Had a new member complain about random guys asking her how much she charges. She isnt a professional so why do guys ask her that ? No wonder they leave the site soon after signing on. They probably get weirded out by such questions.
As an enthusiast it is very annoying and off putting. I report these guys to the moderators and they usually end up getting banned.
Unfortunately I think a lot of men don't understand that there are two 'types' of cuddlers on here. I think there is the assumption that all women are paid pro cuddlers. Too bad.
One reason why people ask this question is that some members here attempt to cuddle for hire even though they're not approved as professional cuddlers. A common problem is a member messaging a non-professional with intent to cuddle recreationally, only to be told that (s)he charges.
In this scenario, a good thing is to inform that person that you do not charge and that only members with a magenta "Professional" tag on their profile or "P" tag in search results are allowed to cuddle for hire and receive payment. If they persist, report them. We will investigate and sanction accordingly.
Yes, I got that a few times, as well. It can be annoying, and off putting. Though, I agree with @SoulcuddlerZ and followed that approach in trying to help them understand. Most times as they are new they could just need that bit of help. Alternatively, if you don’t want to go that bit of a mile: perhaps you can ignore the message. They also might have been/be a member of sites that it’s only professional cuddlers so, they come in with that mindset.
The problem is that the "P" symbol isn't very obvious. I just joined a few days ago, and wasn't sure what it meant until I looked up the FAQs. Maybe replacing it with the $ symbol would clear up that confusion.
It could also be lack of information- maybe they don't know that this is a (mostly?) free-to-cuddle website, and just assume that it's all pay-to-cuddle?
@Mister_Chris if the person has properly registered as a pro, it says so on their profile page as well as lists the price . I believe something also pops up in the message box stating they are a pro when you type in your message . If none of this is showing , then the person hasn't registered as a pro
I'd like to think that rather than putting the responsibility on us as individual enthusiast cuddlers who are on the receiving end of these messages, that there might be other ways that the creators and community at large could educate new people here on the difference between pro (paid) cuddlers and enthusiasts. I lose patience sometimes and am not always in the mood to educate, you know? Tends to detract from my experience.
I have suggested this before in the "how to improve this website, etc" thread and it wasn't acknowledged - but what about a non P designation for those of us you are NOT pro cuddlers? Professionals get a bright pink P. How about a color to designate Enthusiasts or at least a disclaimer text that we should not be approached as a "service provider"? Not that exact wording of course, but I think you get my point. Again just a suggestion.
There is a warning that pops up when you message a professional that says something like "This member only cuddles for a fee". How about having a warning that pops up when you message a non-professional that says something like "This member does not cuddle for a fee and might be offended if you mention fees"?
And perhaps not that we "might be offended" (because then it sounds like we are overly sensitive and have a problem, right?) - but that it is a violation of the rules of the site to offer money to enthusiast cuddlers and that it is a way to get yourself banned. Simple enough.
@pmvines
Didn't know that, thanks.
Based on OPs post, the issue seems to be that she isn't a pro cuddler, but is receiving messages from people who believe she is. If pros have a "this is a professional" message pop up when you message them, maybe there should be a similar message when talking to a non-pro - "you're chatting with a non-professional"?
It also doesn't help that there are non-pros that still charge.
@SJSpooner had a fine suggestion; different colors, and I'd take it as far as bordering profile thumbnails with the color. Pink for pros and blue for non-pros. But, even then, it's up to the individual user to figure out what those mean. A new user might look at that and think that pink is for female and blue for male cuddlers, and then get really confused when that isn't the case.
Maybe if there was something on the front page, permanently, like an article boldly titled something like "How To Use This Website", or if new users received an automatic message- like new users used to when joining Facebook or MySpace, explaining all this stuff.
But, that's none of my business /sips_tea
Cuddle on.
I think the reason some men ask is because of the pro’s on this site that are not listed as pro’s. When I search for cuddlers I set my filters to non pro only, only to find that it is a pro simply trying to avoid the fee for being a professional.
I usually ask when I suspect they do charge. One indicator is a new member that responds to my messages but never visits my profile. Most girls (non-Pros) that I’ve messaged tell me their rates before I even ask. Anytime I’ve asked, the answer has always been yes. I report them every single time.
I have yet to meet someone on here in person. And while I know profiles without photos aren’t very attractive, I always send photos privately when I message someone.
I've heard that many non-pros on here still charge so that's probably why they ask. I've heard from one guy on here that he met up with a female non-pro who after cuddling for an hour wanted $350. She was banned but apparently there are more ladies on here calling themselves non-pro who are charging $. Report any non-pro who is asking for a fee for cuddling. That's not right. If they want to charge $ they should have to register as a pro and pay the mandatory fees like everyone else.
I, too, met with a cuddler who, at the end of our session expected to be paid. She was very offended when I told her that was never mentioned before. Her response was the she thought that just because she signed up on the website, she automatically gets paid $80 an hour to cuddle someone. When I tried to leave, her thug who was waiting outside ensured she got her money.
Anyway, I wonder how many other women who sign up on the site think that they are automatically going to get paid just because they filled out a profile?
@creedhands that’s fraud/scam, and theft/etc. I hope you reported to the police, and to cuddle comfort. That was so wrong, and must’ve been frightening.
