I am completely judgement free and being married doesn’t make a difference for me. I have been fortunate enough that my married clients have been completely respectful cuddlers. I think it’s a healthy way of exercising the touch one needs without cheating sexually. ❤️❤️
There seems to mainly be two sides here. One side is "to each their own (but be honest)". The other side wants to impose their own personal morals on other people.
I've been fortunate to have an amazing regular who is married. We are actually very comfortably quiet and the fact that he's married doesn't come up.I only know because it's on his profile. He has always been extremely respectful of my boundaries , and as far as I know , may have a few of his own.
Comparing cuddling to getting a massage for the purpose of this discussion is largely a false equivalency. Our society has moved towards generally not viewing massage (aka getting one's nude body touched by a professional for the purpose of pain relief/relaxation) as something only acceptable within the confines of a romantic/sexual relationship. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said about cuddling - the vast majority of our society still views cuddling as something that is only acceptable and expected between people in a romantic/sexual relationship. Until society views platonic cuddling the same way as massage, the majority of people are likely to view cuddling as cheating, just as getting a massage used to be viewed as cheating.
On an individual level, everyone has their own boundaries on what they feel is betrayal withing their relationship, and unless they have frequent in-depth discussions with their partner(s) on what those boundaries are, it's not uncommon for people within a relationship to not be on the same page. One person may view kissing as cheating, one may consider any physical contact, another may consider emotional intimacy. But again, right now the majority of people are going to consider the physical and potentially emotional intimacy of platonic cuddling to be cheating. So for all our ideals of being non-judgemental, the reality is that we do not know whether there is another person being harmed by our cuddle partner engaging with us.
And that is where each of us has to decide our own comfort level on that risk of potentially being party to harming someone else's partner. Some will view it akin to a "don't ask, don't tell" policy - if they don't know the context, it's not their problem. Others may view it as "the cheater is the only one at fault", and absolve themselves of any responsibility. And still others prefer that everyone potentially impacted have fully informed consent.
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