@laylanie Maybe they do ... Hence affecting the ratio between serious people for the worse
Like you said about people flaking on you, there is no or minimal cost in time and effort to non-serious people until they have to "shut up-or-show up" at your public "meet-and-greet" - leaving you holding the bag
I don't know if a demographic based thing is applicable here but I know that women who are listed as single probably get the most of the through put so I really am curious if that is a true statement. I can only speak to the married female demographic really.
Good point
I'm guessing at least a 100 which for me seems crazy because I've never put a picture of myself up plus there are less than 10 active cuddlers in my entire state. So that was surprising. I would've thought that with a picture of Vault boy I wouldn't have gotten as many as I did. The posterized photo and the profile photo weren't added until over a week on the site. So those pictures weren't viewable the first three days on this site.
@PaulaDahla that makes sense too. But also Vault boy is pretty enticing.
@PaulaDahla It sound like your experience is very common
Do you have any specific things that you would CHANGE if you could wave a magic wand?
In my case, I created the profile and answered all the questions, but I didn't add any photos. My screen name is one I share on other sites, and I already knew I had friends IRL on the site, so I wanted an anonymous way for them to recognize that it was me.
I'd say I had messages from a dozen cuddlers within those first three days. Of those dozen, I've cuddled with one who I've now reported for groping, two have been mysteriously banned, three have since admitted to being married instead of single (I don't cuddle with marrieds, personal preference), one I blocked after he refused to meet me in public but kept pressuring me to meet me in private (hotel rooms are not public, imo), and two were friends IRL that messaged to say hi.
Pretty much the same for me. Those men that just refuse to met in public first aren't up to any good. Had my share of no shows when a public was arranged. Now I just don't bother, if they can't meet me first for even a few minutes publicly then I don't have time for them.
@PaulaDahla
Can I ask for a clarification on "public?" Do you mean like "meet in public and that's it, you go home, and we'll decide later about some other day" or did you intend something on the lines of "meet in public and then who knows the same day?"
Well yes, if we both have the time I always ask to meet for a quick coffee or just because of the time we've had dinner together before going somewhere private. But I've always offered to split those times unless he's traveling and has an expense account! But I'm also touching him during our public meet. I'll reach across and touch his hand, or move my leg over next to his, put my foot next to his. Just as a way for us to break the physical ice before we get our cuddle on. If it goes well and we each have time then we go and have cuddles after. If not or if he's available for more than one day then we plan for another time. Often people come here to see me so they will have more than an hour or an afternoon.
So yes if we both agree to the boundaries, learned that one through experience. I never used to discuss boundaries and what to expect before we got cuddling and it came back to bite me plenty so lesson learned. I'll cuddle with the person right then, I always ask that they either come ready to cuddle or have something with to change into. Easy peasy. Only the one's that don't want to keep it non sexual won't follow through. We discuss it before we meet though, the time line.
@PaulaDahla Totally agree with what you're saying here. I've done (or at least tried to do) a lot of the same things, but the men I've messaged with and explained these expectations to react like I'm asking some crazy stunt from them. I don't feel that's true. I'm just trying to be safe and feel safe, and if I don't feel safe, I'm not going to be comfortable enough to cuddle.
My expectations have been to meet somewhere in public, at least the first time. The reason for that is that I want to meet somewhere there are witnesses and help in case I need them, somewhere I can easily get away if necessary. For me, that can be as simple and inexpensive as meeting for coffee. I'm fully aware that this is a platonic cuddle we're trying to navigate and not a romantic date, but I need to see my cuddle buddy's expression, talk face to face, get a sense of who they are, and not have the intermediary of an internet connection. I want to see their body language, try to interpret their openness and sincerity. I want to discuss boundaries and make sure they're really on board, not just giving lip service. It is much, much harder to get away with lying when you're sitting face to face in the light of day with the person you're trying to deceive. I also want to break the touch barrier with them and see how they react, so I tend to touch them on the hand, the shoulder, the knee, etc. while we talk.
If the potential cuddle buddy agrees to the public meet and they show up and I feel comfortable enough afterwards to continue, then I'll agree to a cuddle session, but the cuddle session doesn't happen without the public meet first. Frankly, if they don't want to invest an hour and a couple dollars to meet me pre-cuddle, I'm not interested, and I question their motives.
@Biblioromantic I believe you just put into words the very thought of every female enthusiast on here. Well said. Men, what she describes there, is it an unreasonable request?
@PaulaDahla @Biblioromantic So it wouldn't be insulting to insist on something public first like "let's meet at the mall and window shop, maybe go in a book store or get a coffee", so that she sees I'm not some whackadoodle? (and vice versa)
?noted, and i agree
That explains why my message box has an alert if I would like to mute my profile for 1 week.
@mmpacom I actually like that idea! I'd be down
Same. Yes @mmpacom that's very good option for a first meet. If it were me I'd be taking your elbow and walking arm in arm also.
If you only want to count 3 days from joining, it probably matters what day they join. I'm sure many more people check out the site at the weekend rather than during the week. So if you joined on a Tuesday, you might not get many responses until Friday.
Interesting, but if only 14 ladies vote, it's a small group of the entire woman universe here at CC The intention was good, but I don't think this represent the real data.
@garrablanca Perhaps - still, that there are ANY ">100"s is eye-opening
@mmpacom just to put this poll to the test... How do you know these 14 effective votes are made by women?
Sadly we never know and this is only an illusion.
It would be nice to have a filter that only allowed women to vote... Then we can have a little bit more confident on the result.
@garrablanca
Talked to @Mark and he said no way to filter so you may be right.
I actually have thought of a different way that might work so we'll see.
And do you mean this poll may be an illusion or the whole production (life, the universe, everything, 42)?
@mmpacom I was referring to the result.