Elements of a Great Cuddle

[Deleted User]roamer1999 (deleted user)
in General

What are the three most important physical elements/activities of a good cuddle from your personal perspective? For pros, what do you think or know are the three most important elements for your client? For example, someone's top three could be: (1) jumping onto the bed simultaneously from opposites while trying not to injure each other; (2) counting their toes using your toes; (3) finding one good position and sticking with it. Please share your top 3!

Comments

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    Elements?? Hmmm. 1. oxygen because I want everyone to breathe. 2. Carbon, because I want everyone to be a living being. And finally, 3. Lithium for mental health.

  • safensecure4u2safensecure4u2

    @roamer1999 you asked for that one.

  • [Deleted User]roamer1999 (deleted user)

    Guess so!

  • DaForceofNatureDaForceofNature
    edited June 2019
    1. Consent
    2. Being fully present and engaging with your partner (not messing around on your phone or some other distraction)
    3. Good communication
  • SideonSideon

    Agreeing with @DaForceofNature here.

    For activities, I would include:

    1 - share covers/blanket
    2 - both be bathed/clean and brushed teeth, but don't chew gum or TicTacs and sound like a cow or a molar tap dance
    and
    3 - relax and breathe

  • [Deleted User]roamer1999 (deleted user)

    Touche' @FunCartel !

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @roamer1999 hehehe

  • [Deleted User]roamer1999 (deleted user)

    My actual top 3:

    1. Kindness.
    2. Ability and strong natural inclination to give and receive comfort and platonic affection.
    3. Flexible and willing to try various cuddling positions.
  • DaForceofNatureDaForceofNature

    @Sideon Thank you for saying relax and breathe. I wanted to add that, but felt the others should be said first. Those nerves the first time!!!

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited June 2019

    Edit: I read that a while ago, and just responded now. So, I forgot you just wanted 3. lol well then, I'll put them in italics+bold the ones not already mentioned. end of edit.

    Crucial to have:

    Respect boundaries, etc., and good communicational skills. Compromise. Considerate. Honest. Reliable. Reasonably neat cuddle environment. Kindness.

    Additional important things to have for a good cuddle:

    Good to have though, not necessarily necessary for all:

    Similar wave length: personality/energy wise. Similar hobbies.

    Good hygiene. ?

    Clean sheets, pillow cases, etc. Pleasant cuddle environment. Opening windows to naturally air out the home/ prior to meeting your cuddle partner.

    The following video is just a general guide. Do your own research everyone, and what works best for you. Personally, I am uncomfortable with homes that have candles on as they can be a safety hazard. Like, I don’t know how some people go out to eat, and they have candles especially, these tower like candles in the middle of them. I couldn’t relax that much in such case. Plus, I just found out most candles aren’t good for us. So, it’s something I personally, would refrain from. Or use once in a blue moon. It’s not so likely that your cuddle partner will tell you your home/ is unpleasant to their nose. Though, if you follow these tips, and in the rare case you get a feed back you take into consideration: you should be fine. Also, we get used to the smell of our own environment. So, don’t think that your cuddle partner is necessarily making things up. Just because you think your home/ is pleasant. Too much air freshener natural types or otherwise, is also not good. If you will give someone an honest feed back: be kind, and do it in a way to try to help improve your connection with them.

    After all, if someone like Gordon Ramsey inspected your home: he might say, “this house looks, smells, and sounds like it’s been hunted by filthy, and annoying: ghosts.” So don’t/try not to: metaphorically speaking, hop on a high horse about it.

    Consider asking your cuddle partners their relationship with fragrances that you might wear. Not everyone is okay with them, or certain types. I’d advice to avoid body sprays especially, when you plan to get closer with someone. Something on the light side is generally good for close proximity. ?

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    One thing that never gets mentioned but is essential for a truly great session is altruism. Nothing is purely altruistic, but if a portion of each cuddler’s motivation to enter a session is based on altruism and offering the other person something without expectation of reward or reciprocation, then it can touch your soul. But both partners need to have it for it to truly reach another plane. Otherwise, it can devolve into an imbalance where one partner takes while the other gives.

    And yes, even a pro can have altruism but it is difficult for some clients to accept this because they only see the monetary exchange. The money is for the pro’s time and for making a living. The actual session and how it comes off, well, that varies widely and the best pros I have experienced gave freely in some form where I forgot about the whole client/contractor relationship and went to a place of warmth where I felt wanted and could just be. This requires altruism to some extent because you have to want to give and it cannot be faked. In contrast, you can always tell the pros who give a cold, detached, going through the motions cuddled session and only want to get paid.

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited June 2019

    @FunCartel I agree with your points about: altruism.

    Personally, I neither want to give, nor get unless I connect well with the person, and I feel comfortable. After that, I have an interest to help put others at ease: give them light massages, if they'd like, and be the best cuddle partner I can be with them.

    I actually wonder/worry a bit if the session I might have with others, will be mutually beneficial. I rather be alone, than, anyone cuddle with me if I don't meet their needs. I don't want such pity, I want to keep going until I find someone that's mutually satisfied with me. If I never find such person, then, that's alright, as well.

    I am conscious, and understanding of, if someone says upfront: "I am not sure if you can meet my needs, or say that I don't meet their needs." I want the time I share with others to be more or less mutually beneficial. If there are things we can improve together then, that's cool. If we can't, that's also cool.

    I agree with your take on pros, as well.

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