Ask a non pro female cuddler

WorthyWorthy
in General

I haven’t been here long but in reading the threads I do sense frustration on the part of some, especially men. I’m no expert but if you have questions or are seeking feedback i’m Happy to give it a go and hope others, both male and female will join in. My one opinion is just that but i’m Willing to offer it if you like. ?

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Comments

  • HappinessHenryHappinessHenry

    Dear @Worthy is there life after death please?

  • WorthyWorthy

    Dear @HappinessHenry , of course there is. Streets are lined with emeralds and gold. Taco trucks and free cuddles on every corner. In the afterlife margaritas, pasta and bread are health foods. ????

  • UKGuyUKGuy
    edited May 2019

    I'm sure your post had kind intentions but I don't think there's any magic formula to counteract the over-abundance of men on this site and the lack of enthusiast women. Or the preference for young over old. There have already been many threads on how to compose messages, what to say and what not to say etc. etc.

  • WorthyWorthy

    Uh huh. Things are becoming more clear.

  • [Deleted User]CharlesTwisted (deleted user)

    For the most part, as a man you simply have to get used to rejection, and deal with it by not taking it too personally, and by sheer stubborn persistence.

    I expect 99 “No’s” for every 1 “Yes.”

  • SnowboundSnowbound

    Just for knowing, how significant is the gender ratio? Something like 80/20?

  • WorthyWorthy

    The rejection is hard for me to wrap my head around. I respond to all folks unless it looks like a fake profile or they are inappropriate. I am a very boundaried person and can say thanks but no thanks if it’s not for me.

  • mickcuddlemickcuddle

    I’m old and gay, so not on almost anybody’s Cuddle wish list. When I see someone I might like as a platonic friend with cuddle benefits (PFCB) I send a polite note commenting on something in their profile, the area in which they live or their profile photo. It works great; I hardly ever get a rejection letter. Actually, the weak point in my method is that I hardly ever get a response at all.

  • WorthyWorthy

    Btw I am chatting with a most lovely 79 year old man I would be happy to cuddle with. Very interesting and neat guy. I am 49 and non pro.

  • ReltvlyCanshesReltvlyCanshes

    I think the nonresponse is the worst, I’d rather a rejection personally. Even though i sometimes don’t like the reason i can at least accept it.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited May 2019

    I am not getting what the problem is with some guys not getting responses. I have a pretty full cuddle dance card this week with little problem—all non-pros. A trip in a couple of weeks also pretty full. I am curious what the initial message guys are sending. When I get home this weekend I have a cuddler waiting for me as well. This week I sent out maybe 8 messages and have three offers which eliminated a fourth offer because she had virtually no communication skills.

  • WorthyWorthy
    edited May 2019

    @FunCartel , I’m not getting it either. I respond to every message unless it looks like spam or it is inappropriate. And I don’t get the ageism.

  • WorthyWorthy

    And i’m No beauty queen. I am a middle aged overweight woman.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited May 2019

    @Worthy I have cuddled with all ages, but I must say I prefer 35+ because conversationally we will have more cultural touchstones in common and I won’t feel like Uncle Fester.

  • HappinessHenryHappinessHenry

    @Worthy Umm! TACO TRUCKS!

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited May 2019

    While there is a potential to help some. For others it's just a matter of meeting someone who is okay with them no matter their age, appearance, or whatever.

    It's kind of you to reach out, and try to help. ?

    I also, respond others. Unless it's a message that's borderline/inappropriate. Or some kind of issue like that.

    Edit: Even though it says on my my age range, and whatever deal breakers I have. Such individuals do ocassionally contact me. Some express that they'd just like someone to talk with even though, we don't match. Others, I don't know. They miss an important detail, don't bother to read. Or they read it all, proceed to contact in hopes that they are an exception. Or something. I don't know. So, while I can be a bit or so lenient. I know there are some who if you misread, don't read, just wanted to chat, etc., they don't care/just want to connect with someone who matches them. So, some folks are contact people that they are not compatible with whether they are smokers, pet owners, different age range, etc., and that that is a deal breaker for the person they are contacting. I even have some ocassionally thinking I am a pro. One of them recently contacted me, and says they been here since 2017. end of edit.

    One of those I responded, was a man in his 50s. He referred to himself in the message as "mature gentlemen" which I found to be off, and try hard. Though, other than that, it was alright. I responded with, "Hi, I am okay. Sorry, our age range doesn't match."

