Which experts do you listen to in the forums?

EsquireEsquire
in General

I noticed we have cuddle experts who have yet to have their first cuddle. They have it all figured out and often write long essays.

We have marriage experts who are not married. They seem to also believe in their own psychic powers.

We have asexuals, demisexuals, pansexuals ,and more, who believe very strongly that they understand platonic cuddling.

Lots of amateur psychologists too. They aren't troubled by only having a bachelor's degree and no career experience in a related field.

Last, but not least, there are those who take their solitary anecdote and put it forth as data.

What many of the above share is the inexperience of youth, being in their 20s.

Calling it as I see it.

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Comments

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    I listen to everybody, and keep my salt shaker handy. Just like everywhere else in life.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @Esquire At the risk of being ostracized, you have more than a kernel of truth.

  • pmvinespmvines

    We are all legends in our own mind

  • [Deleted User]CharlesTwisted (deleted user)

    I tend to follow the Nine Principles, as articulated by Musashi.

    They are less about hard and fast rules, and more about being well rounded, mindful, and able to honestly assess situations.

    For those who haven’t:

    1. Think of what is right and true.
    2. Practice and cultivate the sciences.
    3. Become acquainted with the arts.
    4. Know the principles of the crafts.
    5. Understand the harm and benefit in everything.
    6. Learn to see everything accurately.
    7. Become aware of what is not obvious.
    8. Be careful even in small matters.
    9. Do not do anything useless.
  • [Deleted User]chococuddles (deleted user)

    Listen??

    ??? + ??? = ??????

  • PaulaDahlaPaulaDahla

    We have experts??

    Oh I got ya, experts in our own minds. Yup, I have vast amounts of experience.

    Actually the experts I tend to listen to the most aren't the ones who post regularly. But you'll recognize them when they do speak.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited April 2019

    You should never listen to anyone all the time. You should consider only what is said at that moment in time. Who the person is uttering it only informs you of the agenda.

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    A few thoughts:

    ・ It's a good idea to try and see things as they are, not necessarily as they're presented.

    ・ People who've been forced to do a lot of looking into sexual orientation (on account of not fitting either of the two off-the-shelf classifications) might be expected to know what sexual attraction isn't.

    ・ Solitary anecdotes are data. Not much data. But information is information.

  • laylanielaylanie

    Really, that is anywhere on the internet. Heck, go to Coachella and you described more than half of the demographic (and that's being conservative)

    As for here, I'm all for hearing out a person's thoughts. I keep hearing "get out of the echo chamber", but I think the biggest problem is not seeing that it's a two way street. It's easy to say someone else is myopic but the person calling the other out for having a small world view isn't self aware to know that they to may also only see as much as they want to see.
    I know I can be guilty of this, and I try to make it as transparent as possible that "hey! This is just my experience! Form your opinion wisely" but I am curious if others would do this too. Even still, it would make more sense that as the reader, understand that this is just a small peephole in the grand picture of 'a lotta sh*% going on right now' that is existence so pick and choose your truth.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited April 2019

    @pmvines Yours is the most truthful post on this thread. Everyone is guilty of this and I definitely include myself. The ego is a malady that can only be cured from within and with continual diligence. The trick is to keep the pieces of it that push us to achieve greatness in some form. Unless you are a serial killer, then I would prefer you just consider yourself a legend and not push yourself.

  • pmvinespmvines

    To quote the late great Operation Ivy, all I really know is that I don't know nothing

    We could all learn from each other in one way or another truth be told, we are just sometimes too ego driven to allow for that, especially when the person we might agree with or learn something different or new from is someone who we have a negative imprint about. It is far less easy to shut someone out when they are someone of whom you identify with. The less you identify with the person, the more likely you are to have an unwillingness to hear them. I am guilty of the same at times. My son is smarter than I in many ways, but because he is the child and I am the parent, I have a mental block toward being neutral toward him and toward learning from him. It is not even a purposeful thing.

  • pmvinespmvines

    Thanks mr fun!

  • CatloafCatloaf
    edited April 2019

    How're your cornflakes tastin' today, @Esquire ?
    This is just my youngin' opinion, but discounting someone's experience or input just because they are a certain age is rather discriminatory, innit? I'm sure you wouldn't want someone doing the same to you. As @DarrenWalker notes, don't worry about what others are saying. They have as much right to share their words as their brethren whether younger or older, just carry your salt shaker around for taste. I'm gonna assume that along with a few others, I'm one of the subtly shaded users you're talking about as I often share personal anecdotes and am aware that they don't provide any real data points. But anecdotes are still part of a greater statistic, like it or not.

