Why would someone refuse to send you a photo of themselves?

MarthaSpeaksMarthaSpeaks
in General

So I have a potential cuddle appointment coming up this week but the person so far had not sent me a picture of themselves. I’ve asked twice. They don’t have to post it, just send it to me private over text.

One of my other cuddle partners didn’t send a picture but described what he looked like and that was acceptable.

I’m curious as to what reason someone wouldn’t send a photo. Do you consider this a red flag?

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Comments

  • CardiacKidCardiacKid

    Bad intentions. Gotta Skype or leave

  • [Deleted User]letscuddleasap (deleted user)

    Huge red flag. Maybe fake or someone you know. I wouldn’t meet without a photo and confirmation that it is real (vidchat) or something. In 2019, it’s easy for them to do.

  • [Deleted User]SKYCATCHER (deleted user)

    lack of knowledge in computers. flip phone, description would have to be a .must. Meet in a safe place, always look out for your own safety

  • UKGuyUKGuy
    edited June 2019

    Probably insecure about his looks. Afraid of rejection. Could be other reasons though. Why not just ask him why he is reluctant?

  • MarthaSpeaksMarthaSpeaks

    @UKGuy good idea. I’ll do that. I did explain that I felt uncomfortable meeting without a photo. He didn’t offer anything after I said that. Silence.

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited June 2019

    @MarthaSpeaks afraid of someone misusing their photo. Could be all kinds of reasons. Perhaps ask the individual.

    Though, I highly recommend to video call, and if they refuse to do that: NEXT.

    Some also might use excuse such as my phone doesn't do this or that. A few might be genuine about it. Though, still that's for them to figure out and fix. I don't recommend meeting others without video calling. Also if they'll come over or you'll go over meet in public until you two are more comfortable. Get their plate number, ID. Something that can help identify you two incase of anything. Then pass it to someone you trust.

  • ShyGhyShyGhy

    let me try to explain my thoughts.
    I would say because pictures aren't really natural ..professional photos, shopped photos, fake photos are all over the internet...Not to say any here are but reality for me is that I have to use all my senses and trust my instincts.
    ..I am reluctant if one posts a picture, mainly because I prefer a natural and spontaneous connection and/or that either could build expectations and fantasize of how it would be from a picture. It can lead to disappointment and/or hurt feelings on either party. Its not necessary..
    Boils down to that I will never force life, love, or happiness on any levels..I will follow life and never have regrets or animosities towards it, but accept it and learn from it..
    I will not look into some ones eyes of a picture, read their words in the form of text and manage a connection..
    Finally, I could have it all wrong, but I'm not going to question my feelings and rather remain open to explore more feelings. I expect I have a lot to learn.

  • BrittneySweetBrittneySweet

    I always meet in a public place for my first interaction, photo or not.

  • ShyGhyShyGhy

    Im going to add without being rude that your profile says you cuddle "everyone"..this can be misleading given the advertising of this service ..
    I recommend you make note in profile that you will be selective as to not unintentionally mislead.

    Its your right to cuddle who you want, just make that clear

  • BrittneySweetBrittneySweet

    Hi ShyGhy, the reason it says everyone is because I cuddle females and males. I don't think they have "selective" as an option. ;)

  • mickcuddlemickcuddle

    @MarthaSpeaks I guess I’m more concerned that he doesn’t address the request for a photo than I am that he won’t send one. Both are marks for caution, but in my many years of online experience, someone can miss a question or request once. When you are ignored on second request, I tend to believe it is because if he complies, your response will be negative. Maybe the only photo he has is his mugshot for when he was arrested for possession of kiddie porn, or maybe he was your high school geography teacher, the one who made you sit in a front seat so he could try to see up your skirt. I’d say no.

  • SammyG_SammyG_

    Right off the bat let me say that I don’t have a profile pic. So I think it would be hypocritical for me to request one of a potential cuddling partner. That said, I don’t think we should automatically assume bad intentions when someone doesn’t post a pic. In addition to the other valid reasons mentioned here I suspect that most men who don’t send pics probably are concerned about being judged in addition to career considerations, blackmail, or embarrassment. I remember one female cuddler posted a pic of a potential partner and insinuated negative things about him which I believe turned out to be baseless and was taken down by the admins. Why would you rely on a pic that could be fake or outdated anyway? The better course of action if you’re overly cautious is to meet, even briefly, in person prior to your session.

