General feelings about guys’ profiles??

b_link121b_link121
in General

Hello! I’m new to the site and it seems like a wonderful, too-good-to-be-true kind of thing so I am super excited! But I am also concerned cause I’m a guy... and I really only feel comfortable with cuddling with girls. And I feel worried that no one will trust me or message me. How do you all (mostly the women) feel about men’s profiles? Do you think there are just too many creeper types out there to be able to trust anyone?

Comments

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited December 2018

    Your profile description could use a little help. Though it seems good. I think getting to know each other and being on friendly terms is a good way to start. Both your comfort matters and checking in with each other. :)

    Edit: I have a tendency to jump to the point. lol. Hello and welcome. ?

  • TouchIsTLCTouchIsTLC

    Curious about the same thing as the OP...

    I think my profile is pretty complete, open, sincere, yet I don't get a lot of replies to my hello, hi, how are yous...

    I've even starting talking to pros considering some cuddles that route, one for the experience and two for the positive karma. Some of them seem to reply, but then don't follow up - not sure of my naive and newbie like questions are an issue or that they are just too busy/too many messages to address my lengthy questions and replies.

  • TouchIsTLCTouchIsTLC

    Oh, forgot to mention - I often send a pic with the message or invite them to ask, so I'm not coming across as pushy

  • LovelightLovelight

    Some patience could probably help since you are both new.

  • TouchIsTLCTouchIsTLC

    @Lovelight any thoughts or suggestions on my profile?

  • CaringSoulCaringSoul
    edited December 2018

    @b_link121 & @TouchIsTLC I'm a pro cuddler from NY & both of your profiles are good & I would cuddle with you guys if you're near me or planning on visiting NYC in the future. Be patient & soon you will find your cuddle buddy.

  • TouchIsTLCTouchIsTLC

    Thank you @CaringSoul!

  • CaringSoulCaringSoul

    @TouchIsTLC you're welcome ?.

  • b_link121b_link121

    Thanks for all the thoughtful comments. I am also intrested what suggestions you have to make my profile feel more genuine and caring and tender and trustworthy. I have so much empathy and emotion to give and to share, and I have so much pain that I need rest from. I feel like I’m starving. I’m so desperate to be close to others and it’s so hard for me in the real world. I just want to share serenity and warmth... it’s so difficult...

  • cuddleversedcuddleversed

    Truth is men outnumber women on the site and anytime a new non pro joins the site she gets inundated with messages sometimes to the point that they just quit the site shortly after and others see it as an opportunity to become a pro and make some money.
    So this discussion has been had before and to be able to make a connection has become a lot more difficult than it was a year ago or before then for that matter.
    It takes a lot of patience to try and engage somebody and to get to the point where a rapport has been built and they trust you enough to want to cuddle with you.
    I’ve had many conversations in the past year with non pros and not one led to a cuddle so at this point I may shoot a message here and there but paying for a pro seems to be the only way to get a cuddle anymore on the site and even pros don’t always answer so even if you’re willing to pay doesn’t mean you’ll get a session.
    So patience, patience and more patience and maybe something will happen.

  • b_link121b_link121

    :( It’s so sad that that is the case... but it makes sense I guess. Thank you for your frank explanation.

  • ColouredCrayonsColouredCrayons

    If you haven't checked the FAQ sticky it's a good place to start. They cover a little about what to put into a profile and what people are looking for.

  • [Deleted User]chococuddles (deleted user)

    Prepare to become dust bunnies like the rest of us.

    hugs

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited December 2018

    ?

    @TouchIsTLC just the little bits we spoke about.

    @cuddleversed true, I am hopeful things will get better.

    @LeeS that's helpful!

    @b_link121 I can send you sometime an edited version of your profile. You can see what you like about and what you might want to change around.

    Generally speaking...

    Your profile could use a bit more organization, better word choices and a friendly opening eg. Hello/Hi.

    As a good general way to help polish up one's writing it's good to follow this:

    • the word "very" and "so" are best to avoid or use sparingly. Often times it's good to go without them. Or opt for stronger words.

    For example:

    "I am a kind... person." Not: "I am a very kind person... or I am so kind... etc."

    Helpful resources:

    Also:

    https://www.proofreadingservices.com/pages/very

    Not so good writing/order: I am this... I ...am that... I like that... I I I I and so on.

    • once or twice is okay. Though, more than that is better to avoid the repetition of words. Or change the order in which we write/speak.

    Good example:

    "I am a kind and thoughtful extravert. My hobbies are playing sports and listening to music. İ find cuddling to be relaxing and uplifting.

    Feel at ease to contact me. I'd be happy to hear from you and get to know each other."

  • [Deleted User]SweetPeaMN (deleted user)

    Alright, before commenting let me say I havent visited either of your profiles but a few things off the top of my head. This ISN'T a dating site and even though the intial setup questions FEEL like you're signing up for a dating site your not. Period. No fast anything on this one. Nothing.

    Friends or friendly/comfortable only non sexual cuddles.

    If you are basing your requests on a womans profile pictures or her pictures in general don't expect much response if you're hunting for less than 35 and an advertised figure. She's already got Waaaay more attention then she wants so she won't respond. I don't have a picture of myself at all yet I get at least three new requests a day telling me he just cant be bothered to READ my bio so why should I bother to respond?

    If you do choose to respond to a chick that states clearly no new requests then you better have a good angle and in that opening email prove that you read everything on her profile and how you are so alike that you wanted to say hi anyway.

    I'm older and work full time plus have a life so I'm not really sure why I still get so many requests daily, but if he's taken a minute to respond with more that 4 words, can prove in his message that he read my stuff he may stand a chance at a response. But generally older women will have less interest then younger and may also have a bit more experience so you actually have a chance to understand what a true non sexual cuddle really is.

