@hobgoblin I believe what he means by that is "censorship", not moderation. But I do have to ask @mickcuddle, how many of those closed discussions were just going to end up as fuel to a dumpster fire? If you ask many here, they're here to cuddle and not talk about stuff that inspires the radicalism in others such as religion, politics etc. We had a troll a couple weeks ago who was posting really preachy, irrelevant stuff about cigarette addiction and religion, and frankly, it did nothing to add to this community. Even threads that have a good intention might be proposed in such a way that it provokes people to come from the left and the right of whatever the debate is, and things can end up rather uncivil pretty quick. Prevention in this case is warranted, at least in my opinion.
@TisDoney That too is a valid point, I'm not sure if anyone is discrediting that directly. But with that said, keep in mind that even if there are no female mods currently, for whatever reason the site staff has discerned, we as pros have our pro forum to talk in with other women who we can hopefully feel comfortable with. The mods take action based on many of the conversations held between the women in that section. Enthusiasts are free to message other women as well. It's not as though we're relegated to only talking about our issues with the male mods. Though I'm sure in time they'll appoint someone, but can't because most of us active females on the forums are pros.
@Catloaf
Yeah, I figured that he was getting at censorship. I was simply baffled by such a suggestion. Still am, somewhat.
I'm not sure censorship would ever be a major issue on here unless things snowballed way out of hand, I've seen it happen a couple of times to other sites (not cuddle sites mind, completely unrelated forums). After you reach a critical mass of users and moderators, or when the number of moderators far exceeds the required amount, that's typically when that kind of thing happens - because some of those moderators get lost in the crowd so to speak and go unchecked, or get taken on as a mod without the due care to make sure they're right for the job out of desperation/need for new staff. By no means saying that will or realistically could happen here of course, just an example of how it has/might.
I agree with @melancholy that moderators shouldn't be professional cuddlers as it'd lead to some conflict of interest/bias. I'm sure there are plenty of non pro cuddlers out there who'd be able to join the fray when new mods are needed (no clue if/when, pretty new here) men and women alike.
Off-topic:
I really, really think that people need to do some research into what censorship entails. This is almost as bad as when people say “Well, it’s just a theory”.
Yes on women moderators. It seems like men making money off women in this particular setting is a little peculiar.
@zunar hit the nail on the head. If we just have a bunch of moderators who are just in the role and have no idea what they are doing, then forums tend to belly up because of different ideas of following the rules.
I've even seen where mods have to veto other mods on difference of opinion.
I can appreciate the reasons mentioned for a mod to be non-male, and completely do love when representation is there. (I mean...I'm a woman with predominantly African American background who works in the software industry. There is usually little representation for me there..) but at the end of the day, if you bring someone into the role who is there to be the token, then the role of moderater just is undervalued. If you go off of raw skill and not take into account the factors a person can not control, then whoever takes that role would feel better about their work.
i agree that there should be some female cuddlers as moderators on this site. After all, they are the ones who cuddle and can empathize with others who actually are in this profession. When you exclude those who are actually in the profession that the site is about , you are making them worth less as humans with feelings. They know who the clients actually are.
I would also like to see moderators who are clients in all shapes and forms. I am a man with a disability who has become an avid fan of cuddling. Has the site administrators ever thought about having a person with a disability as a moderator? What about cuddlers who are of a different sexual orientation? , etc.? It would make for a livelier group[ of members of the cuddling community and provide us with different perspectives and ideas on cuddling.
Just some of my thoughts.
It may appear that this site currently has only "male" moderators but perhaps there are days when any one (or more) of them identify as female, trans, agendered perhaps? I wouldnt rule out this possibility and therein we have a solution to what on the surface may appear to be a lack of diversity and gender representation. That said what is being done for ethnic inclusivity amd diversity? Should we stop at gender? Is there not a place for religious diversity? Regionally, we are different as well. Perhaps a board of moderators from each region will ensure that none are overlooked, empowering each of us according to the most important identifier we choose? Great discussion...let's caution against limiting ourselves to gender diversity lest we overlook and even if unintentional, slight anither group or individual.
@TisDoney there's no doubt that a woman would be more comfortable discussing being violated with another women, in the real world , when it's face to face. Does this really apply with internet texting? You haven't defined violation, but maybe these require professional law enforcement, not chatting with a mod. Where's the training for this anyway?
@PeopleLikeUs Are you under the impression that mods make money for moderating? Your concern about one sex making money goes both ways.
What's the problem? I never knew or cared who the moderators are. They can be martians for all I care. Is this some kind of campus identity politics agitation? Can't we have just one place where all this nonsense doesn't rear it's ugly head. The moderators here are fine. If you don't think so maybe you should get out of your bubble and check out some other forums where the moderators are lousy.
I have noticed a huge decline in the forums. There’s not nearly as much posting. This is good because things were out of control at one time. I also think one of the mods is a bit of a gunslinger and shoots people and threads down way too soon. We should be allowed to communicate in the forums but it seems that judgement is passed much too quickly. I think we need some new blood in a the form of a new mod and a female may be a very good idea.
So, has anyone else noticed that only female Professionals and men have commented here? I for one have taken the time to read waaay back into the far pages of forum posts. Maybe back to around 34 or so definitely not all the way back. My point is, I've seen Morpheus change his name; I've seen where the break came to create the pro side of the forums, I read the reasons that the Pro forum was created the thought process to justify it. I've seen Mod's come and go.
