New here and have Questions

makuumakuu
in General

I've never used this service before. I completely understand and accept that this is all strictly platonic. Here's the question:

I'm here because I'm lonely and I want some affection. I am however a 19 year old red blooded male. I'm nervous because if I ever cuddle with someone I will most likely get aroused. I can and will control myself. But if I get a boner, is that breaching the guidelines? I don't mean to be gross. This is a serious dilemma to me. I don't want anyone to be uncomfortable with me. Please let me know ASAP what the answer to my dilemma is. Thanks.

Comments

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)
    edited May 2019

    This is a common question. The answer, basically, is this: No problem. Change positions so you don't poke anybody. Then ignore it and it'll go away.

    A reflex action isn't a breach of the guidelines. Just don't encourage it and you're fine.

  • makuumakuu

    much appreciated ;)

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)
    edited May 2019

    Sure thing, man. Good luck! It's a great site.

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited May 2019

    @Makuu welcome, I am @Lovelight your virtual assistant. lol. Joking.

    I second @DarrenWalker.

    My advice:

    While, I don't want to get into this explicitly. It might help to release yourself a few days, or so, prior to meeting your cuddle buddy. If you don't understand this, or it isn't your thing, don't worry about it. It's just so, it might decrease any built up tension you might have. You can also go out for jogs, meditate, paint/draw, etc., to help you become calmer, overall.

    Second. If you watch shows, movies, etc., with your cuddle partner, I'd advice to keep them family friendly.

    You still could get a reaction for any number of reasons. Though, these are just some things that can help.

    Being a woman, I can't advice much with this. Though, I think from what I heard around here, it gets easier. When you are new to platonic cuddles, especially say, you went so long with little to no touch: (not sure how to word it best) you become "touch sensitive" most touch may* trigger it. Though, as you continue to take some of these tips, and whatever else you discover helps: it'll get easier to ignore it, and enjoy the comforting, platonic touch. As long as both parties adhere to the rules, there's no issue. If you think any other things, places, etc., are common triggers for you: then, adjust yourself accordingly to help decrease, and ignore/redirect your attention for a bit, or so.

  • ReltvlyCanshesReltvlyCanshes

    @makuu at the tender age of 19 I’d believe it be very difficult to control that no matter what you do. Just manage your response to it, adjust and be respectful. You’ll have plenty of time learning that you get those reactions all the time without being able to do anything about it in non-platonic situations in the future anyway, just consider this practice.

  • satukosatuko

    IMO at 19 yo, you should have plenty of people to cuddle with, also are you able to afford their fees? Just a thought....

  • DaForceofNatureDaForceofNature

    @satuko let's not judge who should have what at any age.
    In Americas sex obsessed culture, platonic touch can be hard to find for anyone. To be able to find a person who will cuddle without the expectation it lead to more is an amazing thing.

  • satukosatuko

    @DaForceofNature I'm NOT judging, as I stated on my post-IN MY OPINION. So it is only "my personal opinion" on a forum.

  • DaForceofNatureDaForceofNature

    LOL, got it.
    @makuu As stated by others, erections are common in cuddling. If you are respectful & don't grind it against your cuddles person, no one should have any issues with it. It might help to look for a cuddle buddy you aren't super sexually attracted to. Then the potential for unwanted arousal could be lessened.
    I hope you find a great partner to cuddle!

  • HoneyBooBooHoneyBooBoo
    edited May 2019

    A 19 year old will have an extremely hard time getting a cuddle buddy, Pro or not. The point of your concern may be moot.

    I noticed your religious faith is Islam, isn't this sort of intimate activity, unchaperoned, against your beliefs?

  • DaForceofNatureDaForceofNature

    As a Pro, I've seen young men. In fact my favorite cuddle (so far) was from fella in his early 20's who was very respectful and enjoyable. Come to think of it, He was better behaved than any of the older men I've cuddled.

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited May 2019

    @HoneyBooBoo I'd advice that is a sensitive, and complicated thing to question. Though, I'd also advice @makuu to take their religion out. As it can create tons of internal, in addition to external issues. Anyone is free to follow or, not these advice. If someone does ask, you MAY* say, you'd rather not discuss religion. If they don't respect that, wave good bye.

    Though, to try to answer you. There is predominant Islam, that is, wildly recognized: Sunni Islam

    There are others, minority sectors of Islam: under-recognized, looked down upon by some in the majority. Even who suffer at their hands. One of those being: Shia Islam

    Due to the difference in sectors, their rules may vary. Then, there are some EXTREMES who demand things such as women MUST cover from head to toe, including their faces. Even some saying, to leave one eye uncovered to allow her to see the way. Along with a bunch of other absurdly nonsense in the religion, and religions in general. It's also virtually impossible to leave it for many, as they suffer reprocussions that you may know about.

    All these things religion, especially, Islam can be very restricting for virtually everyone involved, along with those not involved: as they too are subject to being seen as inferior, and are subject to harm.

    Many religions, some more extreme then others, demand that the people refrain from sexe, unless married. This affects women even more. They try to fit everyone, and anyone into absurd boxes. Many who try to meet the "status que" try to take the less "sinful" routes. Such as platonic cuddling. Which even that for some is "the end of the world" and worth extreme punishments. Though, as humans we've needs that shouldn't be restricted by others. So, some in the religion, I suppose try to in some cases make up their own rules. Along with all the complexity in the religion being taken into account. Although, Islam due to the major sector, is not one, and only kind sharing the same rules, and whatnot. Unfortunately, some in the dominant type don't even, recognize the other sectors as Islam. Thus, subjecting them to all kinds of mistreatments.

  • seanpaul425seanpaul425

    Funniest thing is I’m new to this site and asked the same thing about a month ago. Literally same exact wording and my profile was banned hmmm maybe cause I’m brown skinned but it’s just really funny.

  • pmvinespmvines

    Use common sense. I am sure you had sex ed in school and have plenty of experience with boners. Do as you would any other time you got one when you did not want one. Does it require a dissertation ?

  • WorthyWorthy

    As a woman and new to cuddling, it’s happened every time to every man I’ve cuddled with. It’s to be expected. No big deal. When the guy worries about it I remind him at 49, I am a grown ass woman and it’s fine.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    All it means is if you get poked in the eye you are in a cuddle position I am not privy to.

  • HappinessHenryHappinessHenry

    @makuu ERECTIONS are like ELECTIONS. Not always wanted but a crucial part of life all the same.

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