  • CreativeCuddlesCreativeCuddles

    @Lovelight 50 is a mature gentlemen so I am not sure why it would “be off.” Maybe in addition to your other preferences you should ad an age range to prevent those cuddler’s outside of your preferred age group from contacting you.

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    @CreativeCuddles: A man of 50 is a mature gentleman. If we're talking gentlemen, there must be more than one involved....

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited May 2019

    @DarrenWalker lol. Exactly, I am on the fence like: were more involved. Or was it just a typo/etc.

    @CreativeCuddles I think it's better not to toot one's own horn. Plus, that kind of stuff is more suitable for a profile description. While in messaging let the person make their own mind up about what they think about you/.

    Edit: I am also not sure by what you mean by: “50 is a mature gentlemen.”

    I have my preferred age range already for anyone interested in reading my profile. Though, I generally don’t mind if someone specifies in just having an interest to chat with me: if they don’t match. end of edit.

  • CreativeCuddlesCreativeCuddles

    Whatever you know what the hell I meant.

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited May 2019

    Steps away slowly

    Edit: You just hot headed, or you've a problem with me @CreativeCuddles? I don't even remember speaking with you before now. end of edit.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @Lovelight I think she was talking to Darren on that remark. She should have pointed it out, but I do not think it was directed at you.

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    @FunCartel: Oh hey, you're probably right. Thanks for suggesting that.

    @CreativeCuddles: Yeah, I know what you meant. But typos can be more than usually disconcerting when they're in a foreign language! I feel for @Lovelight here—Japanese is my second language, and it's awful when a typo almost (but doesn't quite) make sense. I mean, "gentlemen" is an actual English word! How confusing.

    Don't worry about it too much, though. Even my perfect English teacher of a mother does typos sometimes....

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited May 2019

    @FunCartel I did point out to anyone I was responding.

    The man said "mature" which can be taken more than one way. The way I initially took is to mean that the person is emotionally/mentally mature. Though, it can also mean the person is simply stating that they are fully grown. If we are to take the former* meaning, then I simply said: I think that's something better reserved for a profile description. It comes off to me as tooting one's own horn. So, I rather someone just let me find that out myself.

    Whereas "men" meaning more than one man could have been a typo* on his part. Or it could have been actually more than one man trying to meet me. He asked how I am, then said: "Mature gentlemen interested in meeting. Thanks"

    So, I am not wrong for being confused with it, and for it being open to interpretation. Edit: likewise, I wasn't sure what @CreativeCuddles meant so, I said* not asked. Then got a "whatever you know what the hell I meant“ end of edit.

  • MelancholyMelancholy

    I'm sure some ignore me cause of no profile pic. But it's also true that every woman has quite a few men messaging them as soon as they create an account. So it's quite difficult to find someone. Even the pros can be a challenge sometimes.

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited May 2019

    @DarrenWalker while I can understand other forms of speech when I use them. I think when others speak with me, I have a tendency to process things literally. Or have various... meanings in my mind. So, I can have difficult knowing which one someone means. So, literal, and as clear form of communication as possible* is best for me to understand. If I don't understand, than I ask for clarification/say that I don't.

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    @Lovelight: Same. I do puns a lot, but have a tendency to either not notice or be confused by the multiple meanings when somebody else makes a pun. Simple and literal is easiest, isn't it?

    Also... pretty sure @FunCartel is right, and @CreativeCuddles's swearing was aimed at me, not you. (I'm pretty swear-worthy. You're not, you're sweet.)

  • LovelightLovelight

    @melancholy some could also ignore you because of your picture. So, it's tough. I am sure you've your reason(s) for not having it. Do whatever makes you most comfortable.

    @DarrenWalker yeah, I just spotted misunderstandings. I don't think you deserve it, either! You just pointed out the literality of it: which seems how we tend to perceive things. Thank you, and @FunCartel.

    @FunCartel I got now what you were speaking about. Sorry, I was a little ticked off by that hostility so, I misread your point.

  • HappinessHenryHappinessHenry

    @DarrenWalker Except...Dr Henry Jekyll; one man yet two gentlemen

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    @HappinessHenry: ...Ooooh. You got me there.

    ...No, wait, wait, hold on a second—can Edward Hyde really be considered a gentleman?

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