?
This is actually my first day on CC, so I can't really comment anything concrete. But, I imagine, I'd just refer to a cuddle session as "hanging out with a friend", "Netflix and Chill", or "chilling at home" if asked what I'm doing a particular evening. Technically, I wouldn't be lying...
Yes
@Mister_Chris - Heads up - you need to know what "platonic cuddle" means, what "Netflix and Chill" means, or what "lying" means. If you call the first one the second one, you are definitely the third one!
I told two people thinking they would get it but felt I was being judged but didn't care either. I think I explained it like sometimes you feel so empty inside and you have to fill yourself back up. But I think most non-cuddlers think of it as some type of passive agressive sex thing. I sort of feel like it's one of those things that is just too outside-the-box for some people to compute. I always like hearing stories from people because I know the first couple of times I cuddled a stanger I felt weird, and I always wonder what the other person thinks because I'm a stranger to them. I wondered if maybe I was being creepy, some pros have told me some crazy stories though and hearing them actually assures I'm miles and miles aways from creepy. I wouldn't mind hearing your stories @biancalovecraft
@mdx71 huh? Why me? Lol Most of the people I end up cuddling are wonderful. I truly believe sincere cuddlers are far more emotionally evolved than the general population, and I feel honored to be entrusted to nurture them. But I probably only accept appointments with about 1/3 of the people who contact me. There's an almost infinite supply of creeps on this site, but they seldom make it into my arms. They're just too eager to reveal themselves here.
@biancalovecraft Only because you said you had a lot to say on the subject, that was all. I'd agree that sincere cuddlers are more emotionally in touch and honest.
@Snowbound i do get what you’re saying about “Netflix and chill” but even thought there is currently a popular use of the term, the actual words used have meaning and don’t always mean the same thing. I’m of an age when Blockbuster and Chill, usually meant getting a video and actually chilling, hoping for some of the other chill stuff and not getting it. So if i say to someone I’m just going to “Netflix and chill” they’d probably think “yeah right” tell me about the movie later.
@BashfulLoner it's certain that Netflix and chill can actually literally mean what it says. Maybe it varies regionally, but the way I've heard it used, it means you're going to miss the movie. Either way, to "get" or just "hope to get" still doesn't fit the local theme.
Far be it for me to tell you what not to say, but rest assured that if you say you're going to get together with your sister later for some Netflix and chill, there's some number of people who are gonna look at you funny.
I always get the "is it just cuddling" kind of question, but don't really feel judged. I think it's natural for us to be curious about things we are unfamiliar with. I am also a little picky about whom I share this part of my life with, maybe because I don't want to be judged or have to explain myself. For me it doesn't seem weird, I've always enjoyed taking care of others in some way or another, it fulfills me, it feels natural. But by societal norms I suppose it isn't and people will have different perceptions about it.
I have never taken Netflix and chill as anything other than what it says. Just weird to take it any other way.
Snowbound, are you sure that isn’t old man thinking about Netflix and chill? I know you are not old, but you are nearly 20 years older than me. Netflix and chill literally means what it says to my generation. I do not get where you think it is code for hook ups.
@HugsAndAttitude I'm glad you chose to visit me at the home. After I take my pills and tell you about the war, you can help me eat my Jell-O.
Enlightenment: I know plenty of people of different ages and in their respective generations and cultures. I also know that I have seen Netflix and Chill to exclusively mean sex.
Is it possible that I'm not the one who's unaware of your generation? Go ahead and hit up Google for what "Netflix and chill" means. I stopped at the third page.
This is cluttering this thread; I'm dropping it here.
Several of you have been taken in by hoggoblin's tale of "coming out as a cuddler ". The coming out is thinly disguised tale of a son acknowledging he is homosexual. See his first post
@Lovelight
@BashfulLoner
@CardiacKid
You’ve sorta figured it out. The story itself is based upon my coming out as an atheist to my father.
The story itself is not unique. And while I wrote it in a (semi) serious manner—as a means to convey fear, hurt, and the feeling of being devalued as a human— it’s not nearly as grim or horrid as many of the stories others could tell about coming out as homosexuals/trans/agender/etc.
“Coming out as a cuddler” is absurd. It devalues an expression that carries weight by putting cuddling on the same level as revelations that deeply affect a person’s life.
What is being revealed, exactly? “I like positive physical contact”? How very profound!
I’ll be absolutely clear: if you make a big deal about “coming out as a cuddler”, or “living in secret” as someone who benefits from intimate physical touch, you lack perspective. Your struggle is not real.
I will maintain that until there’s video evidence of a parent denying the existence of their child for being a cuddler, or of cuddlers being lined up against a wall and plugged with AK-47s.
Just saying. Netflix and chill is partly used as a joke. It means you're going to hangout and watch Netflix. It can also mean hook up, but it became soo popular that people say it for anything that includes watching Netflix and or having it in the background.
@hogboblin - nice bit of writting in your "coming out" story. Are you a writer?
