The low that comes when the cuddles stop

WendyDWendyD
in General

Is it just me or does anyone else on here feel bereft once the cuddling is over? It really isn’t “falling in love with my cuddler” or anything like that... but when he’s gone home I feel very low and tearful for a couple of days... I also experience anxiety that I will never, ever be cuddled again (by anyone, not just that specific cuddler). Does it get easier? At the moment I only have two cuddle buddies and probably get cuddled on average once a month... I think I can’t quite believe I’ve found what I’ve been searching for for years on this site and not want to lose it!

Comments

  • laylanielaylanie

    Oh god, yes. Those lows hurt like a b**** too.
    That's usually when my burrito blanket habit is at it's worst. I usually get hit with that about a day afterwards and the only way I can describe it is this elephant sitting on my chest so that I can't breath and my head in a fog so bad that I feel like I should be sick or that maybe I have a headache, but no physical pain.

    I don't know if it gets better but I really hope so. Talking seems to help a bit, but at the same time, I do go through bouts where I really don't want to put the effort into conversations. I just want to sit in comfortable silence and not worry if I'm freaking out the other person. So I go to find it and the vicious cycle begins again...

  • Fredrick_HugsFredrick_Hugs

    Sounds as if you're experiencing a version of sub-drop. Thankfully my experiences have been very mild. I would suggest you look it up so that you can take measures to deal with it.

  • pmvinespmvines

    cuddle hangover

  • [Deleted User]denveromelette (deleted user)

    Sounds like you may have an anxiety disorder. I think it is natural to feel a bit of a dip in your mood after. But to have such severe anxiety and be brought to tears seems something to address. You may want to to get a beta blocker or something to curb that level of anxiety.

  • CeVnteCeVnte
    edited April 2019

    I am with you Wendyburfitt. I have definitely fallen into a funk when the cuddling stopped. You see, I don't cuddle with just anybody, I know my cuddlers, very well. If I knew I would see her again I could look forward to our next experience, but if It was goodbye forever, it was a change in my whole life.. A loss of a friend and wonderful relationship. How could I not be in a funk?

  • SashamcgeeSashamcgee

    Anytime you release a bunch of endorphins and feel good chemicals you can end up with a drop after. Some people are more sensitive to these things than others. Basically you are going through withdrawal. So the best thing to do is self care. Chocolate and carbs will give you a chemical boost. A bath, blanket, stuffy snuggles, silly movies. Anything that makes you happy. And maybe talk to your cuddle buddies and see if they don't mind checking in on you the next day and maybe the day after that. That could help with the fear of never being cuddled again. And I'm sure if you tell them it would be great to hear from them that they would be more than happy to help.

    Good luck dears!

  • respectfulrespectful

    Here's a related thread from a while ago:

    Do you feel sad after your cuddling session is over?

  • [Deleted User]CharlesTwisted (deleted user)

    @wendyburfitt

    You are certainly not alone.

    I feel that “drop”, which I think of as the come down, after virtually anything that was truly pleasurable, creative, difficult, or emotional.

    Most often as a performer (well, every-time) but also in things that are only about myself, like finishing a crochet project, or a book, or a good meal I’ve made.

    What I’ve found works for me is to honor that feeling, recognize it as the acknowledgment that I had an experience worthy of such emotion, give it an hour/day/weekend, and then find the next experience.

    It’s something that I’ve learned to use as fuel, and I always have a project on hand, or the next performance scheduled, or another practice session to keep me focused.

    But, experiencing it myself, it seems totally normal, and the trick is learning that it is temporary, not the sign of a never-ending grief to come.

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    It's like a sugar crash.

    Cuddle crash.

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