Difficult conversation

MKultra79MKultra79
in General

Hi guys! Hoping for a little advice. I'm still fairly new to this community and have been Professional since July. My question is, how do I approach the topic of bad body odor with a client? A little backstory... He is a regular. One of my very first clients and one of my absolute favorites. He is a delight and I really do enjoy our sessions. Do to his personal situation his time is very limited so he comes to me straight from work(office) and has to leave promptly when the session is over. I don't wanna hurt his feelings at all because I genuinely really like him.

Comments

  • GroundingLightGroundingLight

    Mami, just casually slide in little comments before hand.
    Like hey, time to freshen up before our sesh can’t wait!
    Or hey, see you soon, I just gotta shower then I’ll head your way.
    Idk just little hot words letting them know what YOURE doing and then maybe they will think to do the same?
    And if they are coming straight from work maybe joke about having deodorant and lotion etc in your car for when your in a rush… but obviously bring it up when it’s not out of pocket…

    Personally I would just joke about it so it’s not a big deal. But I’m naturally a smart ass so I would probably tell them they smell like the office 🤣
    Not in a mean way of course… but sometimes you just gotta rip off the bandaid.
    I would want someone to tell me!
    🤷🏽‍♀️

  • MKultra79MKultra79

    @GroundingLight yes! That's the direction I was thinking about going in. Keeping it casual and light. We joke and laugh so I was hoping to find a way to do it like that. Appreciate you luv ☺️

  • PararoliaPararolia
    edited October 20

    TLDR: Make it a boundary and address it with him tactfully. If he chooses to end sessions because of it, then sadly, there's nothing you can do about that, you may need to work on moving past the situation

    For me, as someone who has an odor after work, I would prefer a tactful notification in person. I think starting with the fact that you two have a history, that he's a delight, and that you really appreciate having him as a cuddle partner would help with soften the blow. It's important in this situation that the rules are followed, and you feel comfortable setting boundaries. A way to phrase it might be "We've been cuddle partners for (x amount of time) and I greatly appreciate the time we spend together. That being said, I need to address the way you show up for sessions. Since it's often immediately after work, your hygiene should be addressed to make the session comfortable for both of us. I've noticed a smell when we cuddle that (insert reaction here) and as much as I appreciate having our time together, I need to set, and maintain this boundary"

    If he decides that he no longer wants to be a cuddle partner, unfortunately that's not something you have control over. If it's a serious enough situation for you to ask for help, then (I feel) it's serious enough to set a boundary for.

    All that being said, I hope you find a solution that works for both of you!

    Wishing you the best,

    Walt

  • GroundingLightGroundingLight

    @MKultra79
    Of course! You got this.. especially if you guys already have that joking vibe going, it will come to you and be easier than you think! 🤗

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    how do I approach the topic of bad body odor with a client?

    I would approach in a hazmat suit.

  • MKultra79MKultra79

    @Pararolia thank you!

    @TheFunCartel lol, it's not that bad 🤣😭

  • Tigerlilly32Tigerlilly32
    edited October 20

    Make it like - you prefer to wash all bad energies away before a session and you require it from clients.
    As outside odors give a bad cuddle experience.

    Kinda like no shoes in the house thing

  • IronicMaidenIronicMaiden

    Simple, succinct, and direct. Maybe start with "I hate to bring this up" to soften it.

  • VibeSeekerVibeSeeker

    Well just say hey you're welcome to shower when you arrive. I have said that before

  • MKultra79MKultra79

    @Tigerlilly32 I really like that! Thank you!

    @IronicMaiden that sounds perfect actually, thank you!

    @VibeSeeker yes! This was exactly the thing I was gonna suggest! Thank you!

  • SweetCuddler33SweetCuddler33

    Perhaps, he will see this post and take the hint. 😕

  • ProfHermesProfHermes

    Offering to allow him to shower and not count that time against him, as long as you are ok with it and he's not in a hurry to leave.