As for the Netflix and Chill conversation - a while ago when I was still dating I put that on my profile before I ever heard other people use that combination of words because I'm boring and that was literally what I liked to do instead of going out. Then I found out some people took that as some sort of secret sexual reference or something so I took it off my profile. Don't know why they thought it, they just do. I guess it's sort of the same reason that a non-cuddler might think there's something more involved then cuddling when there isn't. The default for most people is just to jump to conclusions and you can't blame them, it's just how it is.
@Snowbound The fact that you googled the term tells me everything I need to know about your knowledge of my generation. But I will send you a box of Jello.
@Wildcat95h You explained it perfectly. It could mean a million things.
@mdx71
I’m not a professional writer. I mainly write to amuse myself.
@biancalovecraft your perspective is always appreciated , just because you are a paid cuddler doesn't mean you don't have something to add to this . There are plenty of paid cuddlers who have the same feelings of conflict re whether to tell folks . With you , you happen to also carry the burden of the assumption that you are charging for more than that
I keep it secret. Unofrtunatelly, cuddle someone here (where I live) is almost impossible. The words cuddle, snuggle or even pet have no real translation to my language.
I've told 3 close friends and my therapist. There's probably people I wouldn't tell just to save me the hassle of that conversation. I don't care much though if people knows or not. It's not like I'm killing people!
@lumiere02 exactely the same. Unfortunatelly, my friends aren't able to understand what's platonic cuddling.
I worry that Joe Biden has given public cuddling a bad rep. ☹️
@Sallert He did not cuddle. What he was guilty of was non-consensual touch. Moreover, he never did that to Michelle Obama, only to women below his station, so these were conscious power moves.
I keep it a secret from friends and family all the time....not many people truly understand what it is all about.
Just got to this.
@hogboblin
“...“Coming out as a cuddler” is absurd. It devalues an expression that carries weight by putting cuddling on the same level as revelations that deeply affect a person’s life.
I will maintain that until there’s video evidence of a parent denying the existence of their child for being a cuddler, or of cuddlers being lined up against a wall and plugged with AK-47s.”
So, their experience means nothing to you unless they have “video evidence”? Okay.
I already touched up on this a bit. Though, girls and women do in some cultures/religions get killed by their families for... wait for it... dating. If they are lucky they get shamed and ostracized. For dating outside of “marriage”. If who they date happens to not be from their religion/caste* it’s even worse. Many date in secret. Edit: While many are afraid to thus, leaving them alone: unless they live in the manner their family/community wants them to, date/marry how, and who they want them to. While many have been cornered (for a lack of a better word) into submission.
These are straight girls/women, by the way. Many even get ostracized/ for having male friends... and so on. Touching the opposite sex even a handshake is forbidden for many women around the world. Likewise for men, though that’s slightly or so different.
Cuddling isn’t far fetched from that. Take it from someone who knows what they are talking about. Or don’t. Though, like I said people like myself understand the gravity of the term “coming out.” Some of us are even part of the groups that use it most. In your fight to defend the term from being used lightly. You seem to be making light of the things I touched on. If you don’t understand someone’s experience much, then to claim they are using the term “lightly” is absurd. Also, not every victim walks around with “video evidence.” Some can’t even utter the horrors they’ve been through, and walk among us silently. So again, many people especially, women from certain religious/cultural groups struggle tons, live secretly, some get ostracized, some worse. Over interactions with men. Be it dating, cuddling, or anything.
@hogboblin these things also happen in developed countries. Most we don’t hear about due to the dangers and difficulties those suffering it face. In addition, to other reasons I will not get into now.
So, not every household/everywhere is like that which holding hands, interacting with the opposite sex, etc. is okay for straight people. Or bearable, where you like just have to wait til you are 18/ and your family start giving you more freedom to date, and might just give some of their opinions on who you are dating. Or before 18 it’s not everywhere that it just gets you a “young lady we need to talk.” “Go to your room.” Etc. Some households around the world, and some countries: people especially, women have to pay their lives, etc. By trying to live their life and have companionship whether it be relationships, just cuddles, or whatever.
@CardiacKid thanks for trying. Unfortunately, there are actually people who suffer over being cuddlers. Or any of the things I mentioned. The world is vast, and there are many cultures, religions, struggles: that we don't always know much about. If someone* shares their experience then I will believe them.
Unfortunately, I recently came across a video of a young woman that was beaten really badly by her "friends" for sitting on their burger that they put on the couch. If that wasn't filmed probably most wouldn't have believed it. Although, many say (which is believable) that they had much hatred for the lady, and that the sandwich was just an excuse. So, if someone says they've been beaten, whatever, over breaking a cup accidently. Or otherwise if roughed up disproportionately. Then I will believe them, and try to be supportive of them. Unless I find evidence that makes that turn out to be false. In which case, I will want nothing to do with them.
My goal is to make it as a world class cuddler, make enough money to buy a membership at a fancy country club, and go around and have my wife introduce me as a professional cuddler.
Just for the looks on people's faces.
But other than that I'd keep it private, or my parents might disown me