    I mean, I guess maybe in another 5 years (I'll be 25 in 9 days) I get promoted to "your opinion is somewhat valid, seeing as you just hit your 30s..." Or maybe not. But for now, I and others with valid opinions seem to be in your "young fart" category just because we came out of utero at the wrong time.

    Still love your little quips though.

  • HappinessHenryHappinessHenry
    edited April 2019

    Hi there @Esquire. So you prefer your yacking backed by some hard data? Emminently sensible. So when you claim that there are "lots of amateur psychologists" with "only bachelor's degrees" theorizing here, I would love to read what they have to say. And if there are indeed "lots" of members of this very precise academic criterion expressing themselves here, I am sure you would be able to give me a mere three specific examples? For the sake of the hard data alone. Or, are you merely shooting the breeze, just like the rest of us poor saps?

  • EsquireEsquire

    @HappinessHenry

    I myself majored in psychology, even worked as a social worker for almost 5 years. Until you get a Masters level education, you aren't really qualified for a damn thing.

    Everyone else: interesting comments. Thank you.

  • EsquireEsquire

    @DarrenWalker I don't understand the salt shaker reference
    Care to elaborate?

  • HappinessHenryHappinessHenry

    @Esquire @DarrenWalker Reference to circumspection...as in taking someone's theories or claims "With a pinch of salt".

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    I am disturbed that Bill Gates is vastly unqualified. He does not even possess a Bachelors degree. Could be the reason for all the patches.

  • laylanielaylanie

    @FunCartel SAVAGE! ???

  • HappinessHenryHappinessHenry

    @FunCartel Nice! :)

  • SashamcgeeSashamcgee

    I wonder why in a place like a cuddling website people aren't more positive and friendly ?? @esquire are you lacking cuddles? ??

  • pmvinespmvines

    All it takes to get a masters degree is free time and money. Just do the work and obtain at least a C average. Even a doctor who graduates bottom of their class is still a doctor. And there are plenty of folks with master degrees waiting tables, and plenty of folks with high school diplomas running businesses. I wouldn't equate formal education with intelligence and actual real world knowledge base. It does help, and it definitely establishes credibility, but it is not the only determining factor for credibility.

    However, considering we are on an opinion based forum, and not a peer reviewed professional forum, none of that matters anyway now does it? We all have brains to use as we wish, and aren't really responsible for having to back up what we say. That is what happens in non peer reviewed open forums for better or worse.

  • HappinessHenryHappinessHenry

    @Sashamcgee Good question. Apparently psychologists (with or without Masters' Degrees) refer to it as "The Cuddle Paradox"; the fact that cuddling sights are actually full of crochety curmudgeons (and I very much include myself here) arguing with each other...about anything and everything...like the two "old men" in The Muppets!

  • EsquireEsquire
    edited April 2019

    @Sashamcgee Actually, I am getting cuddles. Got two hours just Wednesday with more scheduled.

    Got a 90 minute massage the Tues before, equally satisfying.

  • garrablancagarrablanca

    =)

  • EsquireEsquire

    @FunCartel Show me anyone here who scored 1560 / 1600 on their SAT, as did Bill Gates. Harvard bestowed a degree on Gates

  • EsquireEsquire

    @pmvines so "just do the work" and put in the time. Add a generous helping of real world experience and PRESTO, you made my case.

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited April 2019

    So then is it more about age or education? Or both? I believe everybody can learn from someone in some way or another. Doesnt have to have the hard fast criteria apart from knowing about something that another person doesnt. Doesnt take years of experience, just takes knowing about something. I dont know how to play piano, or tune a transmission, or speak German, or weld. But i do have a couple fancy degrees and real world experience in a variety of areas.

  • pmvinespmvines

    You can see by the white in my beard that im no spring chicken, however i learn new things from folks all the time of all ages, education levels, and backgrounds. You dont have to be an expert to share what you know.

  • KempistKempist

    The experts I listen to are the cuddlers I cuddle with who never read or don't even care about this forum. They have no agenda and don't come here to stir up trouble, complain or pontificate. They are out there making an honest living and providing a great service. They tell me they like their job and vast majority of clients are respectful. The few bad apples they don't dwell on but just take it as part of the job and move on and not see them anymore.

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