What happen to the non pros

ChocolatetreatChocolatetreat
edited April 2019 in General

I remember when this site first started it was half pro and half non pro i met a couple non pros we cuddled and it was great. Shortly after they become pros i get it people have the right to charge. I have never paid for a cuddle session and prefer cuddling with non pros but this site has changed when you search for cuddlers 90% of them are pros and not a lot non pros left anybody know why? I hope money is not becoming everybody's motivate what happen to the people who genuinely love to cuddle.

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Comments

  • [Deleted User]JLM (deleted user)

    I would assume a lot of female enthusiasts that wouldn’t really want to go pro head for the hills based on the quality of contacts they get. I’m mainly here out of curiosity and I like to read the forums, but I primarily get one sentence messages from guys without profile pictures requesting to schedule an appointment like I’m gonna rotate their tires or something.

    I also don’t have a profile picture or much to my profile because I’m in no hurry to actually meet somebody. Should that change I would probably enhance my profile with more information and a picture. But the difference is I’m not sending messages to people.

  • UKGuyUKGuy

    When this site first started there were no pros at all. Go back and read some of the early discussions. In my area (a huge metropolitan area), there are quite a few female non-pros but they do not respond to messages, not even a polite "Hello, welcome to the site". Many seem to go inactive pretty quickly or never logon again. About 50% disappear within 3 months.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    ukguy is correct. I would put the figure higher than 50 percent after three months but in general he is correct. I think this would be disturbing for most sites but I think they do not care ever since the site became monetized.

  • CatloafCatloaf
    edited April 2019

    Non-pro ladies often get flooded with messages since they are very in demand. Like a lot of sites, once they are bombarded with messages (often unsavory ones), they might give up hope of finding anybody whose intent lines up with theirs and they leave or don't log in for a few months, only checking periodically to see if anything has changed. Add to the fact that the concept and purpose of CC is so misunderstood by the general populace, and you have a recipe for non-pros being rarer to find in this giant casserole.

    I've put out ads on sites in order to try and recruit more female enthusiasts in my city to join the site, since I'd like to see people who don't want to hire a pro having a fair shot. It's been hard, but it paid off a bit. I think there are something like 5 active ladies now who log in weekly or semi-weekly compared to the single lone one who was here when I joined.

    However, just because you message them doesn't mean they'll respond, or owe you a response. They'll treat it like every other site where you can meet people, and that's to be expected.

  • [Deleted User]JLM (deleted user)

    Also, speaking as somebody who loves to cuddle, platonic cuddling is outside of the mainstream. It is skipping to a level of physical intimacy that usually is thought of as part of romantic relationships. Matching with another human being in any context is hard.

  • Lev136Lev136

    @Catloaf, my experience is that non - pros. don't see it that it isn't automatic that you will find the right match. Others just just at your physical traits rather than whether or not you are a person who might be a good cuddler. Just my thoughts.

  • EsquireEsquire

    @JLM

    I don't get why you bother to have a blank profile. No catchy Username, no Preferences, no picture. You get out what you put into it.

  • [Deleted User]JLM (deleted user)

    @Esquire I agree and if I wanted to get more out of it I would put more in. I like reading the forum.

  • CatloafCatloaf

    @Lev136 You're right that a lot of times there is impatience, and physical traits are taken into account when selecting someone to cuddle with. I think that at some point everybody is guilty of this. As a professional, I cannot judge my clients because they are paying for a service, and I'm here to meet their needs...not the other way around. As an enthusiast, I think all body types are lovely, though because I have cuddled with my husband for the last 8 years I've known him I would be most comfortable with stocky (or even chubby), mid-heighth men (about 5'7 -'5'9) and either body type when it comes to women. A lot of people might have their preferences set so specifically because they are trying to mimic cuddles with their partner, or the experiences they've already had and they are maybe intimidated to meet someone who doesn't fall within that. Others are a bit picky, I'll definitely agree with that. I would say that age group is another factor. It seems older folks have a harder time, regardless of how many assumably desirable physical traits they have.

