Harassment

[Deleted User]Candy26 (deleted user)
edited March 2019 in General

I thought that this website is all about kindness and everyone here pretty much looking for being affectionate.
Yesterday I received a message that " I don't cuddle overweight people!"
like isn't that so offensive and hurtful?
people are different, gender, race, ethnicity, different physical aspects, and face and body types and skin color!
I so did not expect to receive such a message on this website.
.
What is your opinion?
Should you just block them or get rude like themselves and let them know some ugly facts about their own A*s?
What do you think?

«13

Comments

  • PinkLipstick22PinkLipstick22

    I would report (breaking site etiquette rules), block, and move on. Not worth stooping to their level, and it will prolong the negative interaction.

    Sorry that's happening! It didn't used to be at this level here, and many of us are hoping things improve.

  • BiblioromanticBiblioromantic

    Hey, at least he told you right up front that you weren't compatible rather than leading you on, scheduling a meet, and then purposely not showing up.

    The purpose of the website is to help compatible people match up and enjoy a good, healthy, platonic cuddle. If you're not compatible with someone--whether the reason is because their expectations don't match up with yours, they're rude, they won't respect your boundaries--just move on to the next potential cuddle partner. In this case, I'd block him just to keep him from harassing you further. Read the TOS and code of conduct and report behavior that violates them to protect the next person.

  • [Deleted User]loveandsky (deleted user)
    edited March 2019

    That stinks! What a jerk! You have a fantastic profile, amazing skin, and a friendly smile. I actually think what that person said is mean. I do suggest not getting rude back. Like @PinkLipstick22 said - report this person and then block the person. Remember - only light can help cure darkness which is why I suggest not getting rude. It won't make you happier and this sounds like the kind of jerk that wouldn't care if you were offended or hurt. This site needs more people like you and @PinkLipstick22 So please stay happy and not stoop to that jerk's level!

  • [Deleted User]newjersey (deleted user)

    I would say you are gorgeous and you know that!! So, please don't feel bad, make a wise decision and move on.

  • ChocolatetreatChocolatetreat

    I agree with @Biblioromantic its better to be upfront then waste peoples time he didn't have to be so rude though.

  • ReltvlyCanshesReltvlyCanshes

    I don’t know what you should do except not pay him any mind. I don’t see much extra weight, maybe you do, but you look healthy and happy and great.

  • [Deleted User]chococuddles (deleted user)

    This is why I prefer silence over a "aw sowwies. yer keute but not my type" message.

    Did this fool send that message out of the blue or did you reach out to him first?

    Regardless, probably just a basement-dwelling troll of the lowest order.

  • cuddlebestiecuddlebestie

    @Candy26 assuming your a pro, I’m so sorry someone was this hateful to handle themselves in this way. Chances are they are looking for more than a cuddle if they are solely looking at body type! That being said, on the flip side I also understand everyone has a type they prefer to cuddle....I think it’s so important to know your worth and not let anybody devalue you by their “preference”....you is beautiful, you is smart, you is important ? in my opinion as a thicker lady this person is really missing out! It truly is about the touch and exchange of energy in a good cuddle! I’ll cuddle you any time sister! ?

  • [Deleted User]Candy26 (deleted user)

    @loveandsky Thank you dear.
    Yes, I also thought as a pro, I should remain polite, but block and move on.
    I understand @Biblioromantic comment about not being compatible, but wouldn't you agree that there is a more polite way of rejecting someone?!
    @PinkLipstick22 I also want to say thank you to you for being supportive.
    I appreciate all the beautiful words you guys said. <3 All the love and light.

  • RexagonRexagon

    Our culture has likely frowned on simple answers for so long that we feel compelled to justify our choices.
    There are so many possible reasons why one person, in that moment, is not able to satisfy the other person's want. We need to relearn to simply say "No", or to add "I'm currently not open to that".

    Virtual hugs to you - both.

