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BooksnTeasBooksnTeas
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Hello!!
I'm looking to be nurtured a lot with cuddles, and for me it feels age in-appropriate to get them from people much younger than me. Nothing wrong with cuddling anyone, but I feel like younger people deserve a different kind of relationship from me, and I'm not up for offering it in this area of my life. But.. I really don't think younger folks need to hear this from me directly. Nor do I want to not respond and lead someone towards feeling rejected with no reason why. Is there a way to change the settings so that I'm not approached by younger folks?
Is anyone else dealing with concerns or feelings around age differentials and boundaries?

Comments

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    I do not think there is a way to prevent them, but I understand what you are saying. I tend to prefer 40 plus but sometimes you have to go younger because that is what is available if you really need cuddles.

  • [Deleted User]SJSpooner (deleted user)

    @BooksnTeas - I hear what you are saying about preferring to get your cuddles from people of a certain age range. I have my own reasons for having my particular age range set the way I do.

    One thing that I have found on here is that it doesn't really matter what you say in your profile - you will get approached by people who are far outside your range. I get messages from men 20 years younger than my preferred range! People don't read or they don't pay attention/don't care and they try to convince you that they "are not like all the other guys their age".

    So, no - you can't change the settings on here. So your choices when on the receiving end of a message are ignore or respond. At this point, I pretty much have my "pat" answer for those who are much too young. I am polite but adamant (that they are out of my preferred age range) and wish them luck and hit send. No explanation about why I have my particular age preference necessary. None. None at all.

  • BooksnTeasBooksnTeas

    @SJSpooner
    Yes I hear you.
    It's awkward because I feel like when I'm writing "I am not cuddling with people under this age" that it's reading as "cuddling is sexual for me" which is not what I want to get across. It seems like there's nothing good enough to say.
    But alas, a response is better than none, I think.
    Thanks for your thoughtful reply.

  • BooksnTeasBooksnTeas

    @FunCartel
    Yeah, in my case I can't need cuddles more than care for this boundary. But I hear you, seems as we get older there's less people available for cuddles :(

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @BooksnTeas Well, it depends on the area I am in. There are some areas I travel to where cuddlers are sparse. If they are young I chat them up more to gauge their intelligence, maturity and sanity. If they are above average then I can deal. But too often cuddling someone younger is awkward because they are usually inexperienced and we have absolutely nothing—music, experiences, etc—in common.

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