Search for Cozy books... (they're generally kinda chill... nothing stressful or intense...) I just finished reading this series awhile ago, and it was just a cute Sci-Fi story. https://books.apple.com/ca/book/the-long-way-to-a-small-angry-planet/id996107833
Go outside immediately and find someone who needs you.
See a person that needs you. You will know immediately. First use your imagination. Imagine yourself helping this person completely, by giving them what they need. (it doesn't matter what it is) This mental place will rewrite your brain chemistry. Now reach into your pocket, or backpack or purse and go to them. (do only what you can then) The gratitude that you will receive will always be more than you'd expect, because this person may have lost all hope.
This physical gesture may indeed help someone believe in something, humanity, kindness, empathy.
Your dark place is now a memory.
I definitely love the water or a road trip with my favorite music playing. But of course it's different for everyone. Find a hobby you enjoy and block everything else out of possible
I isolate lmao
1) volunteer work - few things can alter your perceptions as fast as helping those less fortunate 2) exercise - physical effort has a way of altering your focus and mood 3) spend time with friends / loved ones ESPECIALLY IN PERSON - generally speaking, being alone makes it harder to alter your mindset
I am there now. I have handled intrusive thoughts and dark times most of my life. But now I am just going to give up and let the ride there course.
Embrace it. Read relentless by Tim Grover.
In the mean time. The 3-3-3 rule works wonders.
I've had a rough couple of weeks recently and honestly the best thing was talking to a friend who genuinely cares about you. I doesnt fix it, but it helps.
In the past, I would just curl up in my bed under some blankets in a dark room. Sometimes you might just need to cry it out. It can feel cathartic.
If you have negative thoughts, try to imagine it is someone you love dearly coming up to you with those thoughts they have. I often find its hard to allow myself grace or moments of rest. But if someone else is in the same situation, I'm quick to comfort.
We are all human. Take a deep breath. You got this.