Am I the only one who will only cuddle in public?

[Deleted User]bizzeemomx5 (deleted user)
in General

I enjoy this so much. However, the one person that I agreed to cuddle with at my place ended up being a bad seed. I insist on meeting at theaters or parks. It is really necessary to be so cautious? It seems that a group like this should be inherently safe.

Comments

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    Why would you think that it is inherently safe? The Cuddle community is a cross section of society and as such, there will be good and bad. You would think the Catholic Church would be inherently safe too, but it is a playground of repressed male lust and perversion.

  • LovelightLovelight

    I am sure you are not the only one. It’s important you do whichever makes you the most comfortable. Even if it’s not shared by most. It’s possible to find mutual preference/needs. Or a mutually comfortable compromise.

    I don’t find it the most ideal. Though, I don’t mind semi public cuddles: somewhere not heavily populated. Sit with each other close. Hugs. Hold hands. Whichever are mutually okay. Nonetheless, my experience with public cuddles has been mainly enjoyable.

    Even if someone did not want to do that semi private: I do require that I spend some times with the person hopefully doing a shared activity. Or two. Like playing board games. Get to know each other better, and get more comfortable. Before I accept to go to their place.

  • hogboblinhogboblin

    Yes.

  • LovelightLovelight

    @FunCartel good catch, and points. Not every person that claims to be "honest/kind/etc." is telling the truth! Gotta be cautious always.

  • MarthaSpeaksMarthaSpeaks

    I've had a hard time finding people to cuddle outside too, but there are people who mention enjoying it it in their profile. I have wondered what the problem is with why people refuse public cuddles....my first thought is that they can't push boundaries and grope me or dry hump me in public....I mean they could, but everyone would see! And if I yelled for help, that would cause quite a stir. But maybe that's just the cynic in me. Some people are just uncomfortable with PDA.

  • wrenchwrench

    Always meet in public first, that's rule number one

  • Navyman1010Navyman1010

    Yes your the only one lol

  • cuddlenow69cuddlenow69
    edited June 2019

    I agree with wrench. It is good to meet in public for both sides. My 1st cuddle I wanted to host but it didn't work out so I did the public way. I think this because you want to see if you really are compatible (that you get the good vibes going in you and the cuddler does the job right) for future sessions not just your area if the cuddler is the only one on the site.

  • Bouncing_DougBouncing_Doug

    Makes sense. That is the very best way to be safe! Someone who makes a great cuddle buddy will be fine with it until you feel comfy enough to meet somewhere more personal

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    I do not mind meeting in a public place at all and this is what happens about 30% of the time on a first time meet. However, please do not talk loudly in a public restaurant asking “How long have you been cuddling?” That happened with one pro and a couple of people started staring and I am very self-conscious so it made me uncomfortable. She said it does not matter what they think, and she was right but she was wrong in that it did matter to me. While that may not turn off a lot of people, it did me as I am not one to put my business out in the street. And though it is my hang up, it is my hang up and she failed to understand that and I called off the session.

    She was a bit irritated that I called it off and even mentioned that no one had ever turned her down before. I replied that she did not respect my wishes for discretion in public and that if she was mad that I declined then the whole meeting up thing was purely for her. If it was purely for her then my next thought is that as a pro she is only in it for the money. This was the moment that prompted me to start engaging more non-pros.

  • LovelightLovelight

    @FunCartel wow. She was pretty out of line! As a pro especially, she should know better and be more sensitive to people's needs.

    I am pretty much like you in this. That's certainly something that can make or break a connection.

    That's pretty insensitive, and for some things like that can even cause them much issues. So it's important to be considerate. I also couldn't deal with someone so loud especially, with things many regard as sensitive/private. Although there were other issues as well, I once was helping a guy with computer related things in a library. He was SO loud. I knew it wasn't my fault for his loudness. Though, I still felt a bit... that it was. He asked for help again, I couldn't.

    Hope you left her a nice review about sensitivity training. Or something.

  • great_pillow08great_pillow08
    edited June 2019

    I will only meet new people in public places first! If our temperments don't jive, there's no way I'm cuddling with a person, but you're awesome, so what was HER deal??

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited June 2019

    @great_pillow08 I think she was pretty self-centered and used to getting her way. The first time I asked her to lower her voice she was very annoyed and told me she does not like to be shushed. Which I did not do. I politely asked her if she could please lower her voice with people around as I am sorry, but in the world we live in, too many people misconstrue discussing cuddling in public as me code talking to a hooker. At least that is how I interpreted the looks we got when she said it aloud.

    And thank you, you are awesome too.

  • HugsAndAttitudeHugsAndAttitude

    @great_pillow08 Why do you say @FunCartel is awesome? I am just curious. Have you ever met him? I hesitate to call someone awesome on any Internet forum unless I have met them before. This kind of behavior on the Internet intrigues me.

  • CatloafCatloaf

    @HugsAndAttitude I've peeped his karma (not gonna lie LOL) and they have indeed met.

  • MarthaSpeaksMarthaSpeaks

    I had an outdoor cuddle in the park just yesterday that was fantastic. The sun, the breeze, the shade, the bird sounds, the fresh air, myself and the cuddler. I actually felt a little light headed afterwards. More people should do this.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @HugsAndAttitude That is not a very awesome thing to say, but yes I have met her on a few occasions.

  • lumiere02lumiere02
    edited June 2019

    @MarthaSpeaks I did this too. We met at the café, it was near a park so we cuddled in the park for our first session together. It was very relaxing, sunny too.

  • UKGuyUKGuy

    It wouldn't be very comfortable in a park here:

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    @UKGuy: ...

    [shudders]

    Dude. That is hideous.

    My condolences.

  • HugsAndAttitudeHugsAndAttitude

    @UKGuy Yeah I was thinking the same thing when I saw this thread. Phoenix is not a place to do that and that is not even factoring in the scorpions.

  • cuddlesfordays1cuddlesfordays1

    I’d actually very much be up for a movie cuddle but it has yet to happen for me

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited June 2019

    @FunCartel I don't know how quick she* brought up a potential discussion about cuddling. Though, I would recommend going into a restaurant/coffee shop just to pick up your drink/whatever. Edit: also give a chance to make sure she is who she says she is in a relatively safe environment. end of edit.

    Then, invite her* to walk to a nearby park. So choose a place close to a park. I think just in general that would give you two hopefully plenty of space, and find somewhere not so crowded. Still I don't know what her deal really was. Though, she was pretty lacking consideration for you. This is just a speculation. Though, it's possible that she was trying to market herself, and cared not much for her client's preferences. Or maybe she's just insensitive, and naturally loud.

    Edit: although I get my recommendation isn't for all, and for all seasons. end of edit.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @Lovelight Oh I know how it all works and I have met several potential cuddlers at a restaurant (when I am pretty sure about them), to coffee shops, to a parking lot. This one was just about herself in all aspects. If she has the right to reject me for whatever reason then I have the right to do the same and that is what upset her.

  • LovelightLovelight

    @FunCartel interesting, alright. Some people don't like to be rejected back, and try to get paid for nothing. Though, thankfully, as it seems is your understanding/experience there are plenty of decent cuddlers out there: pros, and non-professionals.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @Lovelight Exactly. Too many mature female cuddlers to lose sleep over one immature bad apple that does not respect my boundaries.

  • [Deleted User]Softsupport (deleted user)

    Preach.....FunCartel you have character.

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