What I haven't seen is a regular consistent female non pro. Is she even out there? Where are all these female enthusiasts? Who could the Mod's tap(more than 3 currently) to be this voice of reason? No women stick around long enough to do the job. Plus as women they are usually twice as busy as men since they have additional roles thanks to affirmative action and being successful outside the home. Those women still feel the need to be successful inside the home and I haven't experienced any men saying hey I need to be successful INSIDE the home so. Women's work load has at least doubled.
There's a lack of active commentor's here that are female to begin with, much less only hobbyists. Great thought not sure it's practical. Enjoying this thread.
@ PauiaDahlia, true but we need some women moderators here too!!
@snugbuddy you are so right. Coddled, indoctrinated by extremist professors, gender confused, and unable to be adult. Sad to read so many profiles out of touch with reality.
If there was a problem with all Male moderators, our OP wouldn't be saying someone pointed it out to her. In other words, someone had to tell her that she was blind to it. Time to leave the echo chamber. Get a job and do your artsy fartsy stuff on the weekend.
Coddled, indoctrinated by extremist professors...
Dammit, there's nothing worse than professors that push complacent and faith-entitled students out of their comfort zones. I mean, we wouldn't want anyone having independent thoughts now would we? The Dark Ages worked for Catholicism for centuries.
But I digress.
Is there a formal application process, and what are some ways to encourage more non-professional, female, moderators?
@Sideon Thanks, I learned religious bigotry is ok in California and it apparently snows too, one flake at a time. Lmao
If freedom of religion pertains only to your faith, then bigot might be an apt word for you. Have a blessed day, @Esquire.
@Sideon You need to show me were religion, much less a preferred religion, was a part of any of my posts. Before you brought it up, that is.
@Esquire you are the one taking it in that direction . Nobody is making this personal. You are the one making condascending comments and personally insulting posters. If you disagree so br it, but you are making personal attacks.
@pmvines The direction of religion? Really?
The group think is thick here
@Esquire perhaps not religion, i am referring to your commemts that are purposefully comdadcending and insulting. You are needlessly making things personal. And now are making a fuss due to the church having been memtioned. You are being intentional and you know what you are doing, dont need me to point it out so that is all i will say re you.
Thanks for walking that back
@Esquire you are welcome. If i mis quoted i mis quoted no biggie
@Esquire , your posts are troll-timed and ridiculously ironic for this thread. Congrats on demonstrating Exhibit A of why there aren't more women moderators.
The OP brought up a concern, and your hetero maleness just might be part of the reason why you don't see the situation the same way - this in no way lessens the OP's experience or concern.
Kudos to @pmvines for pointing out your schtick, but I'm hard pressed to remember any of your posts that are positive and provide feedback without being a dick. Play nice or get out - it's pretty simple.
I guess, Esquire chose to bail. So sad. I shed a tear....
ANYWAYS, to reign a good topic of discussion back from raging dumpster fire that it was heading toward @PaulaDahla brings up some valid points. There isn't much incentive for a non-pro to take on the task. If we are to acknowledge the 2 criteria of non-male and non-pro then the pool to pick from is already small. @Sideon was on the right track though. We have applications to be a pro. Is there a formal form for moderators? Even in some of the chat rooms I use to frequent had a vetting process to have admin and moderator roles. Even branching to leads who have a limited amount of control in controlling the channel, but not enough to take action on banning. (Possibly a good role for pros to fill in)
I think from what I have found in regards to female enthusiasts that I have talked to is they are being violated.
Not just that... the reality is sex among enthusiasts is rampant. It's almost safer for a woman to put a price tag on her time so that men respect the cuddling boundary as to not risk losing their money.
What we need to do is find solutions, not go at each other.
The question about what is the requirements is a good question. How could one apply?
What are ways we could help people learn to voice and enforce boundaries? Seems from what I heard, that line is too varied. How could that be better defined? How can people learn that skill here? How can we help others?
How can we protect individuals who are falling thru the cracks? Is there a way to feel safe from people manipulating individuals? These are real issues.
This group is full of people needing hugs. This group is full of hurt. Consent culture could evolve from this, but that's the responsibility of all of us. Sure I have grandiose ideas, but I don't think they are impossible.
Let's keep the ideas rolling.
@TisDoney in order of your post:
Education: I think that leans more toward the FAQ section. I agree that there should be a "librarian" role to account for this. Not sure that this would be a task for a moderator as by definition from wiki A discussion moderator or debate moderator is a person whose role is to act as a neutral participant in a debate or discussion, holds participants to time limits and tries to keep them from straying off the topic of the questions being raised in the debate.
Security: agreed. These are worrying points, however this too does not fall into what a moderator does. This would fall into a "chief of security" or simply "admin" role so that enhancements to the platform to better reduce the amount of malicious users. As I've suggested before, there can be improvements of our banning process to include ip blocks to prevent reoccurring offenders.
@hogboblin I didn’t realize that I was unclear, so I’ll start over. I agree there needs to be a female moderator, just simply because there are details sometimes some females would feel awkward telling a man.
But, that being said, moderators are going to moderate. So if we, sitting here in the peanut gallery decide that there are 4 other categories that should have a moderator, and Mark submits to our demands, we will see an increase in blocks, bans, and closed threads. It is my perception that with the addition of a third mod (and I’m not saying it wasn’t warranted) I’ve perceived a marked increase in the number of closed threads.