    The other thing is, even if you're the kindest, most wonderful cuddler with a heart of gold and soft billowy clouds for arms, it doesn't mean that someone is going to cuddle you, or be compatible with you. They teach you this at Cuddle Party that just because you've shown up, that doesn't guarantee anything! This is very intimate stuff, and you are looking for someone who is going to appreciate you for you, be very close at a level that society assumes to be reserved for a relationship, and connect with you in a life-giving way. That's probably going to be the hardest thing to find on any site where you can meet people, as well as in the real world.

  • Lev136Lev136

    @ catloaf, I am also finding that both professionals (newer ones) and non - professionals think this is easy. Just post about yourself and they will come. This is very much like dating, you have to find the right person and someone who will want to cuddle with you, and is comparable.

  • CatloafCatloaf

    I wholeheartedly agree that it is a bit like dating. Plus, we've built ourselves into this society where instant gratification is the new norm. You can't microwave friendship or a genuine connection. Our insta-culture unfortunately doesn't mix well with the very human aspect of things where time needs to take its place in order to give us the safest and best possible outcome.

  • TransGirlTransGirl

    I have been a female pro cuddler since February. I've had 3 paid sessions with men. These sessions went well.

    My profile page gets frequent visitors with the overwhelming majority being men. Oddly, most of these men have no profile photo or profile description.

    The exceedingly tiny number of women who do visit my page are from other parts of the USA. These women are also pros.

    Recently I have wondered about becoming non-pro and accepting women only. I got this idea last week when I had a surprise cuddling experience with a woman I met in a coffee shoppe. I was huddled in a booth reading my book and sipping tea when she asked to join me. Instead of sitting opposite me as I would have expected, she snuggled in close right next to me. I thought it was unusual but did not feel uncomfortable with her presence. After all, she was charming, beautiful and what was not to like.

    After a while we ended up cuddling in the booth, and it was gloriously delightful. It was a simple and natural situation. I have enjoyed cuddling with men, but the dynamic I discovered with her was very different than what I encounter with men. Now I understand why men want to cuddle with women. LOL

    After that marvelous experience I found out that she lives in Northern California and was just in San Diego for the weekend. So now I want to snuggle with a woman again and use CC to find another girl.

    I think my chances of meeting another non-pro CC woman would be much improved if I were downgraded to an amateur cuddler. But I have no clue as to how that is accomplished. I haven't found any instructions on this site.

  • CatloafCatloaf

    @VictoriaRose That was such a lovely experience to read. <3 Reading and it turns into a blissful cuddle, oh em gee, you struck a jackpot. Maybe you have to message @Mark about downgrading.

  • TransGirlTransGirl

    @Catloaf It was indeed a lovely experience. It turned my head and heart around. With that one woman I experienced a kind of bliss I had never felt before. I did not feel a jumpy, nervous and pulse pounding set of emotions. Instead it was like drifting along the Seine in a row boat. It was like walking by a field of flowers in Austria. I felt touched by serenity and the eternity of nature. <3

    Now I find myself looking at women and imagining them as possible cuddle partners. It gives me a warm feeling inside thinking about holding another woman without the pressure of sex.

    Thank you for your advice about messaging @Mark about downgrading. :3

  • UKGuyUKGuy

    @VictoriaRose - I've come across lots of women on this site who cuddle only other women. And many of them describe themselves as 'straight'. However, bear in mind you could also end up partnering with women who are not straight.

  • TransGirlTransGirl
    edited April 2019

    @UKGuy - Thank you for the cautionary warning about non straight women. I shall be mindful of that when seeking another woman for platonic cuddling on CC.

    On the other hand, I don't think a gay woman would be any more likely to push the boundaries in a cuddling session than a straight woman. Or maybe you meant to imply something else?

  • ChocolatetreatChocolatetreat

    Interesting.... so a lot of non pros only cuddle with women???? Kind of like going to the club and girls only want to cuddle with there friends lol

  • JasonCuddlesJasonCuddles

    ...Just because a woman isn't straight it doesn't mean that they're going to pressure you for sex, or even want to make things sexual even if you did want to. Maybe I am naive, but the idea that things are always pushed to be sexual seems ridiculous to me.

