_ _ So I just signed up and don't really know what to do next? Any tips would be great. Kind of nervous honestly. Ive cuddled with a few girls so far but no guys yet. Some are just weird or some just back out.. Maybe I'm doing something wrong?? Sincerely a lonely cuddler
All that's needed is patience and ability to sort the wheat from the chaff. Good luck
The one who kept reaching out, I ended up passing on. The one I was suspecting is beautiful.im hosting our next cuddle in 3weeks. I have my next new cuddle person for this week. We both talked about boundaries, to start. We both took time to listen and share. We both went silent for a few days, because, well life.
I'm in month 5 of CC in Houston TX.
Things I do
READ THEIR PROFILE Send a hello msg Read their forum chats...that's a very revealing part right there Do not continue messages if it does not feel right. PERIOD. ...if they did not take time to fill in what they want and why they are here, I do not take them seriously.. ..if they ask me for extra body pictures,.... I have some on my profile....I do not take them seriously
I always ask about how cuddles went for them.
Hope that gets you started.
Yes I filter people too. If they say: “Hey sexy” ? Excude desperation ? Won’t send a picture ? Treat it like a dating app ? ———
Good pictures ?? Seem to understand cuddling culture ?? Seem to be emotionally healthy ?? Respects boundaries ??
I never share my phone number.
I also send this to everyone who I anticipate cuddling with:
“Basically I see cuddling as a relaxing, fun, unplugging time. There is no expectation or pressure for sex or even kissing, both people remain fully clothed and keep hands off swimsuit areas, although physical closeness is welcome. Wether hugging, holding, head on stomach, spooning, ect. Whatever feels natural and comfortable for both people.
You’re free to ask me anything you may feel unsure about. This is what I expect.
I’ve met and cuddled about 5 people so far from this site. As a security check, I require a selfie in which your finger is touching your (____,ear,chin,nose) (this is a virtually impossible selfie to find on the internet, and proves it’s really you
Thanks”
I don’t write people off based on their username. Though, some have suspicious names. So, I am slower, and more on guard with them.
If in their photo they are shirtless, I’d say that’s an automatic no, and it’s advised you report: it’s against the rules here. Moderators will deal with.
I’d watch out for if they are trying to rush you into meeting. Or anything. If they just joined also, it’s quite likely that they haven’t really got themselves acquainted, yet. Or they aren’t here for the right reasons especially, if their description, etc. is blank/barely filled out. Or it somehow seems suspicious. Edit: So, I am also slow with this, as well. end of edit.
It’s important to video call, and meet somewhere public. Have a buddy system someone that knows where, who, and when you’ll be out. Then check in on you.
Don’t let someone that doesn’t fit your search criteria guilt you into cuddling with them.
I’d advice if someone doesn’t confirm meeting with you at least 2 days ahead. Cancel at the end of the 2nd day. It’s quite likely they will not show up, and you don’t deserve to keep wondering, etc. Plus I am sure you got other things to do.
All of this is great advice! Also consider asking about their understanding of affirmative consent. I like to use refusal practice activities to make sure that everyone involved understands, accepts, and feels comfortable saying, "No."
..This is nothing more than a dating site without sex...I will retract that, Im sure some are genuinely compassionate..But claims of cuddle "everyone" is false..Knowing this I would not fill out a profile only to test the sincerity... Admit that you are being selective based on your own attraction to a profile ....I only look for genuine people and online profiles are never going to replace personal meetings....Human senses such as sight, sound, smell, and touch are all important part of sharing with another..Having to pay to only meet to see if compatible is not genuine.. if one is not willing to take the time then its never going to work for me..Never can I trust you, confide in you or enjoy your company.. I have come to realize that it is easier and less time consuming to just ask a stranger in person if she (in my case) has time in her life to have a friend.The simple yes/no will be the beginning or end...it has to start there...I too need to see, smell and touch to trust..Its NORMAL....I could waste a lot of time wondering about profiles here and imaging how it could work and it never lead to anything. All that said I am only looking for a friend, cuddling is fine but in that level of intimacy I expect total honesty, respect, full disclosure, confidentiality and Trust ..A close friend. Someone that knows me for me and I, you for you..The real us...…. Two people that may enlighten and remember each as a genuine friendship for eternity....I suspect it will be my last thought at time of my passing and bring me to peace knowing there is someone out there that knew me, and maybe I live on through their memories and can be passed on in some form, just a little part of me and vise versa...Most all marriages do not have that level of intimacy, sometimes they end prematurely due to circumstance..So I missed opportunities and by this time I realize what's missing in my life and how I went wrong in some cases and how I lost the one person.. I cant find this here?
@ShyGhy - case in point. Fill out a profile, demonstrate who you are, what you want, what you're looking for in your own words. Include pictures. Put the work in that you're expecting of others.
@Sideon photo is not a must as many have reasons for not sharing on their profile. Though, as long as someone is willing to send on to the person, or video call with them it’s alright. I agree about filling out profiles though, not a must either. Though, I’d recommend. It’s good for others to get an idea of what we are like.
@Shyguy
“Knowing this I would not fill out a profile only to test the sincerity...”
How does not filling out your profile “test someone’s sincerity”?
“Admit that you are being selective based on your own attraction to a profile ....” What?
EDIT: “Im sure some are genuinely compassionate..But claims of cuddle "everyone" is false..” if you mean the sex section, it doesn’t necessarily mean they are willing to cuddle with any, and everybody. It means they are open to cuddling with others be they men, or women.
@Lovelight - I was pointing out the discrepancy/hypocrisy. He's asking a lot without giving anything.
