Leading My First Group Cuddle

Fredrick_HugsFredrick_Hugs
in General

Howdy everyone. I'm totally excited to have the chance to finally lead a group cuddle! Even more interesting is that this is going to be in the Fresno California area and this is something that is new to everyone. I'm organizing this through Fetlife when my description of Cuddle Sanctuary piqued the interest of the lady who runs a large house that hosts events. It's been more than a year since I attended Cuddle Sanctuary, but the experience is still with me to a large extent, so that I feel pretty confident of using Jean Franzblau's awesome method of helping complete strangers become comfortable with each other and do it safely. So far, 8 people have indicated that they will attend, and 22 are maybe's. 2 people have written to ask further questions because they're new to everything and suffer anxiety about these kind of things.

I'm glad the chance to hold this has come up. I haven't found anyone in the area to cuddle with through this website.

Comments

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    The asexual community on Fetlife may be small, but we know what we like. Sounds fun!

    Good luck.

  • MissAdventurousMissAdventurous

    Huzzah ? best wishes!

  • Fredrick_HugsFredrick_Hugs

    @DarrenWalker @MissAdventurous Thanks! Well, it happened and I can happily report that there were happy folks last night! :) 8 people showed up, including two who mostly just observed because they were touch aversive and one that was brought by a friend and too shy to try but got into the spirit of the event by trying some of the examples I provided like hair play and mirroring. Before we started and after the event was over, I had everyone say how they felt and pretty much everyone felt much better, were very happy that they came, and were eager to come to the next cuddle spa. So that's it. Its been a year and a half since I attended the cuddles in Los Angeles but I managed to remember how it was done and pulled off a nice gathering with some happy people as the result. One lady in particular was quite happy with the massage I gave since she had a stressful day at work. "I'll have to get more of those later" was her response.

  • Fredrick_HugsFredrick_Hugs

    By the way. For those of you with the means of getting people together, I would strongly recommend having your own group cuddles. Jean Franzblau offers a lecture on how to do it!

    http://cuddlesanctuary.com/workshop-leader/

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    @Fredrick_Hugs: Congratulations! I'm glad it went well. :)

  • PaulaDahlaPaulaDahla

    That's great! I'm glad it went so well for you. Hopefully an added value will be having all of the attendees sign up on here!
    A Homegrown cuddle community, way to go Frederick Hugs, well done.

  • laylanielaylanie

    Fantastic news! Congratulations @Fredrick_Hugs !!

  • Fredrick_HugsFredrick_Hugs

    I can now report on another successful Cuddle Spa up here in Madera California. Had a few more than last time although 18 had said that they were a "yes I'm coming". Since we hold these at a private house, the owner prefers people be vetted before they get the address so a few guys who had no info on their profiles and haven't bothered coming to any events were told to please attend a munch first. Mostly new people this time. Only one person didn't want to participate and spent the whole time coloring in her book. Every one else got into it and there was lots of cuddles and a few massages. All in all, a success.

  • PaulaDahlaPaulaDahla

    That's awesome. But could I just say that your continued reference to all things Fetlife bothers me a bit. A munch? Those are absolutely not platonic. They are at the location but the underlying reason for them is fully blatantly sexual, if I was asked to attend a Munch as a gateway I'd refuse. Just my opinion.

    Maybe at this point you could find some more appropriate non sexual ways to invite people to your cuddles. Especially if you are using this site as a gateway of any sort. A meet and greet may be better. Fetlife may have a small section of only platonic cuddlers but any mention of the name or the site implies only one thing and having it here or associated with a cuddle activity isn't a good choice. I've talked personally with you and I know your heart is absolutely in the right place but this is an international forum. Viewed by thousands, just look at the viewed by if you don't believe me. But keep up the championing of cuddling! I love your grass roots effort. <3

    But I'm also finding that my Midwestern country girl sensibilities are far, far different from the West Coast ones.

  • CatloafCatloaf

    This is lovely, but I'm in agreement with @PaulaDahla that it can be dodgy to advertise on Fet. One of the main facilitators in my city who just happens to be active there does this, and I assume she's successful in at least getting the word out since many people attend her group events every month. I have seen many people on there who do sometimes look for only platonic cuddles. It's possible for those on a kink and BDSM site to make connections outside of the sexual, but with that said, Fet is still a large breeding ground for problematic individuals with narcissistic tendencies, sexual addictions, opportunistic behaviour and such, and my worry is that it can attract the attention of those who would want to "bridge the gap" as it were. I think that if you were to continue to advertise on Fet, it would almost be smarter to branch off and offer something closer to a consent workshop, but keep it away from mention of group cuddles.

    The spooniverse (ha!) is still newborn and right now it might be best to separate it completely from places that drag it into ambiguity, at least in the mainstream's eyes.

  • PaulaDahlaPaulaDahla

    ugh. When are you coming back online so I can private message u?? @Catloaf.. Spooniverse. Love it!

  • LionheartOutlawLionheartOutlaw

    If i still lived in California i would definitely go. Cuddles help with my depression ,anxiety and helps me sleep better. Good jop on seting this up friend. Hopei canfind something like this in Tacoma Washington

  • CatloafCatloaf

    @LionheartOutlaw Have you checked out Meetup.com or the esoteric/alt health section on ad sites? You're in the third largest city in your state, so there has gotta be someone offering Cuddle Party or something similar!

    Off-topic @PaulaDahla

    I'm thinking maybe next month if I can get the bank card hooked up to my account. That said I'm technically on a hiatus, dealing with my stepdad and his new diagnosis of prostate cancer. Might disappoint some people if they wanted to book or interact and I just wasn't there mentally, and had to decline. I didn't know I'd still be able to post when my account was paused, but am glad that option is still there. I'm enjoying all the interaction without the emotional drain and commitment thus far. B) <3

  • [Deleted User]SoulcuddlerZ (deleted user)

    Fedlife bills itself as "the Social Network for the BDSM, Fetish & Kinky Community." We normally do not allow advertising of external sites, especially involving non-platonic activity. 27 MAR 2019 15:23 EDT. Closed.

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