  • LovelightLovelight

    @BrittneySweet yes, I explained that elsewhere as well. Selecting "everyone" for the sex one is willing to cuddle doesn't mean one is not selective about who they are willing to cuddle.

  • BrittneySweetBrittneySweet

    I wish I could like people's responses on here like Facebook. I agree with you @sarapoodles.

  • BrittneySweetBrittneySweet

    Thanks @Lovelight! <3 <3 <3

  • LovelightLovelight

    @BrittneySweet while ago we had discussions about these features, we came to the understanding that it's better not to have them. It can make some feel left out, and create a sense of competition like we see among big social medias. Being able to write I find helps create a dialogue, as well. So, I like that CC is unique in things like these. No problem. ?

  • SideonSideon

    I don't care what someone posts in their profile pics (or not), but I do expect that the person I've interacted with and whom they say they are be the same person that I meet in person in a neutral place. From that place, we can mutually discuss cuddling - or not. But requiring pics prior to meeting? I don't.

  • MarthaSpeaksMarthaSpeaks

    Thanks everyone. That helps. I will meet him outside in public first. I doubt he’s someone from my past or someone who knows me. Kinda cool if it was.

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited June 2019

    @MarthaSpeaks a video call may put you at much ease, and take away these doubts.

    EDIT: I’d find it freaky to have someone know what I look like, and not know what they look like upon trying to meet. end of edit.

  • Mister_ChrisMister_Chris

    As far as the potentially fake pictures, you could request one of the individual holding up today's newspaper, or something.

  • LovelightLovelight

    @Mister_Chris something like that can help.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    Is their screen name Medusa? That would explain a lack of picture and the need to bring a mirror to the Cuddle session.

  • JacobCarlJacobCarl

    Had an eager “cuddler” try to pressure me into cuddling with her the same night. No picture, vague on description where she was at but wanted my phone number because, after all, you can send a picture that way. That was not happening. It took a couple of months but I did get a laugh when I saw she was banned.

  • CosmicCreeprsCosmicCreeprs

    I would not meet somebody without seeing their picture first, as I send the picture to my mum along with the name (same thing I do on first dates). If people have a problem with me keeping myself safe then we're not compatible anyway.

    I also think if I'm going to be standing in a public place waiting for a stranger, I do need to know who I'm looking for. How do people who refuse to send pictures even do this?

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    @CosmicCreeprs: As a prosopagnosiac, I like specified clothing items. For instance, they might say "I'll be wearing a t-shirt with Darth Vader holding a sign saying 'Free Throat Hugs'."

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    I can take all the photos in the world to no avail. No one can ever see a pic—not even me. This is the curse of being a vampire.

  • SallertSallert

    Fun Cartel, I'm so sorry for your vampiric plight. Perhaps if you could have a friend pour pancake batter all over your head before being photographed, people online could at least get a general sense of what you look like.

    About sharing photos of the living, I can say as a newcomer I was hesitant to post pictures. I'm an educator and, as innocent as this site is, I can definitely see my participation being misconstrued.

  • [Deleted User]iamkimmyp (deleted user)

    There are a lot of great responses on here. I only want to mention that I once asked someone to send a picture on here by email since they did not have one before setting up a cuddle date. They sent me a picture of a celebrity. Argh!

  • MarthaSpeaksMarthaSpeaks

    @iamkimmyp ooooo I would hate that! I would have gotten all snarky about it...."oh George Clooney! Why what are you doing on a cuddle site? I definitely want to cuddle with you before everyone else finds out you're here. I promise I won't tell. I know where you live because I have a map of the stars. When you see it's me, buzz me in the gate. See you soon!"

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited June 2019

    @DarrenWalker wow. You are on the prosopagnosia spectrum, too! Cool, and not cool. Someone once gave me the advice to also focus on the type of their eyes, and shape. These smaller details aren't always ideal to focus on. Though, it was helpful for them to suggest me that. Many people in general do use clothing color to help find one another. Though, car color can also help if you want to spot their car from a distance. Unless it's a huge parking. Or that they don't drive. ?

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