Option to add whether you're looking for amateurs or pros

[Deleted User]Keira (deleted user)
in General

Can amateur cuddlers have an option to add whether they're open to professional cuddlers or whether they're looking for other amateur cuddlers only? As a professional cuddler, It would be a lot easier if I knew who was and wasn't open to receiving a message from me. I feel like I'm a bit of a bother when I message people that are looking for other amateurs only.

  1. Would you like to see this added to your profile?38 votes
    1. Yes, it would make things easier
      71.05%
    2. No, leave it how it is now
      28.95%

Comments

  • mickcuddlemickcuddle

    It is none of anybody’s business whether I seek one or the other. I think if I communicate with a potential cuddle partner, that person should expect to get some history on my cuddle comfort history, but in the meantime, who needs that information?

  • [Deleted User]SoulcuddlerZ (deleted user)

    @Keira I would say that it is good for non-professional users to have that option, but they shouldn’t be forced to use it. It can be quite the complicated scenario given the various cuddlers among us.

    On my first account (deleted), there was one professional cuddler who was very outgoing and could have been judged as aggressive in her reaching out to potential clients. To this day, she is the only professional cuddler with whom I had no prior contact to reach out to me starting with a friend request. While she is no longer among us as of December 2017, I still keep a friendship with her to this day. That’s just an example of the many different scenarios that may unfold for various people.

  • CUD_maleCUD_male

    On search function I can search for pros only, amateurs only or both ;) handy way to look up ppl..
    I don't see option on profile to say who I'd like to contact me ;( I'd prefer both to reach out to me..
    useful option that only those I like to contact me, can send msg to cut down on unwanted mailing

  • Cuddler97230Cuddler97230

    You can state your desires of non-pros only in your "About Me" section. I have seen profiles that state things such as do not contact me if you smoke, not within 50 miles, etc.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    If you have too many do not contact mes you become the cuddle version of Steve Martin’s weight guesser explaining which prizes you can win in “The Jerk”.

  • UKGuyUKGuy
    edited February 2019

    In my opinion, pros should not contact potential clients unless the potential client has first expressed an interest in them. And visiting their profile alone does not imply an interest. There is already a 'search' feature whereby potential clients can find a pro. There are a whole host of reasons why a potential client might not be interested in a given pro, such as the pro cannot host, they are too far away, their hourly rate is unaffordable etc. So my advice would be to wait until potential clients contact you, then you know they have some interest. I would not be averse to a pro who lives in some other state messaging me to say they are going to be in my area.

  • SideonSideon

    I agree with the options already available: non pros can search for "pros only;" include a statement in one's personal profile; and there is the Professional Cuddling forum option expressly for pros to post.

    My vote is leave-it-as-is.

  • BabichevBabichev

    I agree with @UKGuy that I don't think it's a good idea for pros to reach out to non-pros for the purpose of trying to get business. I would find that off-putting. It's easy enough for people who are interested to find pros.

  • cuddleLuvvercuddleLuvver
    edited February 2019

    It's been on my to-do list to make the same feature request. Should it be mandatory? Obviously not… just as with most elements of one's profile. But an option, as OP proposed? Why not? If you don't like it, don't use it on your profile.

    I don't understand what the objection is to others having the option. You're not the one receiving the solicitations I receive and feeling the letdown when it's more unsolicited business. Now imagine the luckless who only ever get pro solicitations. That red new-message menu button outline, to some, just means more disappointment. And it's apparent some pros would appreciate the social navigational cue. Reduced awkwardness/​anxiety, disappointment, and wasted effort — win/​win/​win, nobody loses.

    Why should you advise others to reinvent the wheel, cluttering up their "About me," and make countless later visitors then parse that prose over and over? All of the fields listed under "Facts" could be written out in one's bio. Location, age range (which is listed under "Facts"), and unsolicited contact from pros are probably the most significant criteria to many members. To the contrary, the unusual case where you positively invite transactional solicitations would be the more worthy candidate for rolling your own solution. But the same simple 'Fact' could take care of all: Pros may / may not contact me / <leave blank>.

    This is not about dissing pros. I love my pros! It's about individual comfort with and concern for others' intimate vulnerability.
    ​

    I think the only valid objection would be that it clutters up the UI further, but that's Mark's call to make. Don't tut-tut enthusiasts and pros alike who are working to negotiate social overtures that don't register on your radar.