Even if a client refuses to pay, that should be settled by cuddle comfort, and most likely the police. Not intimidate and force the client.
well Meloncholy --- its also a FACT that 90 % of the Pros on here dont even have the comon courtesy to reply for a request for an appt. To me if you are a Pro on here and charge for your services, you SHOULD have the common courtesy to at least take a WHOPPING 30 seconds to write back that you arent interested . SMH get a clue !!!
@Rocketman2019 you might be setting yourself up to be ignored even more due to your posts FYI
I have also had Pros ask for more than their listed price once the session started so some of you, Meloncolny, need to wake up and get over yourselves . There are many side to a story buddy !!!!! SMH
I think we are veering off topic here. I refer back to the OP's original issue...
I have had many cuddlers start off with no -P by their profile and a couple days later they are a Pro. Some have asked how much have I paid, then said ," I will charge you that." So not so bad to ask ahead of time.
@creedhands File a police report if you haven't already. That's armed robbery and extortion.
I think some of you are missing the point. Imagine you're a woman who wants to see if this is a place for cuddling. But instead gets asked how much?? Just asking a woman how much makes them think you're talking about prostitution. They arent expecting that. It's what made her think this site is a bad site. It doesnt matter if other girls are charging. She wasn't and isnt. So treating her like a potential rule breaker is why shes offended. It's like walking up to someone in a store and asking if they are a shoplifter because you've had shoplifters in your store before.
Yes @melancholy - I think you get it. Essentially what I have been expressing here. It gets offensive. I am here to find fellow enthusiast cuddlers Please don't offend me by cheapening the experience for me (and you) by asking how much. Even if you are just slightly new and making an honest mistake, you no longer have my attention and interest.
@creedhands I had the same thing happen to me once in Atlanta not too long after I joined. Had a cuddle session with a non-pro that was not very good then she demanded payment. I said you were not listed as a professional and she said that she did not have to be and that I was not the first guy that stiffed her. Long story short is she deleted her account a day later. Maybe she figured out why she was “stiffed” so many times. At any rate I have had a couple of non-pros do that since then in messages before sessions, so it is not that uncommon and I do see why some guys ask how much they charge.
You could handle the situation in a different, perhaps less offensive way, instead of asking "How much do you charge?", you could just say "I only cuddle with non-professionals, is that ok with you?".
My assumption was that they all want to be paid..Now for my own good reasons I don't want to participate other than to give my opinions
Another misconception is when a profile says they cuddle "everyone". Took me a little time to understand that it does not mean "everyone"...When you are under the impression you are going to pay you may read it as it is written or you don't fully understand the site yet.
But Who really knows what it means to the publisher of the ad that selected the term "everyone"? Isn't that a bit suggestive? Or implying they are so open hearted they will cuddle anyone and everyone. Or maybe it was selected to draw every ones attention..
Are we to ask no questions and you wont tell me no lies?
They should add a "dating" description. Or detail in your ad that you are selective and not going to cuddle everyone.
@ShyGuy By policy, pros have to be willing to cuddle everyone and they cannot select or decline clients based on things like sex, gender expression, orientation, race etc. If you find one who appears to be discriminating for reasons other than safety, I believe you can report them.
Who really knows what it means to the publisher of the ad that selected the term "everyone"? Isn't that a bit suggestive? Or implying they are so open hearted they will cuddle anyone and everyone. Or maybe it was selected to draw every ones attention..
Sometimes it does mean everyone, though. There are plenty of us who follow the rules, and some outliers who don't and aren't here for the right reasons. Makes me wonder if you've simply come across someone who looks for the shallow things in their clients and doesn't actually want to do the work. We're not supposed here for our own comfort, we're here for the comfort of others. The only reason most cuddlers would turn someone down is if they're crossing lines or if they're acting in a way which seems suspect and like it might be a safety issue (not willing to meet in public first when requested etc). I'm sorry if you've met some pros who make it all about them.
If you are going to meet an enthusiast, I think it’s ok to ask them to confirm that they are indeed not a professional. I think it’s acceptable to say, “I would like to confirm that you are not a professional, in other words, you are not expecting payment. Because there are some who are not registered as professionals who still expect payment.”
@Shyguy Yes, everyone does not necessarily mean literally everyone. It simply means individuals of potentially any sex/gender. But it doesnt necessarily mean a specific individual of a specific sex/gender. Because the options are “men,” ‘women,” or “everyone.” It’s specifically about sex/gender.
Actually for that specific spot on the profile we have 3 options to choose from: men, women, or everyone. That specifically refers to gender.
Hey everyone, first i think it is important to remember that this is a community and it is relatively new. Everyone is trying to find their way, or where they fit in. that being said, if you are seeing a person who is not marked as a PRO, who you did not need to use the booking feature to schedule with and they then tell you a rate or insist you pay after a cuddle, report them immediately. this sort of behavior will only stop if these people get reported. it is very easy, just click the report button on their profile and explain why. any sort of abuse of this community should be reported. CC is only as good as we all make it, whether we are pros (which i am) or enthusiasts.
that is just my 5 cents it was a little more than 2 cents, i think.
have a good one!
I suggest that when an enthusiast has selected Everyone then the Cuddles with field should be omitted from their profile listing. (Just as some other fields are not displayed when left blank.)
Moreover, pros should not even have the option and their profile listings should never feature a Cuddles with.