Good Karma

MKultra79MKultra79
in General

I'm still fairly new to this, having joined in July and the biggest thing that I've had a hard time understanding and accepting is that, it doesn't matter if someone is rated 5 stars with hella good karma... There are some that will still be disrespectful and try to violate rules about keeping it platonic. When this happens I'm always like, WTF is wrong with ME that they can "behave" and be an enjoyable person but they get to me and act like a DH. 😞🥺

Comments

  • jmdankjmdank

    I find it odd that you think "WTF is wrong with ME", being a man I think a lot of men think building a connection with women is a good way to slowly escalate things, also since they're using a cuddling service they probably have very few opportunities otherwise and it's probably easy to convince themselves that why not take a chance/shot, IDK what is the best solution, it's kind of like mixed signals because they are getting positive feedback with cuddling and possibly kindness.

  • BarbadosPearlBarbadosPearl

    There is nothing wrong with you @MKultra79 . As for why they have good ratings and yet ask for things the site doesnt allow... I would only be guessing.
    Hugs.

  • JessAZJessAZ

    @MKultra79 I wish I had the answer for you. Just know that you are not alone - I've wondered the same thing. It has had me disillusioned and almost getting off the site in the past. But I've stuck it out.
    This happening constantly certainly does make me not put too much stock into a guy having tons of karma, or good ones even.
    Tbh, on the other end of things, I have never left someone a bad karma. I always leave good, and if it was bad I just don't leave it at all. So maybe other women are doing the same. Almost everyone has only good karma listed.

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @MKultra79 posted: "I'm always like, WTF is wrong with ME that they can "behave" and be an enjoyable person but they get to me and act like a DH."

    It's possible they've acted like this before, and other women have failed to report them or leave accurate Karma.

    It's possible they perceive you as a victim. The mere fact that you ask what's wrong with you, as opposed to them, shows you are someone prone to self-blame...they can smell that in the water, I suppose.

    Nothing is wrong with you. Something is wrong with them. All we can do is try to sniff them out as early as possible, and avoid.

    Karma is one of many indicators. There are multiple threads discussing how broken the system is, and how misused it is.

    I mostly use Karma to determine if someone has actually met people in the flesh...to simply determine if they've dipped into cuddling for real, or are only kicking tires.

    I also utilize it to see what kinds of people they've been meeting... Have they met eight Pro's inside two months who all look like strippers? Have they only cuddled a certain "type"? Have they cuddled with other men? With enthusiasts? With average-looking people? People tell on themselves inadvertently by those they choose to cuddle, or not cuddle.

    That said, a person's demeanor on this message board, and the questions they ask me in PM, are significantly more indicative of their true nature and intentions, than Karma, in my opinion.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

  • mauvefoxmauvefox

    5 stars does not mean that they are a good cuddle buddy or that they stayed appropriate. It only means someone lived to give karma. Tells you something but not the whole story.

    My strong suspicion is that they have not been appropriate with others but others gave them 5 stars anyway.

  • JohnR1972JohnR1972
    edited November 12

    Karma is far from a guarantee someone is safe but I do think it has some value if you read it carefully.

    Years ago when I was a hiring manager for quality engineers, I had to call references for people I was considering hiring. There are 2 big problems with candidate provided references…

    1) they are selected by the candidate so they are likely to be the most favorable people he/she can find and 2) HR departments drill it into the heads of managers that you cannot say ANYTHING negative about a former employee because that creates legal liability for the company.

    Knowing it is extremely unlikely a former boss is going to say, “yeah I fired Tim because he was sexually harassing Stacy”, I learned to “listen for what was not said.”

    Imagine if the former manager only says, “Yeah, Tim worked for me from 2015 to 2017 and he was always on time for work”. That is “positive” but pretty underwhelming. If the boss doesn’t comment on Tim’s other qualities, that is AT LEAST an orange flag in my mind.

    I think the same applies to karma on this site. “Great cuddler, look forward to seeing him/her again” is a positive review but it really doesn’t say much. I have been blessed by sharing time and cuddles with some truly wonderful cuddlers, both pro and enthusiasts, who have left very detailed karma for me.

  • Mike403Mike403

    Bad karma shouldn't be a thing here. If somebody behaves inappropriately, they shouldn't even be on the site at all.

  • 123SunnySide123SunnySide

    With all these karma shenanigans going on we may have to call the karma police!

  • Goonie4lifeGoonie4life

    Please report the bad actors and leave appropriate karma when needed

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @Mike403 posted: "Bad karma shouldn't be a thing here. If somebody behaves inappropriately, they shouldn't even be on the site at all."

    That is built on the premise that non-platonic actions are the only thing affecting Karma.

    It's more nuanced than that. Were they late? Were they dismissive? Were they selfish? Were they uncomfortable to be around? Were they showered? Were they entitled?

    I don't leave less than five stars lightly, but there are times it's warranted and informative for the next person, without being a bannable offense.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles