I realize that this is overwhelmingly a female profession. However, I would assume that there would be men and women who would prefer a male cuddler. Can anyone give me advise on how best to market myself as a male cuddlier?
By your post I'm guessing you are open to cuddling with males. That is essential for male pros. Someone who used to run another website said 99 percent of professional male cuddlers' clients were male. Beyond that I can't help you because I only cuddle with female pros or female non pros if I ever get lucky.
@shortstockyguy I've discussed this same topic with a handful of people that are pretty active on the site from around the country (US), primarily female and female pros and overwhelmingly the feedback is that 99% of the clientele will be male. Seems there are a lot of active female enthusiasts (I've found a number locally) but they are definitely very selective in who they choose to chat with and cuddle - and I don't think any would actually pay as they have more than enough offers for free cuddles.
I thought there would be some interest from females looking at this from therapeutic view and would prefer a pro, as in someone they could rely on to be professional, respectful, appropriate and not have any issues with, but perhaps not.
I'd love to hear if there are any females that would be interested in finding male pros to cuddle. Most of the female pros told me their clients are almost exclusively male and the majority had never had a female client. So that should tell us something.
I would think that this would be beneficial to women who have been sexual assaulted. Sex triggers PTSD flashbacks and so they tend to understandably non sexual. It would seem that a session of cuddling would meet a need for non sexual intimacy. I fear that these women have lost all trust in men.
My profile has been offering cuddles for women completely free for 12 months and so far I've had no takers. Why would a woman pay a man for cuddles when their are hundreds of guys on this site offering them for free? Incidentally, most women's profiles have 'cuddles everyone', so they can get their cuddles from men or women.
I agree with @shortstockyguy that there COULD be a viable business model for helping women that otherwise have severe trust issues with men in general, but since there isn't any real vetting process here, why would someone labeled as a "pro" be any safer than an enthusiast? Obviously it's about time in, building a reputation, karma, or more so word of mouth referrals from other women that are trusted by those in need of the service.
@UKGuy I've heard that a lot from a lot of guys on here - I've been on since just after Thanksgiving and I've already met 4 local ish enthusiasts for cuddles, have cuddled three of them multiple times and have build a base of friendships with a number of distant enthusiasts and pros. I'm pretty sure I have a handful of open invitations for cuddles with a number of ladies in other states free of charge. Perhaps my area is just rich in women willing to take a plunge? Perhaps there's an art to being open, honest, friendly and putting women at ease? Dunno… but I'm going to run with it and keep cuddling and being happy.
@TouchIsTLC - " since there isn't any real vetting process here, why would someone labeled as a "pro" be any safer than an enthusiast? "
Exactly.
I also think anyone who wants to work with traumatized individuals needs to have training in that area. It's not a field for amateurs.
@Babichev do have particular field of interests that does get better connection with male cuddliers?
@poolman Like prison?
@FunCartel: Well, it is true that most violent crime is committed by cis males, so if that's your field of interest, then I suppose your odds of connecting with someone who shares that with you would be higher if you looked for male cuddlers.
But I wouldn't advise that particular topic of discussion during your first cuddle with a stranger of any gender. Bit off-putting, plus it tends to give both of you unfortunate ideas.
you might find this article an interesting read
I WAS A PROFESSIONAL MAN SNUGGLER Our intrepid correspondent investigates the warm and fuzzy world of cuddling for cash. https://www.maxim.com/maxim-man/professional-man-snuggler-2016-1
Well I've stated emphatically & repeatedly that women will hire male cuddlers. I am a woman and I would immediately hire a pro cuddler if one was in driving distance so there is one at least. Plus on other posts about male professionals I've commented on other women have stated their willingness to hire a pro also.
The trauma issue is indeed one reason I'd be onboard for a male pro. But as an enthusiast I have no end of men feeling that my consenting to touch them and lay on a bed with them is permission to blow right through those boundaries.
I do also state that for me personally to hire a pro I will need to see documented proof that there has been training completed, a background in some related field or some other tangible information to show he is a professional. Because yes, I can find plenty of free cuddles. If I'm paying for a cuddle, I expect a professional worth my hard earned cash.
On a slightly different line in this post, I would also cuddle women professionals. In fact here in good ol ND we have a few. I've reached out to two women pro's, neither have followed up with me to pursue a cuddle.
I appreciate all that the paid cuddlers on here do and love them for their humanity. Many of you i consider friends and love you dearly so this is not intended to minimize you. However i have and still maintain that charging money doesnt make you a professional. Simply means currency is exchanged. It can be very dangerous to equate hiring a cuddler with a modality such as trauma informed therapy. A cuddling session could actually cause more damage than not for the person. And in cases where the client has clinical depression, boundary issues, and extreme loneliness, the feeling you have when the cuddle is over and the conflict with deciphering between what is a personal relationship vs a professional one can become very blurred and cause more mental distress. Not to mention the financial stress it can yield particularly on someone with little money to spare who will spend it all to get that feeling they get when they see a paid cuddler. So cuddling is great and has good benefits and could be used to help treat emotional and psychological issues in conjunction with other modalities, it is not something that could nor should take the place of mental health treatment if that is indeed what the person is in need of.
@shortstockyguy. I would say if your target clients include the trauma patients , perhaps you could circulate your cuddling business within your local psychologist board / medical professionals. Never mind about your qualifications let the MD qualify you themselves . I can see where the other posters above are coming from , you will have to have demonstrated some proficiency, something they can hang their hat on . If the MD has a patient that would benefit from your touch , you will get a referral. Also, with a written prescription from the MD , your fee is a medical expense that is tax deductible, for the client , which includes travel expenses to you , fuel , tolls, and lodging . Certainly that helps defray . A reminder , clients farmed outside of any website you advertise with are not subject to website commissions you can adjust your fee , if interested
@pmvines That is a very good point. It's also very much the reason that if I were to hire a professional I would need to know that there is a reason to spend my hard earned money. The rubber hitting the road so to speak.
I also agree very much with your presumption that if there are extreme disorders involved that a person may put themselves into a financially disastrous situation to continue getting their fix. This is addressed by at least three professionals on the site that I can recall off hand. That artificial closeness is a very good reason for your idea of having multiple cuddle partners, it allows those feelings to be diluted among multiple people alleviating the anxiety provoking fear of not being able to schedule with your only pro. If you have the ability to hire a professional you have the ability to hire two or three different professionals. Each professional will have a different cuddle style allowing for a more rounded experience for the one hiring them plus it allows the purchaser to have a greater selection of times and days to choose from since the odds of all the professionals you are seeing not being available at the same time are pretty high. A friend on the site has told me he has a list of local pro's & when he's planning something he sends out feelers to see which one is interested. A perfect option, you have choices and so does the pro. Almost like choosing between grape and strawberry jelly for your toast. You'd know who's available then you can choose between them.
But you do bring up a valid point, one I'm not sure you needed to put here since it's about men being professionals and getting hired but still a valid point. The implication I got from reading your comment is that men aren't capable of differentiating between therapy and obsession unless they are a medical professional. Why wouldn't other men in general be able to distinguish that difference? You did state it generally and didn't use any gender specific terms when stating ~ charging money doesn't a professional make ~ so I'll apologize if that's not what you meant.
That's something all pro's need to be aware of going into this occupation; the threat of perceived intimacy, bordering on obsession which you may find in the two types of situations pmvines described. A professional cuddler has to learn how to deflect and dilute obsessive behavior without doing further damage by completely ignoring or blocking the cuddler who's becoming obsessed. That would cause further damage to the cuddler, again like pmvines said. Don't be so greedy for a session fee that you ignore the warning signs of a cuddler becoming too attached to you.
So for male professionals, yes people will hire you. Sure there are severe issues out there that you may find yourself dealing with, learn how to respectfully and kindly deal with escalating feelings; especially from people with sexual boundary issues. Market any life experience that draws attention to the fact that you're offering non-sexual cuddles not sensual cuddles. Unfortunately for many women who have been psychologically damaged it's hard to differentiate between sensual and sexual.
For marketing, I would draw on any personal or professional experience in your life or current/former occupations. Did you have a close family member that may have committed suicide, been raped, was abused, the victim of a violent crime, etc., so you've done research into helping your family member deal with the accompanying emotions?
I've worked with hundreds of kids in a support capacity for years, many of those kids I had the privilege of watching go through multiple grades and watching their personalities develop and mature. It's given me a perspective that I could apply to certain learning or social disorders. So I'd market that I have special interest in social behaviors and the benefit touch therapy would bring them. I have no official training in treating any social behaviors so I would get around that with stating the "special interest".
@cuddlerforu24 has a very good suggestion for marketing yourself. One I might take myself if I ever go professional. Talk to your medical providers, offer a free session or two so they understand the benefits then ask them to refer clients to you. While insurance may not pay for cuddles, services prescribed by a doctor with a prescription can be claimed on taxes making it better than nothing. If it were me I'd target two or three doctors or social workers that advertise they specialize in a field I feel able to help with then work at getting them on board and expanding from there. Again if it were me I'd go straight to the licensed therapist that deals with my interest and develop a relationship there first and move out as I get a base established. I have much layman's experience with ODD, so I would go to a pediatric therapist, explain what I do, the benefits, and so on and work from that. I honestly would be a pediatric cuddler if I went professional. Our school systems are brutal.
I've seen some men write in their profiles that everyone around them says they are a cuddle natural, that immediately puts me at ease as a woman. If that's the case for you; as a professional, talk to one or three of those people and ask if they'd be willing to be character reference. Ask SusieQ, Ralph, & Juicy to print a small testimonial about how she/he loves cuddling you because you are so comforting without being pushy or whatever the reason. The more the better. Ask them to include a telephone number that the potential cuddler could contact if desired. Digitize it so you can email it to a potential client then list on your profile or website that references are available upon request. You could even make those two part references, one with the testimonial and one with the testimonial and contact information.
@PaulaDahla As always you speak with such clarity and completeness when pointing to all the things that are critical to the issue at hand. I just adore you. Thank you for chiming in here and sharing your thoughts. And thank you for being open and honest about the fact that you would pay for a male pro that you felt had valid training and experience and the vetting to back it up. Kudos to you - you're now one of two females that I've seen say that (and it be believable not just lip service) out of the 3+ dozen I've asked.
I think there is potential to find a place here (and other site/professional personal service business) for a male for hire cuddler - I don't currently have the time and energy to invest in that effort, but perhaps as time rolls on.
I think there is also a difference of approach - there are a number of female pros I chat and follow (stalk their posts) that are here to HELP and desire to be compensated for their time. There are also a lot more female pros (in my opinion) that are here to make money offering service (yes, just cuddles) which is needed by a lot of members for all the reason we are here, but that's the side benefit, those pros are here for the cash and not to help. Just my two cents.
IF I were to go down this path, I think as a male pro I would offer my services for a much lower fee, like $40/hour? as opposed to the seemingly standard $80-$100 that most female pros have. Because it would be about helping and healing others, not about getting a pay check. I'm pretty sure $40/hour is quite a living wage and with the right marketing and referrals one could make a living in the right area with that amount of pay. I talk to a number of female pros on here that use cuddling as their sole source of income and I wonder where the balance is between per client charge and volume - if you charged less per session, would you have a lot more customers and actually net more money (albeit for more work, but if it's work you love and work that you know is valued and needed...)?
@pmvines - "It can be very dangerous to equate hiring a cuddler with a modality such as trauma informed therapy. etc."
Really well put.
@PaulaDahla - " The implication I got from reading your comment is that men aren't capable of differentiating between therapy and obsession unless they are a medical professional. "
The OP brought up the subject of specifically working with women who had been sexually abused. I think the comment is about why that is not a good idea and applies to anyone.
@Babichev yes you are correct. I am not saying people are incapable of knowing the difference between a personal and professional relationship. I am saying it is more a challenge to do so when you are experiemcing emotional and psychological challenges such as serious depression, loneliness, impulsivity, and interpersonal relatiinship issues. The seriousness of trauma should not be taken lightly and it is irresponsible at best to say cuddling will cure it, which is an assertion i have seen made too many times to recollect. This is what i am addressing.
This is depressing, as a man who just wants to cuddle and don’t know about the trauma or might have ptsd from past stuff can’t get it touch. This might be more discouraging that not knowing about it.
@freddyfoxx: Litany of Gendlin. It's always best to know, even if the truth is discouraging. I mean, it's not going to go away just because you don't know about it, and would you rather stumble over trauma you didn't know was even a possibility, or know about it and decide where you're going to go based on that?
@DarrenWalker i agree, it’s discouraging for me as it shows the likelihood of me finding this therapeutic connection i signed up for. But it doesn’t hurt to know.