When do I throw in the towel?

[Deleted User]xdriver60 (deleted user)
in General

So, Ive been on this site since Mar 2017. I have had zero luck finding a cuddle partner. Due to disabilitys I'd rather not drive more than 50 miles but Ive looked up to 80 miles away from me. There are very few cuddlers in my area so Im sure that has almost everything to do with it. Im also 62 years old and that seems to be a huge problem also. I kinda understand the age thing. Older guys are mostly viewed as creepers and thats kinda sad. I suppose theres nothing that can be said or done about that. Same with being in a mostly rural area. No intrest in cuddling around here. Maybe someone with more interweb knowlage than I have should start an older folks cuddling site? Or whoever owns this one might want to think about opening a seniors only cuddling site, say for those of us over 50 or 55. Just an idea. Thanks for reading.

«13

Comments

  • cease2existcease2exist

    You throw in the towel exactly when you're ready. If you want to keep holding out hope, though, you do it until you can't.

  • mickcuddlemickcuddle

    @xdriver60 I’m 69 years old, and I agree that age is a factor in finding cuddle partners. That is another aspect of CuddleComfort that parallels many dating/hookup sites. I noticed a drastic change when that first digit in my age went from 5 to 6. I’ll be 70 next June, but I don’t expect much of a change in the cuddler interest in that it is within 1 standard deviation of 0 right now ?. I have had one cuddle partner from this site, making it all worth being patient. But that partner lives 1000 miles from me, so the chances of a repeat are minimal, the chance of becoming a regular cuddle buddy, very, very close to 0. On the other hand, I check the forums almost every day, and join in when the spirit moves me. Through that participation, I’ve picked up a handful of regular and irregular message buddies whose attention and friendship I value. @driver60, I guess I’d ask you, with no cost to join and continue, what do you gain by throwing in the towel? Just as lightning does strike where it will, a cuddle buddy might just find you. She won’t find you if you’ve completely thrown in the towel!

  • KempistKempist

    Are you talking about giving up on pros or non pros? I gave up on non pros. It's even difficult to find pros on this website. I much more preferred the snuggle buddy site where it was set up through a third party. I even had better luck on cuddlist but there aren't many on there. I'm not really one for fake and empty texting back and forth with someone I've never met. I prefer it all business until I meet.

  • [Deleted User]xdriver60 (deleted user)

    ceasetoexist. I know.
    mickcuddle 1000 miles is not gonna happen. I understand the wait and see what happens aspect of it all, but please understand I am in a rural area. There is no interest here in cuddling. Almost every profile is old and the person hasnt been active in months. Thank you for your advice though
    snugbubby. non pros, I am on disability so affording a pro is not possible, plus there are no pros in my area.

  • pmvinespmvines

    @xdriver60 Have you considered looking at other sites, like date sites or meet up, facebook groups, etc? I have met several folks on other non cuddle sites who were interested in the same. Also I have heard that fetlife has a platonic cuddle following as well. And you had mentioned before that you are a naturist, I seem to recall. Do you have a naturist community to reach out to who might be like minded re cuddling? Sometimes simply connecting with somebody who you have something in common with can at least open the door to exploring the cuddle thing...

  • [Deleted User]xdriver60 (deleted user)

    pmvines. Yes I have. Im on tinder gold, waste of money. Over 2 years and not even one match. I think tinder is more for the younger crowd.
    Adult friend finder gold member for over 2 years. Lots of flakes never anything solid. Facebook groups are ripe with scammers. One local nudist group but Im a new guy so nothing there yet. Theres lots of talk but when its comes down to a meet, thats when they disappear. I even tried a sugar baby sugar daddy dating site. Lots of fakes flakes and scammers there. So in 2 years times Ive figured its either me, my presentaion, my age or the area I live in. Ive never heard of fetlife but I'll take a look right now. Thanks for the input.

  • UniverseManUniverseMan

    I'm 38 in a major city and I've never met anyone from this site.

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited December 2018

    In regards to age, I think another issue is the fear of judgement. İn case others know you are hanging out with someone younger - which neighbors, etc. are likely to notice. Then there can be that discomfort, as well. İt is what it is. That's not to say there are no a few or so ladies/ that don't mind/are able to proceed.

    Just a tip or two I can contribute:

    İt doesn't have to be all or nothing. You can always take a break and check back after sometime to try again. Whether you are able to find pros or non-pros. Whatever may be. Though, taking a break when needed I find to be important! İt might seem like: "I am just on the site, doing nothing." Though, I think we are still doing things... when here we have hope, going through emotions, and our focus on finding a connection. So taking a break helps me. Likewise, redirecting my attention on other things that bring me some joy. Like learning, going out some, working towards whatever goals I set myself for. Then checking back. İt brings me some joy to even come back here and check back on the forums, as well. ?

  • casuenocasueno

    I agree with Lovelight. Taking breaks is part of good self care. I encourage you to send a message...they will get it even if they havent recently checked back

  • CNYMikeCNYMike

    I'm 54. I joined this site in 2014 and again, no luck at all. I am not sure how much of this is because of my age and how much is because cuddlers are simply few and far between in our culture. But I still love the concept of a cuddle buddy and I am not ready to throw in the towel yet. It's an individual decision.

