I have MS

jerseyboy425jerseyboy425
edited May 2019 in General

I was just an average guy working and going to school. 2 years ago I was diagnosed with MS. Not only does your body take a toll but so does the mind, sometimes I say things and people interpret it differently. This site for the most part would be great for people like me but I don’t get much responses. Everyone enjoy your day

Comments

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited May 2019

    I think we need more information. Do you reach out to others? If so how do you reach out (in other words, what do you say in your messages)? What you say in your messages does affect your chances of a response.

  • WorthyWorthy

    Agreed. @jerseyboy425 , tell us how you start with folks. Maybe we can help.

  • jerseyboy425jerseyboy425

    I mean since I’m inviting someone into my personal space I’d like to get to know someone better before just booking, maybe that’s not accepted .

  • jerseyboy425jerseyboy425

    I always start off saying something nice, like hello sweetheart or addressing the person in a open gesture manner. But I don’t advise I have MS until we’re comfortable because some people stop replying once I let them know.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited May 2019

    Do not call a woman you do not know well “sweetheart.” Several women have said on here themselves that pet names from a stranger is a turn-off and a red flag.

  • WorthyWorthy

    Sometimes people don't like to be addressed in an overly familiar way right off the bat. Maybe start by saying something like Hi, my name is Sam. I live in Smithtown. I enjoy watching netflix, the outdoors and I consider myself a foodie. I am new to the site and hoping to connect with some folks for cuddling after we have a chance to get to know one another for a bit. I also have MS. If you would like to continue chatting, maybe you could tell me a bit about yourself. I wouldn't omit the part about MS because if they are the type of person who minds, they don't need to waste your time. If they respond, ask some more get to know you type questions and then provide more information about yourself. And a picture. Expect that most women will want to vet you for safety and that you should feel free to do the same.

  • WorthyWorthy

    Even on dating sites I don't like it when people call me darling, beautiful, gorgeous, etc, in our initial messages.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    I think you will get more responses by saying something to the effect of “Hi, I saw your profile and I am interested. But first, a little about me. I am a guy from New Jersey whose life was turned upside down by MS two years ago. Cuddling provides some comfort from the painful symptoms, but I am not asking you to be a doctor, I am asking you to be a human that wants to offer me your warmth and compassion. In return, I offer you the same plus my gratitude. Please reply if you are interested.”

    Also attach a face pic. I think you should drop the over familiar phrases like sweetheart, baby, sexy, etc. You should absolutely be up front about your MS as that is the reason many are on this site—for healing or relief. Good luck with your search.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    Finally, getting to know someone before letting them into your personal space is acceptable. In fact, most ladies will find it admirable as long as you do not get too personal with your correspondence.

  • MelancholyMelancholy

    If you're trying to book a professional cuddler then many will get annoyed with too much chat. They don't have time or interest in getting to know every prospective client beyond the basics. They can get to know you while you cuddle but not so much before or outside of cuddling sessions.
    But non pros can be the opposite. They might want to get to know you very well before that first cuddle session.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @melancholy It depends on the pro. I tend to avoid pros who say book me and then we will talk. As a client, that should be a red flag that you are dealing with someone who views you as an ATM rather than a person. I actually like a pro who asks for more info about me, and I have had several do that.

  • TouchIsTLCTouchIsTLC

    @FunCartel I second this point!!! It seems that pros are split 50/50 on this issue.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @babestorm yes I am well aware of the rules. But you can have a conversation via messaging on site and there are pros that do not want to be bothered with that unless you book. If you want to know a client better or gain a client, you should be able to at least exchange a couple of messages if they have questions.

  • MelancholyMelancholy
    edited May 2019

    @babestorm I didn't see anyone suggest the word 'sexy' be used...so we're probably ok

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited May 2019

    @jerseyboy425 I am way out of your range. Though, I also have a physical disability. I get the struggle, and the difficulty/need you have with opening up about it. It has taken me some time, and trying different ways to open up about it.

    My story:

    I've been here 1 year, 7 months. Although, I've probably been on, and off for 7 months on the site: deactivating, for personal reasons/needs.

    Still although, I've made connections, and went out a few times: which each took quite some time, I still haven't got someone to meet a second time, and a mutual connection. Each person there were their own reasons for why not. I also didn't get physical with any except two* that I felt okay with, and one was coming from a far area. So, I felt a need to compromise, as well. Though, he wasn't respectful of me so we discontinued, and the site dealt with him. Edit: Likewise the other kept playing me, and cancelling plans to meet for months on end. end of edit.

    I also have some needs that I do express to others more or less after our initial message. Many can't meet those needs, even some that seem sweet. It is what it is.

    So, you are not alone. Many of us, not just me it takes a ton of time: trials, and errors to get a response, and meet others. Like many said, for some women "sweetheart" and the like can come off as off. So, I'd refrain from that. Feel free to check out my profile if it can provide a tip, or two.

    I'd say, don't knock it over so fast. Have patience, and understand that what's meant to happen, will happen. Do what you can to enjoy your life, and let this be on the side: like a plant taking forever to grow. Though, with the right nourishment, care, and patience it has the potential to flourish. If you even need to forget about the site for sometime, you can do that, and if someone replies you should get an email notification. You can also add to your profile that you welcome others to message you. I would suggest to also sign up on OKC to help increase your chances. Though, keep in mind that you will need to clarify what you're looking for there. Let me know, if there is something I might be able to help you with.

  • jerseyboy425jerseyboy425

    @FunCartel you’re amazing! I loved your response and will take advice ! Your very smart!

  • jerseyboy425jerseyboy425

    @Lovelight :) ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Thank you for understanding me so much , it’s very hard to open up. I’ve trued to just say hi I’m Sean, I have MS, I haven’t had physical intimacy in a few years and lost. Then girls run away.

  • jerseyboy425jerseyboy425

    Thank you @Worthy I mean I’m very very very rusty socially men n women, the last two years I feel like I lost my brain with my MS

  • PeopleLikeUsPeopleLikeUs
    edited May 2019

    Keep in mind too there are those of us who would be more inclined to cuddle someone with MS simply because we know it's harder and it could be of greater benefit. My daughter has been socializing with a differently abled man for 20 years. I think they met through some kind of non-profit set up for this purpose. I'm sure the same thing can happen with cuddles .

  • CardiacKidCardiacKid

    OP, I I'd rewrite my profile to sound less like you want a love connection. It's not a dating site

  • jerseyboy425jerseyboy425

    Hey @CardiacKid and everyone here’s my profile:

    Hey I love to cuddle with a loving female. I’m new here and don’t know the full protocol, but are you sweet, nice and loving? I need someone like that. I’m seeking that love and affection.

    I don’t know what part sounds like a dating site!? I met one person on another cuddle site. She knew my disability and took personal belongings and left. I don’t know how else to say I’m wanting a nice loving person. Someone who truly cares about people and wants to cuddle with no labels.

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited June 2019

    @jerseyboy425 that's terrible! Sorry to hear, hope you took some actions against the individual.

    Before:

    "Hey I love to cuddle with a loving female. I’m new here and don’t know the full protocol, but are you sweet, nice and loving? I need someone like that. I’m seeking that love and affection."

    After edit:

    "Hey, I am here to meet with caring, and honest ladies to share platonic cuddles with.

    I am new here. So, I am still getting to know better the community, and it's protocols. If you are sweet, and kind: welcome to contact me. I'd like to chat with you some. Then hopefully, meet you in public to get to know each other better. :) "

    That was my bit of edits. ?

  • UKGuyUKGuy
    edited June 2019

    @jerseyboy425 - I've rewritten your profile for you. Changed words in bold (eliminate 'love' and 'loving'). I think @Lovelight suggestions are excellent too.

    Hey I love to cuddle with a loving female. I’m new here and don’t know the full protocol, but are you sweet, nice and loving? I need someone like that. I’m seeking that love and affection.

    Hey I enjoy cuddling with a caring female. I’m new here and don’t know the full protocol, but are you sweet, nice and affectionate? I need someone like that. I’m seeking that closeness and affection.

  • jerseyboy425jerseyboy425

    Thank you a lot @UKGuy ! @Lovelight !!!

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