Pushiness.

Beeloved33Beeloved33
in General

Just a PSA.

If someone doesn't respond to you within five minutes, don't send another message asking if they aren't interested. Someone of us have lives that don't allow us to respond right away. And I certainly won't feel safe enough to allow myself to be in a vulnerable position with anyone who doesn't understand boundaries. It's okay to follow up with someone you haven't heard from in a few days. It's NOT okay to hound someone for a response. If you don't get a response at all, that person clearly isn't interested. I've had this experience multiple times now and its, quite frankly, unsettling.

Comments

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    I sent you a message just now. When are you going to respond?

  • TouchIsTLCTouchIsTLC

    Sad but true, sorry for their ineptness. Hopefully you'll find some positives among the creepers and jerks to stick around long enough to make some meaningful connections.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    There is no problem if you block them.

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited May 2019

    @TouchIsTLC that's amazing!

    @Beeloved33 not so much here. Though, I've experienced that, and the like. It is unsettling, terrible. There was one individual in particular, here, he got banned for whatever reason. Though, he was too much towards me. He got mad at me for "not suggesting somewhere else" when I basically told him, "sorry your area is too far from me. So, I can't meet you." He was pretty much for drama, and mind games. My last response to him was:

    "I NEVER claimed you didn't reply. I said that I waited some time before I deactivated in that time frame you didn't reply and since I wasn't ready to get new messages I deactivate. Also NO. You did not suggest to meet somewhere public. Just that you can come to me, which I replied I can't host meaning at my home. I am not here for arguments or drama. I have more than enough already."

    Then, again he came off as mad for my deactivating my account. Even though, I told him, I was going through stuff causing me to deactivate/be on the site on, and off, etc. He didn't even care to ask how I am. Nor respond to me asking how he is. All he cared about was to meet me, and for me to suggest. As though that was my responsibility. That's something either one of us could've tried to do. If one missed to see a possibility, the other could suggest. Though, getting stuck up about it, and angry that another didn't suggest: doesn't help!

    So, I get there are questionable individuals out there. I hope you meet others who are caring, considerate, and respectful.

  • UKGuyUKGuy

    @Beeloved33 - I can understand that would be irritating. The only reason I can think someone might legitimately do that is if they were in your area for a limited amount of time and needed to make plans quickly. As a last resort, you can always block someone that you don't want further messages from.

  • WorthyWorthy

    As I have discussed with a few others, some folks in online communities have difficulty with social skills. I think those types are often drawn to such. Perhaps other are not aware of etiquette. I wish they would take some time reading the forums, guidelines and frequently asked questions and study up a bit. I frequently get as a first message "I want to schedule a session." No intro or anything. If I am feeling patient, I explain first that I am not a pro and then that meeting someone here (or me at least) is like initiating a friendship. You introduce yourself and engage in conversation where you begin to get to know one another to see if you want to meet. I've also started telling folks up front that there is a vetting process for safety before meeting. If they are not interested in the vetting, they can go ahead and move along (I don't say that but it's what I mean). Plenty have moved along but a few seemed to grasp the process and get on board, which has been fine so it was more of an education issue.

  • DaForceofNatureDaForceofNature

    @FunCartel you never respond timely to the messages I send you (telepathicly ?)

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @DaForceofNature I never said I practice what I preach!

  • MrKinderMrKinder

    I give them a few days to respond before I check in again. After that, I just let it go.

  • [Deleted User]den (deleted user)

    i only ever send one message. if there's no reply, then there's no reply.

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