    But basically, start with a chat and see if she'll respond, if she does half the battle is already won. In my instance, I have enough cuddlers atm but if a guy wants to chat I will as long as he can hold up a conversation. Then if one drops out or if I get creeped out for some reason and there's an opening I'll reach out to the dude who's been taking the time to converse with me first before removing the no new messages line. Like for instance @torelax has been doggedly trying & trying to chat with me and hopefully get a cuddle so if I have someone drop out he'd be the first one I ask because I'm already comfy with him....well, I would be by that point.

  • PeopleLikeUsPeopleLikeUs

    Someone once said to me "You will only attract to yourself, someone who approximates the level of emotional, psychological and mental growth that you yourself possess."

    This is what I'm reading on your profile:
    I avoid conflict.
    I'm kind.
    I'm introverted.
    I feel disconnected.
    I feel unsure.
    I have long-term depression.
    I'm lonely.
    I need another person to feel safe, warm and blissful.
    I want a platonic experience.
    I want to feel safe and comfortable.
    I want you to feel safe and comfortable.

    A few of these are easy to turn around, like: I am motivated by peace and kindness. I value my time alone and feel humbled by the idea of physical closeness with someone. I can be introspective and melancholy.

    Those are my words but maybe you can see where I'm going. My first profile was bare bones like yours. I kept rewriting it and over time created a better profile page that has led to coffee houses. With me, live interaction is the easy part. I am a talkative extrovert who likes winning people over. I am assuming you are good at interviewing since you landed a good job in a competitive field?

    Hope that helps.
    PeopleLikeUs.

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    @PeopleLikeUs: Ooh, ooh. Summarize mine?

  • b_link121b_link121

    Wow. So much good input! Haha. Thank you very much @Lovelight @SweetPeaMN @PeopleLikeUs . I’ll try to work on those points! :)

  • 4cuddles4cuddles

    @PeopleLikeUs nice profile name!

  • RyanLadRyanLad

    I think your profile is fine. Better than mine at least. If a girl doesn’t contact you because they don’t like your profile then they’re probably not worth your time.

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited December 2018

    @RyanLad it's not so much about "I want girls/guys to like my profile."

    Most of it is just improving ourselves in various areas of our lives. Our speaking, writing, the way we present ourselves... all included. Sometimes, we've a wonderful profile, though not written as well as it could be. Or we've a well written profile that has nothing to do with the subject at hand. Or doesn't cover key areas, such as: what we are like/ our personality, hobbies, etc. The ways in which we communicate our needs and wants can make a difference. We can all use improvements from time to time, there's no shame in it. I once communicated my needs elsewhere so terribly and had someone directly say so. They weren't insulting or anything. As someone who's cool with direct communication, I really appreciated that and said, I gotta improve! ?

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited December 2018

    :)

    @b_link121 no problem. ? @SweetPeaMN those are good points. Though, as a young person myself, I am clear on what I am here for and have respect for others. So, I say go by the individual not just by the age group in hopes that they'll be more this or less that.

    @PeopleLikeUs that's a nice feedback. It's what OP's conveying, I read similarly.

    Do you know the citation for that quote?

    • Hopefully, I managed to include some of all our efforts. OP, you can decide whatever you like best. I noticed, since we last spoke, you have improved and added a lot of good stuff. So, I took that into consideration, as well.

    Before Edits:

    " Hello fellow cuddlers! My name is Matthew.

    A bit about myself: I love nature and animals and I am drawn to those who are warm, peaceable, and kind. My personality type is INFP (for those of you who are into Myers-Briggs) and I am most content when I am able to share a warm, safe connection with someone in a peaceful setting. To me it feels like coming back from a long cold journey in winter and sitting by a fireplace wrapped in a blanket with a cup of hot chocolate and a dear friend with me.

    I fount this site quite recently and I decided to try it out. I am NOT looking for someone to date here and I am NOT looking for anything sexual. I hope to meet some really nice, genuine people and to receive and give a caring, empthetic, upbuilding experience. I’m hoping for some laughter and I’m hoping for some tears. I think all of us here just want to connect and find others to share the joys and pains of the human experience with.

    We all need reassurance, consolation, friendship, trust, and love, and I find cuddling to be one of the safest, warmest, most blissful ways to meet those needs. Please message me if you feel that we could connect and be new friends! I’m happy to chat through here and hopefully find people to share the joy of cuddling with! "

    After Edits:

    " Hello fellow Cuddlers! My name is Matthew. I am an introvert with a love for nature and animals. I have a tendency to be: introspective, empathic and thoughtful. My personality type: INFP (Myers-Briggs Personality type). I value mutual respect, reassurance, and comfort.

    Cuddling to me feels like: sitting by a fireplace, wrapped in a warm blanket while having a cup of hot chocolate. In short, cuddling feels AMAZING to me. As a result, I hope to find considerate people, to share that joyous and uplifting experience with.

    I am happy to hear from you and will respond as soon as possible. :) "

  • UKGuyUKGuy

    In my experience, profiles or what you say in them doesn't make much difference. The idea that you can somehow change a few words here and there and then suddenly you will appeal to women, is a fantasy. Plenty of women have nothing or next to nothing in their profiles and they get hundreds of messages. It's all based on the imbalance of male to female members. There are vastly more men looking for women that women looking for men.

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited December 2018

    @UKGuy sure, there's a disproportion. Not everyone will be able to find someone. For some, it might take long to form a good connection.

    Though, what we say and how we present ourselves does help!

    I feel* more enthusiastic and at ease when responding to people with: decent, relevant and friendly descriptions.

    İf people that contact me also include their hobbies and give an idea of their personality: it gives something to relate with or at least talk about, if we differ. Plus, these tips can help us in other areas of our lives, as well. ?

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