How to say goodbye

MelancholyMelancholy
in General

I havent quiet figured out a good way to say goodbye when you know its the last session and due to geography you may not be able to see or cuddle with that person again.
This isnt about professional cuddling but non pro cuddling where bonds are easily forged and you can feel attached. I have seen many pro cuddlers and sometimes I miss them but I'm not sure what it will feel like when my first non pro who I've seen many times now moves away.
I expect it will be like a sense of loss. I think many of us who seek cuddling are lonely and so losing a cuddle companion can feel like a heartbreak.
Anyway. Just felt like venting a bit.
Have a good day everyone.

Comments

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited May 2019

    Just say “I hate to leave, but the reality is I have to go.” Then hug them. Then one last statement of “I had an awesome time and would do it again if I am ever out this way.”

    This is not a romance site. This is a very temporary experience. Do not overthink it and burden them with your misguided heartbreak.

    Now if you had such a strong bond that would leave unfathomably sorrow you should have asked that person out for a date a long time ago. Unfettering your feelings now just makes you look desperate, indecisive and like you have watched too many Hollywood romance movies where someone chases down someone in an airport at the last minute before they leave—TSA will no longer permit that.

  • WorthyWorthy

    I don't see it as desperate or indecisive. Some folks are more sentimental than others and that's ok. I can see how you would have those feelings when you've shared something as intimate as cuddling with someone.

  • pmvinespmvines

    I play 80s rock ballads and eat ice cream

  • UKGuyUKGuy

    Say what you feel, maybe "I hope we can meet again some day".

  • pmvinespmvines

    I like to believe that if you are meant to cross paths the universe will find a way

  • PeopleLikeUsPeopleLikeUs

    If you're not free to leave, you'll never be free to stay.

  • WendyDWendyD
    edited May 2019

    Keep in touch and visit when possible just like you would do with any other friend who moved away... cant see why cuddle relationships should be any less than ordinary friendships - on the contrary I think they are more important...

  • MelancholyMelancholy
    edited May 2019

    thanks for the comments.
    well for most of them.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited May 2019

    Try this one on—there are plenty of fish in the sea. If your life is busy and has purpose, it should not be full of heartbreak. Especially if it really is platonic cuddling.

    But thanks for the block anyway. Amazing how if you give an opinion and if it is not what they want to hear they run to the closet and lock it. It means they have bigger problems than a cuddler leaving.

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited May 2019

    "Goodbye."

    Which language would you like me to translate it into for you? lol.

    Edit: that wasn't meant to make light of your situation. I can come off as insensitive sometimes, and joke at the wrong times. Though, I hope you found some support! end of edit.

    If I were you Edit: I mean, if I was in your situation end of edit., I'd probably write them a card saying what I liked about them/our connection, and to let them know I appreciate the times we had together. Maybe get them a little gift, as well. Or you could draw them something, if you're artistic. Let them know as much ahead of time as possible that you are relocating. Edit: not sure who's moving. end of edit. Then, the last day you spend together, gift them that. Hope that helps. ?

  • ColouredCrayonsColouredCrayons

    Usually I go with "Thanks I'll see you latter maybe". The world is small and the chances of running into the same person again isn't bad even if they move away because people often go back to the places they have been.

  • HappinessHenryHappinessHenry

  • HappinessHenryHappinessHenry

  • PleasantlyPunkPleasantlyPunk

    @melancholy I don’t know all the details but I don’t see why you couldn’t remain friends and keep talking. I realize that written word and Skype isn’t the same as quiet cuddle time holding someone, but it can be very beneficial to the soul. I have some dear friends from this site that geographically are very far from me, but we talk almost daily and it lifts both our spirits. Yes, I hope that someday I’ll be able to give him a great, long hug and share a snuggle experience (talking to you @HappinessHenry! Lol!) but there is something to be said for friendly interaction.

    I guess my advice in a nutshell is: if you’re able, don’t “lose them.”

  • Dante_SDante_S
    edited June 2019

    @FunCartel "This is not a romance site. This is a very temporary experience. Do not overthink it and burden them with your misguided heartbreak."

