What has your experience been? I love going to therapy. I go because I want to grow as a person and live my best life.
Apparently there is still too much stigma around this issue for folks to talk about it. That’s too bad. In My world people who go to therapy are brave and to be commended.
Dear @Worthy
Five years ago a heart procedure triggered constant chronic pain in me which in turn triggered severe (at one point suicidal) depression and anxiety. End of my taken-for-granted, healthy, fit life as I knew it.
CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) with my monthly, partially state funded psychologist and a recent month long private health insurance funded private psychiatric hospital admission keep me going at the moment.
But, for me, it is still very hard.
Other people range from very to not very understanding. My incredible US cuddler penpal and friend seems to take my illness in her stride but my wife, an otherwise perfectly lovely peron, had to leave me as a result. She just could no be around the anxiety and the misery any longer.
And I have even had people, even on this site, cite my condition as a criticism of me.
So, societally, we still have away to go. Thanks for asking.
@Worthy
Sadly, I have the twin issues of living in the United States, and not being wealthy.
So, much as I might like to, or even need to, work with a therapist that can’t happen.
My options are a good network of deep friendships, a hospice/caregiver support group, and my “personal therapies” of drumming, meditation, and edible marijuana.
It suffices as a stop gap/steam release, but is nowhere near treatment, or healing, the issues I have.
So, personally, I have no stigma talking about it, any more than I would about talking about a sprained ankle or broken arm.
Although, I wouldn’t bring it up on an Internet forum, and certainly not one that has as many emotional bullies and weakness predators as this one does.
@CharlesTwisted: "A sprained ankle or a broken arm." ??
I think the main difference between seeing a doctor because something's up with your body and seeing a doctor because something's up with your brain is that, so far as brains go, medical science hasn't gotten much past leeches and magic spells. Yet.
@DarrenWalker Careful there—therapy has worked for a lot of people I know and has not done diddly poo for others. I would never say it is all magic spells. It is merely imperfect.
@CharlesTwisted I would stop making assumptions about being bullied. No one on this thread has done that.
@Worthy I have had multiple heart surgeries stemming from poor kidney function from birth. I fully understand what Henry is talking about and then some only I never needed therapy partially because I have been fighting for my life since birth. I know some go off in depression, I became more of a fitness fanatic. My problem with therapy comes at the hospital level where they come in multiple times and tell you people in my condition can suffer extreme depression and while that can be true, I am not wired that way. Trouble is they will come in 5 or more times during a two week stay and charge heavily for it. That is a huge turn off. No means no.
@FunCartel: And leeches sometimes work, too. So do magic spells, even—the placebo effect is real. I'm not saying the things doctors did in the Middle Ages were completely ineffective. Merely... imperfect.
Hey, science has got to start its work somewhere, right?
I am not going to debate the merits of mental health care with you Darren, especially if you are comparing mental health care in medieval times when you were considered a heretic and locked away. We are light years from that. Just respect it a little for the ones who really do benefit from it. I don’t benefit but I know several that have and I am sure you have known someone.
@HappinessHenry , thank you for sharing. I have your back if anyone here belittles you based on that. I think you are brave and courageous. I admire you greatly.
A boatload of kindness and compassion is warranted here. I judge you harshly if you don’t show it.
Not surprisingly, my divorce left me with some pretty poor self-worth. Initially, I was resistant to the idea of seeing a (talk) therapist, but after two people in two days recommended it, I decided to follow through. It's been very beneficial for me, helping me learn about myself and regain a proper perspective of a lot of things. It's sometimes hard to accept that even though so many sessions end with a sensation that progress, correction, enlightenment or whatever has been accomplished, there are some that feel like nothing was done at all. Worse is when one ends well but five minutes out the door feels like it didn't.
It can be quite a roller coaster ride. You kind of have to be ready to trust the hell out of your therapist and be ready to hurt a little bit sometimes.
Truth told, I'd recommend trying it out to anyone who's considered it.
@Worthy I think everyone understands that so you can drop the condescension. I will judge you harshly if you don’t.
Let’s keep this a judgement and threat free thread.
I am not sure if it's considered therapy or not, but I've been to see someone a couple times before about issues. I think it can be super helpful.
@CharlesTwisted - it may well be that your 'stop-gap' measures are superior to seeing a therapist. If you have a network of deep friendships, you are probably way ahead of most of us.
@Darrenwalker - your brain is a part of your body, and a pretty vital part too since without it your body can't do much. Health care is rapidly evolving to be a whole-body science and the separation between mental and physical aspects will eventually disappear.
@UKGuy: The brain is indeed a part of the body, and I look forward to the day when medical science for the brain catches up to medical science for the rest of the body. It's kind of... behind at the moment.
.
Thank you. That means a great deal.
Therapy can really teach somebody about themselves, I feel. With proper guidance, any therapy session can be like a door to the self and a good time learning what works for oneself to live their daily lives. Some of my friends love to share tips that were given to them from their therapists and I've noticed a lot of them work very well, even for those who are not going to regular therapy. Like breathing techniques, grounding exercises and tricks on how to work with anxiety... a lot of those i even apply to my daily life, even if i'm not exactly in a state where typically folks would consider using these techniques. it really helps keep me grounded so even in a bad state, i'm better at coping.
