I've been on here a few days and haven't had much luck with messaging other members. I don't want to use a proffesional yet, but i want to find someone who is just like me looking for a common partner and form a friendship.
I don't know of there is another forum already discussing this, so i figured i ask just in case there isn't. Also i know it'll take some time, but just wanted to figure out an average number from everyone.
Been here 2 months only gotten messages from pros, all other messages sent out have yet to be responded to.
I've been on here almost a year and never gotten a message from anyone other then a pro. I think it's probably normal, expecially considering I never message anyone. I heard on sites like Tinder 9 out of 10 messages from guys get unreturned while women might get a ton of messages and just pick and choose who to ignore and who to respond to. This isn't the same thing at all but I bet the response rate isn't a whole lot different. Who wants to end up feeling offended? not me.
I was lucky—within a couple of weeks. I was also lucky that she is still one of the best over a year in and nearly 40 different cuddlers in. There are a handful that I see repeatedly and she is one of them.
This has been asked several times before. There are many more male members than female members. Most of the active female members are pros. Many of the non-pros cuddle only other women. If you live in a major metropolitan area, it might be easier. In a sparsely populated area, it will be more difficult. How old you are is also a factor. Most female members are in their teens and twenties, so if you are a guy over around 35, it becomes progressively more difficult.
@UKGuy that is totally not my experience! I’m a 50yr old woman and not a pro and all of my partners so far have been men. And I’ve been here less than a month and have had something like 8 or 9 cuddle sessions.
Only 1 was a repeat and I think he’ll be a regular partner. Theres one more that I would like to make a regular partner too. Both close to my age. But you never know who wants what.
The female experience IS a totally different than the male experience on this site.
I've been here for... A week? 2? Something like that. I've received one message, and gotten replies to one (neither resulted in anything), while another went unreplied. Neither were Pros.
I’ve had this account almost a year and still haven’t found anyone. Had multiple accounts before that I deleted after having no luck.
Gentlemen, it also depends on your region, your age, your approach, your desperation and that oh so subjective portion of it all—the vibes the woman gets. You can’t do a thing about vibes because we all get vibes about different things and a female is definitely entitled to follow those vibes.
But if you are 55 trying to get a 20 yo...probably not going to happen. If you are in Kalispell, Montana you are probably limited with your selection. If your approach is “I am free now let me get my cuddle freak flag on” is your approach, it diminishes your chances. And if you are pleading —“For the love of god I am the last man to not get hugs and the doctor says I will die of notouchinitis if we do not cuddle”—well good luck with that.
In short there are factors, within your control and outside your control, that play into the great Cuddle symphony.
@MarthaSpeaks - the OP is a man and I thought he wanted to know the prospects of finding a partner for a man. I stated only facts. It's already well known that it is relatively easy for a woman to find cuddle partners. Your experience proves that. For a man it is totally different.
@MarthaSpeaks - I wanted to chime in as well, since my experience on here seems fairly similar to yours. I am a 49 year old female enthusiast. Been a member for about 18 months. I have only cuddled with men so far and those are the only people who have reached out to me on here for cuddling purposes.
I've cuddled with 5 people; 2 on more than one occasion. I've met up and chatted with a few more, but the fit just wasn't right. Being in San Jose/Silicon Valley - yes, I am in a well populated metropolitan area. Also, I prefer to cuddle people who are roughly my own age. My preference is cuddlers between 40-60 - give or take. I frequently get messages from men as young as 20. No, they have not bothered to note my age preference as stated in my profile. :-0
@UKGuy you said “Many of the non-pros cuddle only other women.” I have only cuddled men so far. No women have contacted me.
And “most female members are in their teens and twenties” I’m just one who is not.
Just sayin’.
@UKGuy I have said this before and again I'm not criticizing or trying to bash , but your profile states you will not message folks . That is they must reach out to you if there is to be contact made . You are very vocal about your lack of prospects , but you also aren't putting in effort . I think a lot of people would agree that you are an interesting , well rounded , decent looking person . You just might have better chances if you reach out to folks They wont know what they are missing if you don't speak up and make your presence known...
@mdx71
It is exactly the same thing as any other “dating” site.
I disagree @CharlesTwisted there are a lot of folks here purely wanting to cuddle. Not date or hook up . To say it's no different than a date site discredits the intent. In fact biggest complaint I hear from women on here is that they have a hard time finding men here who want to keep it platonic and are truly here to cuddle . Even with the paid cuddlers, often there are disrespectful sleazy men who think they can just flash some cash for favors. It is not what this site is built upon.