    I could be wrong, but I don't think it may have been anything romantic. And they may have never wanted it to ever be romantic. We're in a very touch deprived society (which we all know). Finding an amazing person you can cuddle up to and just feel totally safe and relaxed is spectacular.

    I'm actually moving soon, and there is someone here that I've cuddled with on a semi-regular basis. Not romantic at all. Just a very understanding, accepting, comforting human being... That I know we both improve each others quality of life, with each of us being in the others. And i'm REALLY going to miss that person. (It would never be anything romantic)

    @melancholy I know how that can be... Who knows how paths may cross in the future. One of the things I've realized in the past few years... Look back and remember all the amazing times, and savour them. You haven't lost those people or experiences, you have them saved in your memories. Think of those amazing cuddles when you're feeling down. (I know it's not the same ;) but it's something

    Cheers!

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @Dante_S If you miss them as much as the OP implies and it is not romantic then you have issues. The OP compared it to a heartbreak. It is either a melodramatic overstatement to compare it as such or he actually had romantic feelings. If you have that much heartbreak over a cuddler with no romantic involvement purely for lack of touch then you have separation anxiety. Fun fact, Jeffrey Dahmer never wanted anyone to leave either.

  • Dante_SDante_S
    edited June 2019

    @FunCartel lol, wow. Harsh.
    I have close friends that that when I move, I will deeply miss. I love and care about them a lot.
    But hey, to each their own. Everyones different ;)

    Edit: And well, we ALL have issues. Even if someone has separation anxiety, that doesn't negate their feelings. Maybe they were abandoned as a child... Not their fault. They're just left to deal with the emotional aftermath.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @Dante_S Not harsh and not negating feelings. But when you compare a cuddle partner that you have no romantic feelings for leaving to real heartbreak, then you either never experienced heartbreak or you are overwrought and melodramatic. Same thing as telling a parent that just lost a child I know how you feel, I had a cousin die. Not even remotely in the same ball park.

  • [Deleted User]EdoubleN18sngl (deleted user)

    FunCartel-
    I’m calling you out as to how much you’re BS you’re spouting. Many of us develop feelings of a sort of “love” for each other. When you’re buddies for a long time and you become a part of each other’s life; there’s a natural bond. Call it what you want but it’s still real.

    I’m currently going through the same situation. My buddy and I are both having the feelings of a loss. Who are you to say what that level of loss should be?? I’m sorry you’ve not experienced the bond that can come from having an amazing plutonic cuddling relationship. I hope your future possible cuddlers read this before cuddling with you.

    To my cuddle buddy, you know how much you’ve meant to me. It’s a loss that’s making me sad enough I feel like I’ll go through a grieving process.

  • hogboblinhogboblin
    edited June 2019

    I had a cuddle buddy for a few months, some years ago. When it became clear that we weren’t going to cuddle again, it felt as if everyone I had ever loved had been gathered together and slowly decapitated right in front of me. And then I was stretched over a stone altar, had my rib cage smashed in, and witnessed my beating heart being torn from my body.

    I can totally relate to those who watched their loved ones getting their heads chopped off by ISIS, and I know what it must have been like to be sacrificed to Huitzilopochtli.

    Nobody can tell me otherwise. There’s also something wrong with you if you doubt me, or think that I lack perspective.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited June 2019

    went through other channels

  • MelancholyMelancholy
    edited June 2019

    I was heartbroken when a coyote ate my dog. Does that mean I had a romantic relationship with my dog ? Of course not. This isnt rocket science. I feel love for people without any romantic or sexual requirement for that love.
    Love is love. Its not sex.
    My heart still hurts when they fired my boss, because he was an amazing guy and I liked working with him.
    but I didn't have a non platonic relationship with him either.
    I blocked you FunCartel because I don't like the way you think and want nothing to do with people who think that love and sex are always together.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited June 2019

    @melancholy Looks like your entire personal attack is based on the assumption that romance=sex. Looks as though you are the one confused. I do not mind you disagreeing, but find out what I meant by romance before you make personal attacks.

  • [Deleted User]SoulcuddlerZ (deleted user)

    Let's take a break, shall we? Closed. 04 JUN 2019 17:27 EDT

This discussion has been locked.