  • manali79manali79

    @Candy26 his loss, you're gorgeous! And sounds like this guy is best avoided anyways; being hurtful to strangers online, as he was to you, is borderline sociopathic, and probably had nothing to do with your looks.

  • [Deleted User]Candy26 (deleted user)

    I wish there was a like button here. I read all your comments. I appreciate everyone's beautiful words.

  • [Deleted User]MzCharla (deleted user)
    edited March 2019

    Im positive thats why my messages are ignored A LOT....i guess i look big as a buick on my profile and thats cool, but if some loser insults you, to that caliber you just ignore him and keep it pushing. Shame on him!!!
    And for the record @Candy26 girl you are just adorable. ?

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    I have a similar yet different take on this. When something like this happens do not start a thread in the forums about it. When you do they win because it demonstrates to them that it bothered you enough to start a thread on it and that is what they wanted all along—a sign to show that they burrowed under your skin and got to you. You can never change a hateful anonymous person but you can ignore them and not give them the satisfaction. They won this round though.

  • [Deleted User]sunrise789 (deleted user)

    This person made the first contact with you stating "I dont cuddle overweight people"?
    If that was the only communication, you werent harassed. Treated rudely, yes.

  • UKGuyUKGuy
    edited March 2019

    A woman posted in a previous forum thread about 'age differences', that she did not want to cuddle her 'grandfather'. Is that any less hurtful? So it's not just guys who say hurtful things. And everyone has preferences, even if they won't admit it or deny they have them. And people who don't say hateful things can be just as hateful as those who do.

  • garrablancagarrablanca

    People have preferences, even if they won't admit it. Yup. @UKGuy, I been rejected and accepted many times because that is how the real world works, we just need to learn how to accept this diversity of people.
    Everybody is welcome.
    You can't feel offended if someone say no with his/her own style.
    Some people are rude, some others aren't.
    Stay with those who worth it, ignore the rest.
    Report those who represent a real threat to the community.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    Perspective matters. I sent myself an e-mail saying I do not cuddle myself. I replied back saying that I do not cuddle self-loathers. I saw it as being upfront about it, but the truth hurts.

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    Report, block and move on.

  • garrablancagarrablanca

    @FunCartel and if you do that very often.... Yeah you can also say that you are a victim of harassment executed by yourself.

  • EsquireEsquire

    If you initiated the contact, don't reply, block and move on

    If he initiated contact, report, block and move on.

    Don't start forum thread.

    Ps. You look great

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @garrablanca I once banned myself. Then I found my photo album.

  • PeopleLikeUsPeopleLikeUs

    It's usually the same people. When I went to block a few fat shamers on this thread I discovered I had already blocked them over some other sexist, racist or other ist they expressed before. They usually use honesty as a justification or will gaslight by bringing up someone else who was shamed for a different reason, like that somehow balances the scales? There are no social groups that don't exhibit some sort of bigot spectrum, whether inadvertent or blatant.

  • garrablancagarrablanca

    @PeopleLikeUs wow... You should reconsider call people fat, because that's also rude and you are dragging the observation out of context.

  • garrablancagarrablanca

    @FunCartel interesting, how you can live along with your parallel universe. :)

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @PeopleLikeUs With the possible exception of a post or two—and you would need to read deeply into them—I believe everyone was sympathetic and supportive of the person “fat shamed”. I do not even think she is fat. Can you point out some examples?

  • garrablancagarrablanca

    Oh @FunCartel it wasn't like that.
    Now you become a troll by twisting the conversation.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    How did I twist the conversation by asking a question?

  • garrablancagarrablanca
    edited March 2019

    @FunCartel it's not your question... Is your comment of what you believe... I don't understand how did you confused the different persons in where that adjective is used?
    If you don't get it, well nobody can help you.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    Ok garra, no need to get nasty. First I was not addressing you. PeopleLikeUs said he blocked all the fat shamers on this thread and I simply wanted to know where all the fat shamers he speaks of are on this thread because most everyone supported the original poster who was fat shamed. Seems pretty straightforward and not confrontational at all.

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