@pmvines Absolutely!!!! Spot on.
To bring it back on topic, I would say that it is possible to meet people on here for a cuddle. I have met three people on here for a cuddle each experience different in its own way, but it was a good 5months before I met the first one.
As a retired Male, my sole option is a Pro. Lots of younger Pros are clueless on how to run a service business. The best are 32-50.
@pmvines - my profile does not state I won't message anyone. What it does say is I won't message anyone solely because they visit my profile. I think that's a valid stance to take. I do look at the gender, location and age of all my visitors. Most of the people who visit my profile are either (A) in other countries or other states, (B) men, or (C) well outside my age range. I get very few if any visitors who would be prospective cuddlers. If I did I might consider messaging them. Maybe I'll start a trial period of messaging every visitor I get and I'll report back the success rate later.
I haven't had much luck finding women who want to just cuddle for free. They will say that, but they actually want a regular relationship. They just use this site as another avenue to finding one. So that means its even less likely they'll cuddle with someone unless they think you're relationship material !
@melancholy - I was curious so I visited your profile. To me (and most women I would imagine) it seems rather weird. Your photo is weird and your 'About Me' is weird. Even your username is not the greatest choice. All this might lead people to think you are weird. Why not replace that photo with a more appealing one, and replace the 'about me' text with something about yourself. A suggestion: "I'm looking for occasional cuddles, not an ongoing relationship".
Considering this is not a “dating” site, it is pretty astonishing (and really amusing) how much of the advice and tactics for connecting with fellow, amateur cuddlers is exactly the same as for dating...
Use an attractive photo, be earnest but not desperate, be interesting but not weird, be curious but not creepy...
(I don’t think that those who created and run the site intended for it to be a dating site, but I do notice that most of the humans that use this site utilize it via the lens of the dating paradigm.
The addition of “professionals”, service fees, and commissions certainly adds to the confusion...)
@CharlesTwisted that is pretty much the case for most activities that require human interaction . Cuddling is not purely transactional . It requires a fair amount of wanting to share space and time and contact with somebody . It's not about whether there is attraction or a desire to date them. It's about whether or not you will feel comfortable with the experience. Having things in common , being able to converse , not being creepy or desperate or over bearing does matter. You would like it to be purely about cuddling and take the need for human connection and commonality out of the equation . I understand . I wish human nature were more like that . Where we could see each other based solely on our needs and nothing more . A paid cuddler is a good avenue for that .However if you are not seekiing that serviice it does require some effort on your part . Still doesn't make this a dating site .
I ask myself out on a date in front of my cuddle partner so it takes the pressure off of them.
Non-pro woman here. 26. Maybe 10 guys messaged me before I answered to one and we had a cuddle session. Took 2 weeks, more or less. Most men before him were not giving off platonic vibe and a date is not what I'm looking for. The current cuddler is married and all he wants is a little sister, basically. That's what I wanted, not some badly veiled attempt at getting a date. You'd think the purpose of this website is clear but nope.
@UKGuy gotcha I may have misunderstood then
Still looking... now that I've moved out of a red state, the seems to be less crickets chirping. It's just tragic how men cuddling men is not ok in this day and age.
I've never been messaged by anyone other then a pro and never sent a message to anyone other then a pro. Asking a stanger if they want to cuddle is just awkward and I'm on here because I like cuddling, not going through a whole dance. A pro cuddler is there to cuddle, there's no question's or hesitation. I'm not worried about trying to make friends with a pro and don't care if they like me or not. They are doing a job and I am buying it, it's pure and simple. Why complicate your life? Seems like people are worrying about not getting any messages, maybe it would help to just change your expectations. If you make a friend on here then great, but wouldn't worry and definatly don't think something is wrong with you if you don't.
I just had my first cuddle thru this site. Or was a very positive and relaxing experience. But yes, it was a paid session. That's not something I see myself doing a lot of.
I've been on a couple of weeks and response times are slower than, say, a typical online dating site. But then the goals are different. What I'm finding is it's making me think about reaching out within my circle of friends to arrange platonic cuddling.
This is something that point to be a social norm. I might be high on endorphims right now ? but can't we all just get along?
@CharlesTwisted "be interesting but not weird"
you got any advice on how to best go about that and find the line?