Why do some of you especially guys as has been my experience with:

LovelightLovelight
edited June 2019 in General

Send others messages asking “Do you wanna meet/cuddle tonight/tomorrow/etc.”

Without having a conversation with us first?

I said no before. Though, this seems to be a “trend” for a lack of a better word, it happened again. It also happened to other ladies I hear.

So, why do you also think some do this for?

Edit: some even ignore the fact that our profiles don’t match in what we are looking for. end of edit.

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Comments

  • hogboblinhogboblin

    They just really want to cuddle, clearly.

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited June 2019

    Some folks think because this is a cuddle site means all other rules re normative socially appropriate behavior can be disregarded . Yes people here want to cuddle . It doesn't meant they aren't people first

  • BlueIrisBlueIris Mod

    No idea why people do it, but it happens to me a fair amount. Just makes it easier to screen people out.

  • SweetJenniferSweetJennifer

    Hello everyone, I love this topic. It is sad to realize that this site is filled with males that just don't have the decency to at least introduce themselves and start a conversation. From the very beginning they think all you wanna do is just cuddle right away. I've received horrible messages from males that they want me to text then right away, they invite themselves to my place and want to cuddle tonight. Ehh so sad but nothing really new that some males act this way and treat women as a simple object.

  • CardiacKidCardiacKid
    edited June 2019

    In the case of Pro cuddlers, this is no different than how men make an appointment for a hairstylist, massage therapist, chiropractor etc.

    It occasionally works in reverse. I had a brief convo with a Pro, we scheduled two weeks in advance and now she disregards any messages in my attempt to get better acquainted.

  • SweetJenniferSweetJennifer

    I wanted to be a pro cuddler but after seeing the low"quality" of "customers" out there I opted out and prefer to wait a little. And yes there's a difference in how you make an appointment with barber and how you should talk to a female.

  • Mister_ChrisMister_Chris

    This might stem from the confusion about whether a person is a 'Professional' opposed to 'Non-Professional'. Some people aren't even aware that non-pros exist on this site.

    Best to chalk it up to "this person is confused/misinformed" and let them know you're not a Pro and would like to get to know them first. If the behavior persists, then a good screening/blocking might be in order.

  • SweetJenniferSweetJennifer

    Can people share their opinions in this forum? I did not ask for your "advice" @CelestialTouch as a private message. I actually erased it without reading its content. Express how you feel here in public.
    Thank you

  • CardiacKidCardiacKid

    @SweetJennifer

    A barber is not a hairstylist. Most barbers are old school males. Stylists are 90%+ female.

    Are you imply there are different rules for polite conversation with females in 2019?

  • ToshibazenToshibazen

    @CardiacKid I concur with you.
    @Lovelight I have read your profile in its entirety and you are a beautiful person.
    @SweetJennifer You are correct as is the majority of all people with the desire for respect and reciprocity , from Friendships to relationships it is unfortunately more common for us men to be perceived as selfish and insensitive, because most of us are. From "Trolls" who Bash other peoples comments on CC forums to introverted recluses hiding behind a keyboard, most of us men (boys in regards to aforementioned trolls) are as smelly as the back side of a North bound mule. But for me , I would and do always spend time to read profiles and message accordingly, I love reading other peoples minds ( Get it, read other peoples minds? LOL)

  • ToshibazenToshibazen

    This is a "Cuddling" site, in and of itself should be sufficient for the average minded person to be bare minimum, courteous! A hug and or a cuddle is a "Gift" whether you pay or not. Some men, myself included are more nurturing and feminine than say a more handsome and Robust "Alpha male" , a stereo type yes, but I am old enough to play cards honestly. I Can not say exactly why men act the way we do in the presence of others to make them feel insecure or disrespected , But I can and I do Apologize on their behalf ! :) "God is great, beer is good and people are crazy" :) Cuddle on y'all, cuddle on !!!

  • MJ150MJ150

    @SweetJennifer Men are just straightforward and like to go straight to the point. It has nothing to do with ¨treating women as objects¨ as they will talk to other men the same way.

  • ToshibazenToshibazen

    @MJ150 Speak for yourself , thanks ! I am straightforward as they come how ever there is some truth as to what these women are feeling due to most of us guys being Rough around the edges, to say the least. Minimizing how these women are feeling is exactly what they're talking about, Being insensitive.

  • MJ150MJ150

    @Toshibazen What exactly is your disagreement ?

  • CardiacKidCardiacKid
    edited June 2019

    I think some women use a sample size that would flunk them out of HS statistics. To compound things, feelings are treated as if facts.

