I notice there are some people who are very religious and conflicted about cuddling. Would you be willing to help answer some questions I have for my book in regards to this topic? If so, message me. Thank you!
As a Christian I was very hesitant about cuddling at the beginning.
When I came across Cuddle Comfort, it had been about eight years since my divorce and there was no real source of touch in my life. Like many people, I only associated cuddling with sex and romance. So I had resigned myself to never having a way to give or receive physical affection again (unless I remarried).
But here was this new concept of "platonic cuddling", which sounded perfect -- if it was what it seemed to be. I did have mixed feelings though. I was really missing touch, but I didn't want to cross any lines (physically or emotionally) or do anything against my conscience. I prayed about it and seemed to get a green light.
I messaged a lot of people without any replies, then I decided to see a professional. I appreciated having an official Client Agreement, because it added another layer of safety. Just to be careful, the person I booked was a Christian too. That was a public cuddle in a cinema, and just small touches impacted me very powerfully because it had been so long.
Fast forward a little bit to my third cuddle (with a different person), which was an incredible experience. I've since cuddled her many times (though she's not around now), and I have learned so much:
-- it's a person's values that matter. If their motives are just to cuddle in a platonic way, then it doesn't really matter who they are.
-- it is totally possible (and relatively easy) to separate affection from romance. That surprised me a lot. I love and am very grateful for the concept of "platonic affection". A few years ago I would never have imagined stroking a stranger's arm or neck in a completely innocent way, but it feels very natural now.
-- I knew this already, but it has been reinforced: boundaries are very cool. If you and the person you are cuddling have clearly agreed boundaries, it makes things so relaxing and fun.
-- emotional boundaries are important too. Spending a lot of time in someone's arms and coming to a place of trust can potentially cause a tug on your heart. It's just a matter of being self aware and being clear about what the relationship is. An internal "reset" can help: a reminder that this is just someone I cuddle -- I value and appreciate them, but neither of us wants anything other than a platonic relationship.
-- touch (and oxytocin etc.) can cause people to lower their guard and feel close to someone fairly quickly, even if they only met an hour before. I can understand (very well) other Christians feeling hesitant to be "intimate with a stranger". But if it's platonic and innocent, it's more like being honest and real with someone quicker than you normally would. It's a way of giving and receiving love (the "love languages" book was written by a Christian by the way), caring for another person and coming into each other's world in a way that might not have otherwise happened.