    If it comes down to a matter of UI bloat, here are some places to economise: don't even display Can be, Preferred Days, or Preferred Times when all their respective options are selected, which is a pretty common case. And Preferred Days could automatically collapse consecutive days into a range (like Tue – Sun) instead of listing out every day, and likewise with Preferred Times (e.g. Afternoon – Night). There, I just reduced your cognitive load.

  • garrablancagarrablanca
    edited February 2019

    =)

  • pmvinespmvines

    Re being contacted by paid cuddlers, i dont really mind because i see it as an opportunity to get to know somebody new. Some of my closest friends on this site are paid cuddlers. I was just contacted by one recently. I just told her she seems really cool and my loss i am sure but that i dont do the pay to cuddle thing but would love to get to know some more things about her. Not that big a deal as we could all use more good folks in our lives.

  • cuddlerforu24cuddlerforu24
    edited February 2019

    I dont mind

  • mickcuddlemickcuddle

    I was contacted last spring by a pro who was planning a several- week road trip with stops all over, attempting to set up as many paid cuddle sessions as she could. The first contact was to ask me where in the Chicago suburbs might be a good hotel choice. No harm, I gave that advice. Next she approached me about setting up a session, and I told her that I don’t use pros. She returned with a non specific offer that she could make some price consideration for a senior living on a fixed income. Fair enough, though as I said, the discounted rate was never quoted. No matter, I reinforced that I don’t use pros. I just don’t. She contacted me again twice, once shortly before her arrival in the area, and once when she had already checked into a hotel in suburban Chicago, with days and times she had openings. At this point, she was being a pest.
    But that was one individual. For the most part, I get an infrequent contact from a professional cuddlier, usually in response to something I said in a forum. None has ever directly solicited me for business, and while I recognize that some pros may participate in the forums to increase their visibility, that’s fine. The professionals are an important part of this community. The site would not continue to exist at the level it does without successful professionals contributing to the site’s financial health. A little bit of promotional activity, without becoming overbearing, is a good thing for all of us. [ Did you receive your invoice for monthly or annual site membership? No, because the professional cuddlers and their client customers paid it on our behalf]

  • MissAdventurousMissAdventurous

    I am not only a pro but an enthusiast.

    I am curious about the nature of the human spirit as well as providing a very holistic experience. I am trained and have a psychology degree. As an actual private therapist to about 4 individuals who have failed in finding anyone else to connect with, that frankness is not there or understood, the last thing I want someone to assume is that I am contacting them about money. That assumption or rude reply usually leaves me saying, "thank you for letting me know and I can clearly see we are not a good fit." then blocked.

    I cannot stand disrespect. Doesn't make anyone feel cuddly. I do respect their point of view, anyone, but how you go about it speaks volumes about a person in general.

    I do travel, and often. Why wouldn't I want to connect or message someone in that area that may have something in common with me? Why is it so atrocious to kill two birds with one stone? Are we not still humans? Isn't this the human experience? Why would you consider it an affront and not a compliment? There are so many ways to enrich someone elses lives, be it monetary or other. Instead of it being about ME, think about the whole picture.

    I know not everyone will think this way, I do like when someone messages me first, but sometimes you have to initiate. I think it should be an OPTION, but not a REQUIREMENT for someone to add to their details. :)

  • [Deleted User]lauracuddler (deleted user)

    What's the big deal if someone messages me? If I'm not interested, I say "No Thanks" and that's the end of it.

    Even though my details state that I'm only interested in "women", that hasn't stopped men from messaging me for cuddles. I simply state that I'm looking for other women and no thanks.

    If a message from someone is that repulsive to someone I think there may be other issues.

    Just my two cents worth.

  • garrablancagarrablanca

    @lauracuddler I think the option is to make it easier to the Pro, not to the potential client, I think, they are requesting this because at the end they are paying for the use of this platform.. so yeah they can have the right to ask for it.
    And if it doesn't bother to the population then yeah so be it.

  • 51cub51cub
    edited February 2019

    I'm thinking Cuddler97230 has it. I just went back now and changed mine a little. Seems easy enough

  • UKGuyUKGuy
    edited February 2019

    If you wanted to buy a pair of shoes, wouldn't you rather search the internet for a pair you like or maybe go to a shoe store and pick out your own? Or would you rather post a wanted ad on some website saying "I need a pair of shoes, send me some you think I might like"?

  • garrablancagarrablanca

    Ha ha ha ha @UKGuy what are you trying to say here?
    Who would be the shoes in your example?
    By the way at the end you need to feel the shoes to know if those are going to work for you or not, no matter what you did to get to that point. Still I don't know if I'm following you.

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