  • SweetCuddler33SweetCuddler33

    I let my cuddle friends know that I will be freshly showered and appropriately dressed before meeting for our cuddle session. 🤗 . I mention that I expect/appreciate they do the same.

  • StagSpiritStagSpirit

    Yeah I understand that his time is limited, but he's gotta be clean, there's no room for anything less in my book.

    Idk how other guys do it, but personally I care deeply about how my pros feel throughout the session. I wash my bedsheets, cuddle clothes, clean my bathroom, room spray, mop my floor, turn on my air purifier, shower, wash my hair, wear some nice smelling body butter, usual hygiene protocols... and trust me, they love doing sessions with me.

    It's just... in my mind, there's no other way. I find it embarrassing and disgusting to have to subject them to a stanky environment.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    Sometimes a shower won’t help because body chemistry reacts to some types of food and a diet that doesn’t change. It can cause a really strong unpleasant body odor and 10 showers a day won’t help.

  • SweetCuddler33SweetCuddler33

    Offer him Chlorophyll supplements and water .

  • PararoliaPararolia

    Glad I could help! I hope you find something that works!

  • AtrueOGAtrueOG

    If you are hosting offer to let him shower first. On a motel, ask him to shower first. Or do him a favor and say something to him, he probably doesn't know how he smells.

  • MelNYCMelNYC

    I think the kindest thing you can do is be direct. You don’t have to make it a big deal or turn it into an uncomfortable conversation, but I wouldn’t rely on hints and hope he picks up on them. He may be completely unaware of the issue, and subtle comments could easily go over his head.

    I also think being direct is a form of respect. You’re treating him like an adult who can handle a potentially uncomfortable conversation rather than making him decipher hints. You can be straightforward while still being warm and considerate of his feelings.

    I’d probably say something like, “Hey, I wanted to mention something quickly because I really enjoy our sessions and want us both to feel comfortable. I’ve noticed that sometimes when you come straight from work, there’s a bit of body odor. I know you’re coming from a full day at the office, so I completely understand! Would you mind freshening up a little before our sessions? I really appreciate it.”

    Then move on! No need to apologize profusely, overexplain, or make it into a bigger conversation than it needs to be. A little moment of awkwardness is better than letting an easily fixable issue become an ongoing source of discomfort.

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery

    If you search the forums for "body odor" and similar keywords, you'll find this comes up a lot. A few I picked out that may be relevant/helpful:

    https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/25954/showering-beforehand/p1

    https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/25066/body-odor

    https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/22119/bad-hygiene-polite-way-of-letting-cuddler-know/p1

  • SlimBrown62SlimBrown62

    ATrueOg…you are probably correct, he doesn’t know. I had this issue with a coworker. Once told he fixed the issue. He simply was not washing his clothes.

  • Csh4CudzCsh4Cudz

    I think these are all good suggestions from their respective perspectives. However, I look at things a bit differently. I feel like we should strive to be as accepting as possible of each other's differences. He may have an issue with body odor regardless of how recently he showers, his odor may be something most don't mind and it's more of a you thing, he may find it awkward to shower at your place or right before meeting you. I just feel like we should try to keep all possibilities in mind and not rush to judgement. But that's just me. Also, this is a service profession. Fussiness could not only cost you his business but other potential clients who might feel like going with someone who is more tolerant. If I were to say anything to him, I would stress that you have a very sensitive sense of smell as to make him feel like it's not his issue.

  • amitjanamitjan

    Try to give him native deodorant as a gift 🎉 anyways holidays are near

  • supadupasupadupa

    Just state on your profile you would like people to be freshly showered before meeting. Also to please use deodorant, no garlic, onions or coffee that day. Floss and mouthwash.
    And bring or be in clean clothes. If it’s on your pfeofile you tin need to being it up. But if they didn’t bother doing any of those things just ask them to do so and if they refuse just leave. No need to put up with BO the same way you wouldn’t put up with any uncomfortable situation.

  • ksb30ksb30
    edited October 23

    Just tell them but be nice , I hate to be like this but god i love a direct person nowadays.