    Maybe it's a Canadian male phenomenon
    Let's ask @Lovelight

  • ToshibazenToshibazen

    You saying that it "Has nothing to do with treating women as objects" this is an absolute statement, I do not mean to cause you grief or to become upset, I am simply assuring some, that what they are feeling is accurate to some degree. I have an argument against most "Absolute" when it comes to bigotry or racism or sexism. I apologize If i have offended you my friend :)

  • [Deleted User]CharlesTwisted (deleted user)

    The “culture” changes, but the instincts do not.

    I wish it were otherwise, but it is not possible in our current “culture” to have an open, and honest, discussion about intimacy, sex, gender, roles, power, and desires.

    Especially not on the forums of a website that isn’t certain if it’s a dating site, a hook up site, a place for pen pals, a place for professional therapists, or an online massage parlor...

    Perhaps one day, but today is not that day.

  • CatloafCatloaf

    @MJ150 I think you're right in that men tend to be more straightforward, but at the same time there's a difference between that and then just plain ol' rushing things at an uncomfortable pace. I know a lot of gentlemen who have taken the time, and a lot of others who've wanted to meet right upon saying "hello", and then turned out to be banned later on or ended up being boundary pushers...

  • HugsAndAttitudeHugsAndAttitude

    @Toshibazen I am not trying to start anything, but you seem to be disparaging all other men to benefit yourself and make it look like you are the ultimate male to cuddle. That is kind of trollish behavior and very ego driven classifying others while bragging about yourself. Please, a bit of humility goes a long way.

  • ToshibazenToshibazen

    "Men" the word you used without "Most" or "some" just feels like you are stereo typing the entire male gender, in which case I am a part of and do not agree with, is all I am saying :) WE do not all "Go straight to the point" without saying "Hi, How are you today ?!" Whats the weather like where you are at ? Etc. Etc. You know , common courtesy, Its a thing in Texas anyways :)

  • MJ150MJ150

    @Toshibazen They are just beings straightforward, what does being straightforward has to do with treating someone like an object?

  • MJ150MJ150

    @Catloaf I know, I was just pointing out the fact that it has nothing to do with treating women as objects, they are just being dense and there is no reason to believe they are just doing it because they don´t see women as human beings That´s just ridiculous. .

  • ToshibazenToshibazen

    LOL @HugsAndAttitude Youre funny " I am not trying to start anything" Google Passive aggressive, Im a bit smarter than you think. Humility is a key ingredient to a peaceful comment, not what you've just wrote. You are instigating lol its ok, I expected the trolls to come out when i comment LOL Notice how most of your type of messages will be from males, My point in case and point made. We are selfish and self centered even if its in a Passive Aggressive manner. you guys are just proving my point.

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited June 2019

    It is easy to say well I'm a decent person , I wouldn't do this or that , so therefore your experience is invalid. The OP poses the statement re some men, not all, as is even stated in the thread title . OP is not making generalized statements but is rather speaking from personal experiences. If you are feeling defensive as a male about this, don't blame her for it or try to tear down other posters for agreeing .

  • HugsAndAttitudeHugsAndAttitude

    @Toshibazen I see. Everyone who disagrees with you is a troll? You have an oversized ego to think that. Humility is not promoting yourself as superior while ridiculing others. I did not brag about myself at all as you do. Google humility if you do not understand the word.

  • ToshibazenToshibazen

    also im willing to bet that you are a 3rd if not 4th created profile simply to troll along with the other 2 that actually have images of a persons face . I was bored so i thought i would bring the walking dead to life as I respectfully commented on a subject that most of us men are all to willing to over look and deny, lol Us guys are such jerks :) We fight amongst ourselves while most women team up to defend each other, thats why I like most females and Gays over males/straight males with ego issues. they're/You are so lonely and miserable you have to comment negatively on a very simple subject matter. No where in my comment was i bragging, its not in my nature. I can be passive aggressive like you, but I have to be upset, ahh so maybe you are upset ? I understand.

  • ToshibazenToshibazen

    :3 :3 :3 testing do these emojis work ?

  • ToshibazenToshibazen

    @Catloaf Heya How are you today !? Rain come out of nowhere here In Houston , lol I found me another onesie btw :D bhahahaha I saw a Tigger one and actually thought of you :D

  • ToshibazenToshibazen

    In the voices of the Minions from the movie despicable me "Beedoh-Beedoh-Beedoh" :D Life is good y'all lets just all get along ?! <-----( Dang Im not even smoking, lol)

  • HugsAndAttitudeHugsAndAttitude
    edited June 2019

    @pmvines I agree. Men can make horrible choices and decisions. I know I have made some bad decisions before, but I am always trying to improve. Even when you have the best intentions, I think there is a slight variation between the way men communicate and the way women do. Women add subtlety and detail to much of what they say, while men tend to just say “I will have the number 4 with coffee.” Women on the other hand, will ask “what do you recommend?” and consider the options. Just an analogy I thought of because I am hungry right now.

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