Been trying to find cuddles with non pros, however everyone else seems to be looking for more than cuddles. Once they find out I’m married I’m ghosted. I’ve been looking mostly on Reddit.
@cuddledude16: Lots of people are worried about the possibility of emotional infidelity—you know, "You can't have friends outside marriage, your partner will get jealous!"
Does make finding a cuddle buddy a bit tougher than it needs to be.
You'll find what you're looking for soon hopefully. It can be frustrating if you're ghosted but you have to understand at the end of the day no one owes anyone here anything. Besides you won't lose anything by trying, keep looking dude.
Thanks
@DarrenWalker I consider this somewhat more than friends. Some of us aren't giving long hugs, and cuddling with our friends. So, it is* neither something we are used to. Nor something that we introduce to our romantic relationships early on. Plus, many times cuddle partners go to each other's home/ to cuddle. Even in public, for many it's too close for their comfort, and does raise insecurities. Also, some partners want monogamy in these aspects. So, it's important to respect/consider that, and if no middle ground can be worked out: may be best to leave.
@vesnyr true!
General comment:
I suppose with some couples something later on changes. Some are able to talk about it, and get their partner's well wishes. I think it is important to let one's partner know. I understand that in some cases having that transparency can be difficult, for all kinds of reasons. Though, people like me also don't want to catch ourselves in that lack of transparency, and risk potential drama, as well.
@cuddledude16 I understand how tough it can be for people to push your boundaries. Or think they'll just slowly change your mind, etc. Which is manipulative and too a boundary pusher. Although, not to confuse with someone that may develop feelings later on. I think the latter has the potential to talk about and respect each other.
Continue standing by your comfort, and boundaries! I'll message you sometime with a little advice that may be of help. Sometimes we've to go through over a hundred incompatibles just to get to one almost there. You are not alone with the struggle. I hope it resolves for you.
@Lovelight: The whole "more than friends" thing strikes me as off. But then I grew up in a small community where "friends" were people you invited over for sleepovers, and everyone else you chatted with was an "acquaintance," so my ideas on the subject are undoubtedly weird. If you're not comfortable touching somebody, are they really your friend? Friendly acquaintance, maybe....
Yeah, my definitions of various social words and phrases are probably a bit skewed from the average.
You aren’t wrong, and I don’t think it is the fault of the creators, but this is a dating site with a cuddle paint job.
The “cuddling finder” concept is very new, and it’s not surprising that the vast majority of users treat it with the societal model that we are most familiar with.
@DarrenWalker that's not my experience. Friends are generally people I go out with. Play games with, etc. They are people I trust, and care about. Touch has just barely been a part of it. Although, I did used to have a friend in 7th - 8th grade. We couldn't get enough of hugging, and playing with each other's hair. He, and I just naturally bonded like that. After that, growing up more. It became that I've been more selective with that aspect of me, and who I share with.
So, cuddles, to me are more than just friends. In the sense that, it's something that if I am in a relationship, I'd want to be told about. Vice versa. As well as something that I want to talk about with the person I want to share with. Unless we meet on a platform like this where we at least have the first point out of the way: that this is just platonic cuddles.
I've been rethinking my sense of romantic relationship. So, I can't really speak from my side on this, yet. Though, I can understand if hugs/cuddles/etc. are aspects that a partner would prefer to share, and or be shared with monogamously. I think that should be respected, as well. As well as the need the other partner has for wanting to seek others. It's important that both partners do what will make them the most comfortable, and are transparent about it. If their wants/needs don't align, or there are no compromises. Then may be best to leave and find more compatible partners.
I also understand, that giving long hugs, being touchy towards friends or acquaintances, can lead to confusion about our intentions. As these are for many something they only view/see in the frame of "in a relationship" "crush" etc. So, communicating our needs, and boundaries are important.