@StellaLiz: [nodding] Stuff that works for everyone, regardless of their current state of health... it's kind of like getting nine hours of sleep: you don't have to be sick to benefit from it.
I feel better about using things when I'm sick (like chicken soup and sleep, say) if I know they also do helpful stuff for me when I'm healthy. Seems like a sign that they're not going to break anything. Bonus points if it builds strength! "Even in a bad state, I'm better at coping" is a good result.
No offence my lovely @DarrenWalker but chicken soup bounces off clinical depression like BB gun pellets (if you are not too young to be able to Google those) off a top-of-the-range Terminator. I would like to most humbly suggest that you may be making the commonly held confusion between clincal depression and a case of the flu. Love Henry.
Can I chime in from both sides of the fence? I’ve spent years (decades) of my life in and out of therapy and am now an Integrative Therapist.
Part of the reason I trained was because I recognised that there are significant gaps in what traditional therapists do in the room and there’s a wealth of exciting research and techniques based on neurobiology that are incredibly effective that are being used with the public now.
Mental health issues are on the increase, as a society we are getting more and more insular, we are losing our tribal roots. One of the best predictors of robust mental health is how connected a person is to their community - so that’s always one of the first things I talk to clients about. Who actually knows you? Where do you show up?
@HappinessHenry: Chicken soup also does basically nothing for a broken leg. Every malady has its own remedy! I just like the remedies that also function as upkeep, that's all.
(P.S. I used to be pretty good with a BB gun. Could hit a garden fence post at six yards nearly every time!)
I am glad they did not go out with bubblegum.
A LONG WAY FROM HOME From bubblegum to bubble butts Frim BBs to 9 millies From hugging gran to Instagram From home to Home Security
@HappinessHenry: ...I still love bubblegum. Practically have to go to a specialty store to get it anymore. And just plain clove chewing gum? Forget it!
This is one of the downsides of immortality that hardly anyone ever mentions.
Dear @abbey_r you may definitely chime in from both sides of the fence. As CuddleComfort has no rule about not using mixed metaphors.
Thank you.
Where I currently show up in my life is...on this site (too much some might say) as a (some might say) desperate ditch attempt TO connect and have a "community". Albeit a virtual only one.
In the absence of these things always being otherwise available in my none online life.
I probably should for my depression, but I don't have a first born to pay for it. Plus, eh.
Well, I will say that I just started seeing a therapist a few months back. My initial thoughts were like many, its a waste of money and they really don't do anything. I came up in a family where you handle your own affairs, and you don't bring outsiders in. So, that is what was ingrained in me. I'm the oldest child, my mother was a single parent, and worked quite a bit. So, from a young age I had a lot of responsibility. Caring for my siblings when I was 10 years old because my mother had to work. So, that was the story of my life. Caring for others, family, friends, parents, siblings. I was always the one there to help whenever anyone needed it and never really tending to my own needs. Fast forward 3 decades later, a demanding job, home, parents who need support, siblings who can't get it together, and a 5 year old nephew that I took custody of. The straw that broke the camel's back, my spouse walked out last year. Again, I thought I was fine and handling things well. However, I began getting migraines and becoming very irritable. Just getting upset over the least little thing. BUT, I was fine. LOL. After a few of my friends told me that clearly something was bothering me, it was suggested that I see a therapist. It took some convincing, but I went. The first few sessions were tense, mostly because I was very cautious and not really trusting (I think someone mentioned the trust factor above). That was until one day he asked a simple question, "Who do I see when I look in the mirror?" I made a smart comment initially, but he asked again. And you know what? I didn't know, I had no answer at all. At that moment I was so overwhelmed, I cried. This big black guy in tears. I hadn't cried in over 25 plus years. From that moment on, I realized that I needed to figure out a lot of stuff and get figure out who I was and get to know that person that I lost at some point along the way. Currently, I have a great relationship with my therapist. We've built a trusting relationship, and he doesn't push me on things that I'm not ready to talk about, which I love. Just having an outlet that's unbiased and doesn't know me from Adam, and just listens has done wonders for me. I look forward to our sessions as it gives me an outlet. Now, again I agree with one of the posters above, there are days I leave feeling wonderful, then I get home and feel like crap. But overall, its been beneficial for me and I'm no longer ashamed of it. Just my two cents...…..
@Peacefulbreeze (((hugs)))
You and I have a lot in common.
The highest of high praise to you for being a caregiver, a pillar of strength, and a protector, that has the courage to ask for care for yourself, and follow through and do that.
It’s a rare thing, and you should be very proud of yourself.
(Despite what that “tough guy” voice in the back of your head says. That voice LIES. Vilely.)
@Peacefulbreeze , yours is a powerful story. You are very brave. Thank you for sharing.
@abbey_r - and how do you define 'mental health', that we should all strive to attain it?
@Peacefulbreeze you read my post! It sounds like you had the same skepticism before and entering into sessions. What was interesting to me was the number of people I know who are also seeing therapists! It's amazing what you can learn about yourself that you somehow didn't know, and what you can use that information for to improve life moving forward.
I identify the tougher sessions with cracking some eggs to make an omelet. If I've had to endure some tough revelations, it's been worth it to be where I've wound up.
Between my TT (talk therapist) and my CT (cuddle therapist), I'm much more aware of who I am, I'm not such a tightly wound spring, and I've made a lot of recovery from a very chaotic period in my life.