What is it like to be a professional cuddler?

[Deleted User]mdx71 (deleted user)
edited March 2019 in Professional Cuddling

I have used professional cuddlers and value it for all the reason's everyone else does. But I always feel weird at the end because a professional cuddler didn't choose you or anything and for all I know doesn't think of it as anything more then a gig. I always wondered what it was like for a pro cuddler. What was it like the very first time you cuddled with a stranger? How do you really feel each time you cuddle? Is it just a gig or do you get as much out of it as the cuddlee? What about boundries? I'm very aware and respectful of that - maybe too much so. I like big, warm, full contact type, wrap your legs around each other, cuddles, not in a sexual way as I have a g/f. But I'll end up not doing that just because I don't want to cross boundries and end up feeling I sort changed myself. Am I being overly concerned about that sort of thing or am I right to scale it back a bit?

Comments

  • [Deleted User]slumberjack (deleted user)
    edited December 2019

    MOD: Comment removed. User has admitted that his meeting with another user through CuddleComfort led to sexual activity. That is not something to be discussed here. [SoulcuddlerZ]

  • @mdx71 , you have been a member since December 2015!! I wonder why you have these concerns, questions now? Gosh, I was hoping you could help me and others going forward?

  • @slumberjack , i dont know where to begin replying. Pros are providing a service!!

  • Honestly, I do get a lot out of giving cuddle sessions I provide, but it is NOT the same as receiving a cuddle session. I wish I had a good pro local to me to use periodically. I plan on seeing one on my next trip out of town.

    I have always been comfortable jumping right into cuddles with strangers. I don't know why. My first cuddle session was only strange in that I was new and still figuring out my boundaries.

    @mdx71 As far as boundaries, every professional is different. Your cuddle preferences sound like they would be perfectly fine with me. Cuddle sessions are all about consent and trusting your cuddler to be honest with you in their boundaries. I always start a new client-professional relationship with that agreement, that I will always say something if I am ever uncomfortable, and they agree to the same. So never be afraid to simply ask your professional if there is something you want to do. It is a part of their job to respond with their true "yes" or "no" and handle the situation accordingly.

    @slumberjack There are a lot of pros on here who are doing it just for the money and provide an experience that people might not think is worth the money. But there are also a lot of pros who do it because they love it, and charge so they can spend their time doing it. For me, it's all I do, so I HAVE to charge. If I didn't, I would have to get other work and wouldn't have the time or energy to do this anymore. I help people in my area and take trips to areas which don't have professionals available to them. I could never devote all the time I do to this work if I didn't make money from it. =)

  • edited March 2019

    While pros are providing a service, most of us are genuine caring people who enjoy genuine connections with people. We care. We are nurturers and understand loneliness and trauma because some of us have lived through it and discovered the importance of human contact. Those close cuddles where you pretzel your legs and your arms tightly wrapped around each other....my favorite! These are healing cuddles. I haven’t been on this platform cuddling very long and I’m still learning as a “pro” but as a human being I can honestly say that ending sessions can sometimes be hard especially if I can tell my partner is soaking up the energy and is in desperate need of it...At the end of the day yes, it’s a business but I can with certainty say my connections are genuine and real. :-)

  • Professional cuddlers have fans or groupies. Then they have unwanted fans that cross the line; these are not groupies but are called gropies.

  • I know a pro that wears an armor plated bra to keep her boobies safe from groping hands. Well maybe not armor played but it looks like something Madonna would wear.

  • edited March 2019

    Personally, I think Lady Gaga had the right idea in the protective bra department. Can we get a patent on this thing for those situations when somebody has intentionally wandering hands?

    EDIT... Can't upload image as it says the server is responding with a 0 code. If you want to know what I'm talking about just Google Lady Gaga and her fire bra.

  • Hi! I've not been in the profession long so my experience is limited. I personally am open to that kind of close up snuggle, since that is what I assume people are looking for when some one reaches out to me.
    I've noticed that some want a genuine connection and are very talkative in between getting together, and others want to be able to just show up and cuddle immediately. Both are OK with me.
    Like ubergigglefritz stated above, I am able to jump into cuddling with someone new because there is an understanding that all humans need physical contact and I enjoy providing it in this platonic manner. Especially if I don't have to constantly redirect wandering hands, the session energizes me!

  • Hi Everyone, I'm still a new professional but I agree that as professionals you can expect that we will be able to communicate if something is crossing our boundaries. I am learning about my boundaries more and more with each cuddle but for me I think about a mother and child relationship, a mother would hold her child in a pretzel pose or put his head in her chest to make him feel safe and it would not be considered sexual. I know that my clients are seeking this for different reasons and I enjoy connecting with them in this vulnerable and nurturing level. I bring my relaxed loving energy to them to try and affect their energy in a positive way, this in turn, fuels my energy so that we can bask in the warm embracing cuddle that is our session. I have a child and it is natural for me to provide this for my child so I can easily tune myself into that mode as soon as I start the session. I am getting paid for my ability/ skill of connecting in a way that is difficult to find with a stranger/family member. I am able to devote my time to doing this as a job so that I can accommodate the different schedule demands of cuddling, this includes texting/phone calls with my new clients to establish expectations before our first session. Not just anyone can do this but I am grateful that I have found this because I know that I am helping others and this gives me a sense of fulfillment.

  • Yes, you are right we do not "choose" our clients, although I can argue we do have a screening process that weeds out a lot of people to get to you. As for seeing clients as a "gig", the people I see/seen who use CC for exactly what it's meant for and are genuine people looking for platonic cuddles for whatever reason, I grow fond of and do care about.
    Now, that doesn't mean I should start doing this for free because I cannot justify doing what I do without being paid due to the mentally taxing part of being a pro cuddler, the not so great sessions/clients, and the multiple times I have been touched inappropriately without my consent.
    Not to mention the amount of time it takes to get everything ready for a session and risks associated with meeting strangers on the internet, and coming to your house no less. It really tests your morals and what you stand for and don't. If you're weak on any fronts, unfortunately people will take advantage of that and lie to/manipulate you.
    I experienced my first burnout from being a pro cuddler earlier this year. I was just so mentally drained I couldn't bring myself to see anyone. So, yes you are paying for a service. But, no (most) of us are not heartless people in it just for the money and do care about the good ones, yet cannot justify continuing this (with all cons concerned) without pay.

  • [Deleted User]mdx71 (deleted user)

    @anastasija Interesting to know how mentally taxing it can be for a pro. It's hard to imagine going to the house of a person you met on the internet and you have to respect the bravery of all that. That puts it all into perspective. Hope all your cuddles are safe.

  • I have been doing this for almost two years and it seems like forever since I have had an inappropriate client. A good screening process is key, professional / NOT sexually inviting pictures, and have very firm boundaries, not hidden in pre-session conversations, and followed through with in sessions. Most people screen themselves out in conversation before we even book. There are plenty of "professionals" for those people to choose. Those looking for other services tend to not want to waste their time with me 😇 I am perfectly happy with that. I don't want to waste anyone's time or money.

  • @ubergigglefritz it is so hard to screen people. There's many that fall through the cracks because they seem 'ok' in conversations (text and verbal calls) and photo. I met one like that. Wasn't from this site. He tried to cuddle and more. Texted me again to ask for a ONS since he was unmasked.

  • Yeah, I don't know how to explain better what I do, but my stats seem to be a lot better than many professionals. 🤷 Just trying to help jog some thinking I guess.

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