  • KempistKempist

    If possible you all are going to have to pay a pro If you want to cuddle. You might wait forever to find a non pro. Even with pros there is no guarantee you'll find someone. I've had a few days and times set up and when I texted back to confirm got no response. Not even an explanation why weren't meeting. I really miss the snuggle buddy website where it was almost guaranteed to be able to cuddle with almost anyone I wanted to on there. None of this back and forth nonsense an then all of a sudden the texting just stops even after an appointment is agreed upon. There is a reliable one on here who responds and never backs out but unfortunately she's a bit far away from me.

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    Agree with everything said. Unfortunately, there is a reason pros are needed right now. People who refuse to see a pro are in for a long wait :-( I know it's tough for many to afford also... Some might offer a sliding scale. Even with pros, it's tough to find a good one. Overall, it's just tough... :-(

  • UKGuyUKGuy
    edited December 2018

    It's not tough for 'people'. It's only tough for men. Judging by the number of messages they report receiving, it's certainly not tough for women to find a non-pro cuddle partner on this site, unless they live in the middle of nowhere.

  • mickcuddlemickcuddle

    @UKGuy It is tough for women, just in a different way. It’s not just this site, but in our society. Yes, women can find cuddle partners or sex partners easily. But they have so much stronger of a need to sort through those who would partner, to find one who is sincere, and safe. The statistics on the proportion of women in our society who have experienced sexual assault are startling. It happens to men as well but in drastically smaller numbers. While we are there, the stats on assault against our transgender sisters and brothers are blinding.

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    Agree with @mickcuddle . I have a female client. She tried male non-pros first. Ended up with me in the end. It's tough for everyone. Just in different ways.

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    Our society has a lot of healing to do before it will be "easy" for many people.

  • UKGuyUKGuy

    @mickcuddle - men have the same concerns regarding finding a sincere and safe partner as women do.

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    @UKGuy I think the response was in response to you saying women have it easy because they get lots of messages. That implies that's the only reason it's difficult for men, that they don't...

  • alaric1805alaric1805

    @snugbuddy I think that Snuggle Buddy site is still going, or at least was when I checked a few weeks ago. I have also seen 3 pros from the Cuddlist website and they have all been really professional/conscientious when it came to setting up appointments.

    As for xdriver60's original question, I more or less gave up on meeting non pro here (or any place) years ago. Not as one would wish it, but the way it is, unfortunately.

  • [Deleted User]SoulcuddlerZ (deleted user)

    The thing about it is that with non-pros [or enthusiasts], Any non-pro you have the privilege of meeting will want to meet with you just because. It could be that they like something about your demeanor, your conversation brought them comfort, etc.

    Pros here are offering a service. They're filling a need for affection that for many who would otherwise not receive it. Some of them will be very genuine about the experience that they provide to their clients. Others will join believing that it's quick money, only to then realize that they're not cut out for it. I've seen a few pros join this site in NY, only to ultimately delete their accounts for various reasons.

    @xdriver60 It is unfortunate that you haven't had the privilege of cuddling with a non-pro here. Unfortunately, many of us will say the same. All I can say is that I wish you the best of luck in your search for affection, and i hope you receive it soon!

  • HugCuddleHugCuddle
    edited December 2018

    .

  • happyhappycuddlhappyhappycuddl

    This site is full of snobby women, who think they are better than they are.

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    There is some of that...

  • DutchBoyDutchBoy

    Age 69 here. Look and think younger, but money talks, bs walks. Had awesome repeat experiences with two Pros, aged 32 and 45. Repeated, all in first month. Not many options , even in suburban Detroit. Nearly every appealing profile has been dead for months

  • HappinessHenryHappinessHenry

    Concur with UniverseMan. I think like many things on the Internet this site is not for real - unless you want to pay people for the privilege, OF COURSE.

  • OhioMikeOhioMike

    Realistically, I'm going to agree with those who want to throw in the towel and give up here. Realistically, if you have been here a few days to a few months, have filters if not many filters on who, when, where, and how to cuddle, and can't connect quickly enough, then throw in the towel.. if the above are the expectations for this site to work then a person will be frustrated and probably miserable and should throw in the towel. I understand the frustrations here. It seems it's posted daily sometimes on these forums. I wish it was easier for everyone including me. I have been here 2 +years and I know this site is real, I know there are real and wonderful people here. It took time and patience and effort to connect with them. Speaking for me personally if I didn't take the time, patience, and effort starting back 2 years ago, I would have given up. I'm sorry if this is not what people want to read. I wish everyone well.

  • pmvinespmvines

    If any sort of extra curricular activity frustrates to the point of distress, maybe taking a break to re evaluate and refocus your energiies could be a good thing...

  • mickcuddlemickcuddle

    @DutchBoy I’m also aged 69, 70 in a few months. Toss in that I’m gay, and overweight. I don’t get many contacts. Must have been something I posted, I had about a dozen profile views yesterday. None of those even left a message. I had one cuddle from this site. That person was subsequently banned for some reason not seen in my contact with them. I enjoy the forum section, though I find some of it tedious, most posts are from kind and caring members. I even count a few of them as friends. If it were based on my chances of finding a non-pro cuddle again, I’d toss in the towel too.

  • OhioMikeOhioMike

    @mickcuddle, do you take the initiative to say hey, when someone visits your profile? I get visited also and try to say hi or thank you for visiting, etc. Just a thought. Oh and I just visited you lol!

  • mickcuddlemickcuddle

    @OhioMike i do that sometimes. I usually look at their profile, where they live, cuddle preferences, and if anything in the self description that hits a chord with me. Or someone who looks at me twice over a short period of time might get a greeting.

Sign In or Register to comment.