  • [Deleted User]SJSpooner (deleted user)

    @JasonCuddles - I tend to agree. In fact, yes I agree! I hardly think that a non-straight woman is going to "pose" on here as a straight woman who only cuddles other women in the hopes of actually pressuring their "cuddle victim" into non-consensual sexual activity. Just not very likely.

    Has it happened? Yes, I imagine it has in the history of platonic cuddling. Would it be a huge concern to me? No - it would not be.

    I was going to jump in on this, but now I don't need to! ;-) Ok, well yeah - I guess I jumped in anyway...

  • laylanielaylanie

    Honestly, I respond equally, but I tend to have better conversations with women and feel more comfortable saying yes to meeting a woman more than a man only because a lot of the time, women tend to be nicer about setting up a session and communicate waaay better about expectations. I don't know if my input is valid for this site since I tend to have better luck on other platforms for my area, but that's my 2 cents.

  • HappinessHenryHappinessHenry

    If I started a No Pro Cuddle Co (For amateurs only) site - not as competition to this one but as a smaller, specialist niche market adjunct - how many of you would at least give it a go, please?

  • ChocolatetreatChocolatetreat

    @HappinessHenry I'm pretty sure a lot of people would join

  • [Deleted User]chococuddles (deleted user)

    @HappinessHenry Fine idea. I'm guessing it would be 90% guys and then 95% guys. Also guessing some of the girls might try to charge behind your back. Fun little group it would be, tho.

  • CatloafCatloaf

    What the choco said.

  • SashamcgeeSashamcgee

    Honestly part of my decision to stay pro has been the safety factor and mindset. People willing to pay for cuddles are looking for the therapeutic benefits of touch. Enthusiasts seem to just have a different mindset. It's like anything, being willing to invest a little shows more of a commitment to it. I'm not sure if I'm making sense lol buuut I hope I am.

  • MarkMark Mod
    edited April 2019

    @Chocolatetreat We have quite purposefully not changed the main public-facing pages to ensure the appeal to enthusiasts remains the same. You'll notice very minimal mention of Professional Cuddling. The 'About' and 'How It Works' pages don't even make a single reference to it.

    I don't believe we have less female enthusiasts joining. Instead, I think you're getting that impression due to the more active accounts happening to belong to professionals. The search results by default prioritise by activity, it just so happens that the Pros tend to log-on more often and thus dominate the top results. However, you can hide Pros via the filters.

    The core purpose of this website has not changed. Our focus is on the enthusiast community. Not only because that is what this website has always been about and is something that matters to me personally. But even from a business perspective, enthusiast activity acts as a valuable gateway to professional cuddling for those inclined.

  • Randy444Randy444

    I am a man who is not a pro. I have hired one pro female on two different occasions. We followed all the rules and the Cuddle Session was fabulous. It did wonders for my mood and well being. I was going through a divorce and hadn't had human touch in a couple of years.
    I was approached by a non pro female to Cuddle. And we did. Again it was wonderful. But she was too far away to keep it going.
    We all posted "Karmas". We rated each other high.
    But after that I couldn't find any non pros to Cuddle. My divorce is final, right now I can't afford a pro. And my one "freind" is too far away.
    I understand women are bit more cautious...but my profile is fairly detailed, my "Karmas" are good.
    I don't get it.

  • TouchIsTLCTouchIsTLC

    I would argue that a lot of females join, I message some of them, we chat once or twice and then a week or two later they have become pros, because why cuddle for free when I can get paid - they think I still get what I want AND I get money??? My assumption, because --> They didn't know anything about pros or have plans to be a pro in our first exchange or two... I also notice a lot of them are gone in the first month or two after or haven't logged in for weeks or even more than a month since "turning pro."

  • UKGuyUKGuy

    @Sashamcgee - I don't think that being able to hire a pro necessarily shows more commitment to anything; what it does show is they have more disposable income.

  • MarkMark Mod
    edited April 2019

    @TouchIsTLC I find that very disappointing if true.

    Are you sure most of them are genuinely here to be an enthusiast? Many Pros mistakenly join with standard accounts as a result of our limited references to professional cuddling. They typically soon realise their mistake and upgrade their accounts through the approval process. Others do this intentionally but later are forced to upgrade if suitable.

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