Rejection of Requests.....

Lev136Lev136
in General

I have seen many posts about this before, but want to talk about it again.

Sometimes, I will reach out to someone and not get an answer. On some occations, all by non - pros. I will get a response alluding to my physical traits (which some know about). People, if you are not interested in cuddling with somebody that's okay, but don't message somebody suggesting that they are not attractive to you because of of something that might be hurtful.

Just a thought.

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Comments

  • CatloafCatloaf

    Sorry Lev that you feel these women are judging you based on your appearance. I feel like online meetup sites become like grade school playgrounds. It can be hard but I hope you hold your head high that someone will overlook the external and look towards the internal. Most people aren't that thoughtful. @pmvines often speaks on this topic that nobody is entitled to any response, and while I too take that stance I think you're rightfully frustrated if you've done all this reaching out and nobody is reaching back. You mentioned in your other post that there's often impatience involved in the process where we all expect to find the perfect cuddle buddy for us just at the drop of a hat. Unfortunately, patience is just part of the deal... it's sad, but true. Many have been here years and never found anyone to meet with.

    People, if you are not interested in cuddling with somebody that's okay, but don't message somebody suggesting that they are not attractive to you because of of something that might be hurtful.

    And a huge, huge, huge amen to this. Having preferences doesn't give someone the right to be an ass about it. I don't know if you've been online recently to see the threads that were popping up in which some men were going at women and rejecting them "in detail", but it was pretty sickening stuff to read whilst this guy was justifying his actions by saying he has a right to reject or accept whom he wants. The fact wasn't that rejection was happening, but the manner in which it was being applied. All people need to say is a simple N-O... but apparently were not taught to be courteous and mindful of others' feelings.

  • Lev136Lev136

    @Catloaf , I actually get responses from women telling me to go to professionals since they will have to take you for the money and not care a single iota about you. From my experience professionals are great, caring and non - judgmental in many ways, have had some great sessions with many, am planning on second sessions and am wasting to meet a few.

    Unfortunately, there are those who have their ideas about what this is about, rather than what it is.

  • CatloafCatloaf

    Glad to hear you're having successful experiences even if they are with pros. The fact that someone would see it that way says a lot about how they view the world, and I don't believe they'd be successful long term in either case as a cuddler... pros who are picky usually burn out, and same with enthusiasts who do the same. Though the latter certainly has a higher endurance than someone who simply comes here to make money, starts picking apart people based on looks, and expects to still have a clientele.

  • Lev136Lev136

    @Catloaf , I don't mind the money at all. As long as the session works out and I enjoy them it's good for me. Again, , but there are those who I like alot, planning on making second sessions with and waiting to meet a few who I have spoken to online.

  • ChocolatetreatChocolatetreat

    @lev136 have you tried online dating might have some luck there and find somebody you can hang out with and cuddle with things are getting harder on this site

  • [Deleted User]Wesk (deleted user)

    Unless I and a non-professional cuddliest develop an excellent healthy relationship, we are not meeting in person under any circumstance. I value my life. I feel as this would be a better place to meet people than an online dating site. At least we have cuddling in common. It is a crazy world out there. Be smart, be careful and stay safe. The professionals surely are vetting us; we need to be doing the same.

  • UKGuyUKGuy

    When it comes to meeting people, everyone is judged by appearance, age and other factors. The negative aspects of those considerations can be balanced by other positive factors. And of course people weigh the factors differently. I recently saw a new female cuddler who specified she was only looking for a Scandinavian type who had to be blonde and blue-eyed.

  • Lev136Lev136

    @UKGuy , we all have our preferences, but if something might be hurtful, why say it?

  • [Deleted User]chococuddles (deleted user)

    This is why I prefer no response over a bad response.

    No idea why guys get mad when they don't get a reply.

    Better than "d'awwwwww...yer so keute! Thanks for reaching out! unfortunately..."

    I'll take a slap in the face over a punch in the gut!

  • DutchBoyDutchBoy
    edited April 2019

    Ignore this

  • Lev136Lev136

    @ Dutchboy, ignore what?

  • DutchBoyDutchBoy

    @Lev136

    Ignore this blank post.

  • [Deleted User]denveromelette (deleted user)

    Is it possible you asked why they don’t want to cuddle and they replied honestly?

  • garrablancagarrablanca
    edited April 2019

    Yeah @Lev136 there are people of all kinds and manners.

    They all should be respectful, but they aren't and there is nothing one can do about it, except to let them be, skip that and ignore them...

    Besides you don't want to cuddle with a person that horrible anyway.

    But If you want to create some reaction, some change, then exposure them, if they are really mean against you.
    Show others what kind of cruel person is that Pro or non-Pro.

    In that way nobody is going to request cuddles with them for being such a cruel heartless person.

    Edit: this applies to anyone!

  • UKGuyUKGuy

    In life you have to be able to handle rejection. And men get rejected far more than women since we're usually the ones who have to make the first move. I agree with @garrablanca if they reject you in a hurtful way, you wouldn't want to know them anyway. I'll now wait for the women to dispute what I've said.

  • Lev136Lev136

    @UKGuy , I agree, rejection is a part of life. However, this post wasn't about rejection alone. It was about how some people reject others in ways that are hurtful.

