Life is busy and although I love the idea of platonic cuddling, at least for me it requires the right person and opportunities to travel are limited. I don’t want to waste someone’s time by texting and then not follow through. Therefore I pop on from time to time, enjoy reading here and wait patiently for the right opportunity.
@happybear I agree. Communication us crucial.
The cuddler didn't work out, so I'm back to square one. I'm much more confident with my decisions now and putting up strict boundaries. I reported the cuddler that was inappropriate and he was banned almost immediately. There are good people out there and I appreciate everyone's support.
To happy cuddling..
I thought this was a great thread to resurrect as it was ripe with thoughtful discussion and relevant to the spirit of this venue. Besides it seems more germane to the site now than it did months ago.
Ciao
@FunCartel @Mark
Found it interesting that one young woman ( @Catloaf ) admitted to being lawless, having few boundaries and having been banned via her IP address. I thought persons were banned, not hardware, and that it was permanent & lifetime. Have I misread the rule? Having read a lot of old threads, it looks like one standard for women, another for men.
@HoneyBooBoo: The great thing about people is that they can improve. They don't always—but it's great when they do.
The interesting thing about bans is that you can't ban a person. No website can tell who's using the computer, or phone, or whatever, that's making the online connection. About the best you can do is say "no" to every device that happens to be at the same IP address as the one used by whoever it is you want to ban... and if that person goes to a different spot, well.
@DarrenWalker You are correct, but when it comes to something like this, how do we know someone has improved? I know for a fact there are professionals here without boundaries and breaking rules. No one says that is currently the case (or they would get banned). It's all kept secret. Clients won't report someone, or it is VERY unlikely at least. All we really have to go on is the past or the off chance of a new report. In person, I'm all for second chances, but we're trying to create a safe place and a lawful site. If we make an exception for one person, we need to make an exception for every pro who was ever banned and comes back saying "I've changed". We flag regular users who are the same people who have been banned in the past. Why not professionals? I'm not saying this person is a bad person, but just that it's a little hypocritical and not necessarily good for the site as a whole to make a practice out of it ?
@ubergigglefritz: Pros who've been banned in the past aren't flagged? But enthusiasts are?
Yeah, that seems wrong.
@HoneyBooBoo care to elaborate on when and where @Catloaf posted this?
@SoulcuddlerZ on the first page of thread
@DarrenWalker Apparently. I know previously banned enthusiasts are. I never knew that previously banned professionals aren't... ?
@ubergigglefritz: Unless I'm misreading Catloaf's post, though, she wasn't a pro when she got banned. Not that that would make a difference to the appropriateness of a flag, but still... somehow getting banned as an enthusiast seems less serious than if you got banned while trying to earn income through the site.
@DarrenWalker No. The word "cuddler" and timeline indicates she was a pro. Professional since Nov 2016, joined CC June 2017, banned, returned Jan 2018 after a lot of thought and growth. Something like that, since she also said few months. I don't know. I'm just going off of what was said ?
@SoulcuddlerZ , I went back to flag it. To me it reads she was a pro at the time
Very well. This shall be looked into. Second chances DO happen, in limited scenarios.
Do they happen for enthusiasts as well?
Yes, also in limited scenarios.
Shouldn't second chances be dispensed by management or a Mod, not unilaterally taken by the banned person?
Because she is female, she will not be banned. Isn't setting up a second account a bannable action?
This is like a vampire or zombie movie. So @Catloaf is the undead? Is there a cuddle client named Renfield sitting in a locked room somewhere eating flies?
@HoneyBooBoo Yes, and that's something to be considered in the investigation that follows. Various factors will be considered to determine whether she's allowed to remain. Simply being female is not one of them, as you have implied.
I was aware of Catloaf's history - she has openly declared it on more than one occasion here. But as mentioned above, we do occasionally give second chances. That applies to all member types.
I'm satisfied that Catloaf respects this community and platform and see no reason to take any action.
A new time record for an investigation. Bravo.
@catloaf has been a great addition to the community. It was a decision made by @mark, site owner and chief operator, to let her return. This was quite some time ago, didnt just happen even though it is currently a topic of discussion. I do not believe he would have allowed this if it were a liability to his site. Gender has nothing to do with it as i have seen other banned folks return. One guy was banned for maybe 2 hrs and account was restored. In my personal opinion i think he should have stayed banned. However its not my decision, plus i recognize my opinion is influenced by my distaste for the person to whom i am referring and not on his deeds. Good reason for me to not be a mod.
@HoneyBooBoo She wasn't investigated. I told @SoulcuddlerZ it wasn't necessary.
I have often seen the operators of the ban button here to be somewhat heavy-handed. I’ve accepted the fact that Mark owns the site and his minions do his bidding, and they all do the best that they can with the tools with which they’ve been blessed. I have to say that this is the first I’ve heard of anyone being forgiven or granted redemption. I assume it can be time consuming to investigate the case of anyone who begs for a second chance, and maybe risky, too. It’s much easier to say no. I’m glad to hear that second chances are granted, though they might be counted on the fingers (or thumb) of one hand.
Mark owns the site and his minions do his bidding
@mickcuddle Just to clarify something, it's rare for me to send requests to the moderators here. They generally do everything independent of me. They look at reports, pause, unpause, ban and unban.
My involvement tends to be with the occasional appeal or where a difficult case warrants a second opinion or where I personally have additional insight, like the above.
@Mark There is no misunderstanding there. I simply mean that you have chosen those few who hold the moderator authority and given them a clear expectation of their job. There would be no reason for you to instruct a moderator to ban anyone. You could, and I assume occasionally do, perform that task yourself without assistance. But with a couple hundred thousand names in the barrel it only stands to reason that you need to delegate.
@pmvines it's one thing for someone to be banned and then determined they shouldn't have been, or it was unnecessary (as I assume was the case when someone was banned for a mere two hours). It's another thing entirely for someone to be banned, deemed worthy of being banned, and then allowed to return at a later dare through learning their lesson and changing their tune. That's fine with me as long as it works both ways (I know it doesn't actually matter what I'm fine with, lol). I am not aware of a male enthusiast being banned for breaking rules and then returning later after learning what platonic cuddling is.
I feel that male enthusiasts are pretty quickly lynched by professionals and the mods respond very well to that. They even point out when people return (recognize the picture) and the person is banned again. I don't think we have quite that level of a team against professionals breaking rules. The only people who really know are the client (typically, I am sure there are exceptions), and they're not going to say anything because most of them are looking for and happy with their illegal service ? That or they simply don't know, because many people on here are new to this world and have never had a legitimate session before. All we have to go on is their pictures, and professionals then get defensive on their choice of picture, lol ? I have reported one person's picture multiple times and it and she is still here... I don't know. ?
It’s so weird when you’ve been seemingly having multiple pleasant chats with someone then POOF! GONE!
I think bans should be handled the way the lives of gladiators were determined—thumbs up or thumbs down.
My observation is around 50% of the female cuddlers that I bookmark are gone within three months, either banned, deleted or deactivated.