Do what you feel comfortable with within the parameters of the site. A pic is not necessary at all and many do not post pics for a variety of reasons—career, jumped bail, etc. However, you should be prepared to send a pic to whomever you reach out to if you want a chance at cuddling that person. Good luck.
Asking questions that may have already been covered in the forums, they don’t take kindly to that around here.
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@TrustCuddle I agree with @ILuvNapz I would have also been offended . And it is a bit tacky for you to post a screenshot of.your conversation with her. Says more about you than about her ...
@TrustCuddle I don't think it's appropriate to post up your message to this person on a public thread where she is asking for advice. You are the one who came at her and accused her of being a fake account - I might have responded differently, but I understand where she is coming from. You are being rude.
@Catloaf / @pmvines , I don't know if you guys have come across the fake accounts that uses these weird punctuations and jibberish English that doesn't make any sense and that's why I asked her if that's a fake account. A simple explanation would have been enough. Don't you think blocking me was too harsh. I agree that I came at her asking if it's a fake account not accused her for sure. Anyway, I don't want any drama and just deleted my comment.
@TrustCuddle Definitely know what you're talking about, I see it on so many sites and even Facebook. Pretty clearly to me anyway, it was a typo on a mobile phone where she typed "I." instead of "I'm". Live and let live lol. Thank you for clarifying.
Definitely someone who's a scammer is going to tell you the truth if you ask if it's a fake account.
@BlueIris are you telling me your account is fake ? So then who the hell did I cuddle ?!?!
@TrustCuddle you demand an explanation where you are not entitled to one. You approached her with your accusation . She doesn't owe you appeasement nor a reason for having blocked you. You then hijack her well meaning thread because you didn't get your way .
That's soooo unfair, don't you guys see how unprofessional a professional is? If someone has a doubt then I expect that to be cleared at least from a professional else what's the difference between a pro and non-pro. Anyway, I've had enough of this one sided conversation. Thanks but no thanks!!
@TrustCuddle One sided means that you are only able to see your side of things and shut down and get angry when others don't agree, or when you are not able to convince somebody that you are right. I am not being one sided, I am simply not agreeing with you and am not taking your side. Wrong is wrong and I don't have to cater to your bruised ego. Better yet, nor does @ILuvNapz . And deleting your original post in question doesn't change that...
Wow. Im at a lost for words.. I agree I'm not the most knowledgeable in the cuddle industry... I recently just started... Hence the reason for my post.. I do however think it is quite childish and disrespectful of the screenshot. I tried to provide a good service. I was on time , clean, and wore a very fuzzy sweater. I haven't cuddled many, so I kinda feel I know who this was. Either way I'm not going to be rude. But if its who I think... He kept complaining how I had to much clothing on. I felt uncomfortable and stated how there's rules that need to be followed. He agreed. He tried to rub his hands too close for me. I tell him I'm leaving because of his actions. And he tells me I couldn't satisfy him. Yet when I questioned what did he like, what were his expectations , and so on he never gave me any feedback other than he's not fully satisfied I just left... This was my first client. I actually cried and felt bad. I never want anyone to have a bad session with me. Im NEW. I have cuddled since than. And have had better sessions. One of my recent sessions we had a marvelous time. We talked, laughed. I played some ocean waves and tropical beach music. The weather that morning was Beautiful so I opened up the curtains, and window and it was an amazing view with trees and sunlight and a nice breeze! we imagined we were cuddling on a ocean in a tropical Island. After words we had some coffee in the lobby of the hotel and parted ways. I guess not everyone will be compatible. Especially just meeting someone for the first time. Thanks to everyone who provided information and feedback!!! I truly appreciate it!! And to settle any doubts. My photos are 100% me. I'm very real. I have absolutely zero reason to hide who I am. Also.. My Hamster Henry can vouche for me ☺? Happy cuddling everyone!
LvyNapz, don't be too hard on yourself, we're all figuring this cuddling thing out. I've found with cuddling, like most things in life, we all see things through our individual prisms. At then end of the day, you have to clearly communicate your sense of boundaries and consent through a pre-session conversation with your partner(s).
Your profile is great, a clear and insightful "about me" section, and a variety of photos. Your first customer was the one who made the mistake, not you. Your comfort and safety should always be your top priority; so never feel bad, particularly when someone is clearly attempting to manipulate you (like he was). The rules are clear (mostly).
I've been a long time proponent of holistic healing, over the past twenty years or so I have tried many modalities, and have had sessions with a variety of practitioners/healers. As a male, I go out of my way to ensure that my partner is comfortable and cared for through communication before our session starts. Thus ensuring we both generally have a fulfilling encounter.
It's important for me to understand what their expectations are for the session, things they like and don't like, and most importantly, a crystal-clear understanding on how they deal with consent and boundaries.
I've had cuddle-partners that were okay with things that were out of bounds for others. For example, with the hands thing, I've had partners that asked that I get consent before touching their hair, where others were okay with just going with the flow, the same scenario with a kiss to say their hand or shoulder, where others felt that might be out of bounds. And what to do if the big E happens.
These were not questions I asked per se', but something conveyed to me when I asked my partner how they liked to deal with boundaries and consent. The same same thing goes with manner of dress e.g., pajamas, shorts and a tee-shirt, or leggings and a sports bra, etc. etc. I've found a variety of comfort levels regarding dress with cuddle partners.
Over time you'll become more and more comfortable with this conversation. I've found it's allowed me to be vulnerable in a way to that allows me to experience the healing and affection that touch provides in a platonic way. It's truly transforming.