    @garrablanca , Yes, you wouldn't want to know them anyhow, but I believe that someone again, should think out what they are about to say, before saying it.

  • HappinessHenryHappinessHenry

    Sure we all have the right to our preferences, our right to choose and our right not to have to explain or justify. However I believe a lot of the men who have given their opinions in this thread are being apologists for/blind to the following:

    You don't have to be a statistician to see from the huge weight of anecdotal evidence that there are a significant number of people on this site who are never going to actually cuddle anyone, in month of Sundays. Even if God himself, in the human form of Bradley Cooper, joined the site and asked them to. Because they are what they call in the car sales business "tyre kickers"; people who go through the motions but have no intention whatsoever of actually buying.

  • [Deleted User]CharlesTwisted (deleted user)

    The similarities of various “connection social media” sites and apps is hard to ignore.

    Look up Tinder or OKCupid stats...

    The bottom line is pretty funny, if grim.

    About 80% of women on these sites reach out to the same 15% of men. (That is, per 100 women 80 of them try to connect to the same 15 men.)

    90% of men reach out to 85% of women, with no discernible preferences. (That is, those 90 men that reach out at all cover the spectrum of EVERY available woman.)

    This is purely biological behavior, of course. Women have every biological reason, including perceived safety, to be incredibly discerning in their selection of partners, of all kinds.

    To me, the most humorous take away is: Women find 80% of men below average.

    There is a huge dissertation that could be written about how that impacts relationships, introductions, and so on, but the bottom line for men is that we need to learn to take rejection gracefully, and try, try, try again.

  • [Deleted User]Wesk (deleted user)

    If you want a positive response make sure your profile is as best as it can be.

  • [Deleted User]chococuddles (deleted user)

    @Lev136 Not sure which physical trait you're talking about unless it's height. In that case, yes, we shorties don't have an easy road.

    But height shouldn't matter because this isn't a dating site riiiiiiiight?

  • CuddleMelbourneCuddleMelbourne

    Sorry to hear that happened to you, @Lev136

    As a professional on this site it's my duty to meet every potential client where they are at and really leave the physical body and ego out of our interactions.

    I really enjoy seeing people for who they really are and I hope you come across the people who are ready to meet you where you are at in your life journey and who are able to celebrate you for the unique person you are and what you bring to the world.

    I believe through sharing this work with people we can start to break these concepts down and get them into the mainstream.

    I hope you have a beautiful day whatever you are.

    In kindness and cuddles,

    Sarah Belle from Cuddle Melbourne

  • mbaguymbaguy

    Supply and demand , Thailand and Prague , more women less men , options !!

  • Missy87Missy87

    I find it odd that a pro cuddler would reject a potential cuddle based on physical appearance. I honestly couldn't care less about that because I am not on here for a hookup or dating purposes. I am on here to fill a void and to help others do the same.

  • Lev136Lev136

    @Missy87 , it's not the pros, it's the non - pros.

  • Lev136Lev136

    @Missy87 , it's the non - pros. who need lessons on how to reject. The professionals have never rejected me and the most I've gotten are some questions about myself.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @Lev136 I get what you are saying about tactfulness. I have not experienced that yet, but I am sure it exists and I do not doubt you. But on the flip side of that, I bet the women experience several times more on a daily basis from men about their nice boobs, how they can be prettier if they did this or that, how they should smile more, or wear dresses rather than jeans etc., etc. etc. As a result, I would just ignore those who show little tact and move on because I bet they have heard far worse from men.

  • seanpaul425seanpaul425
    edited April 2019

    There’s def done rude cuddlers on here pro and non-pro. But it’s just people some aren’t nice. I particularly like pros hoping they’ve been vetted but I still meet rude ones.

    Pro or non pro I like to chat with them and feel comfortable before we meet, I’m just scared they could be a crazy

  • HappinessHenryHappinessHenry

    @CharlesTwisted A great analysis. I love your nutshell version of "Women find 80 of men sub par". And the very valid evolutionary explanation for this. However there is just one slight chink/ray of light in your thesis.

    THIS is a Cuddling, not a dating, sight. External danger is not a huge factor (unless you have chosen to cuddle in the open near bears). And, as @CuddleMelbourne so beautifully expresses, for her at least, physical attraction is not important to the cuddling process.

    Now, of course, she is getting paid, so has an additional motivation but...why can't we all, male and female alike, began to experiment with cuddle partners who we are not naturally attracted to. And, perhaps we would be able to begin to see and enjoy our fellow humans a little more for their innate humanity. And a little less just for their physical attributes.

    Just saying...

  • CatloafCatloaf
    edited April 2019

    Wow... Mbaguy. That statement was totally out of left field and not at all related to the post. I can almost tell what you're about. I'm willing to bet you go to Thailand quote unquote for the scenery, right?

    EDIT... Just noticed he is banned and I'm not surprised.

    Sarah Belle has got it right, as a side note. Love the positive energy!

  • iloveyoutodayiloveyoutoday

    Well... I signed up 3 days ago and have not looked at it much at all. I understand that I’m too busy and I’m only looking for stimulating conversation. By that I mean poetry and mind expanding experiences outside of use of hallucinogenics.

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