Well from my perspective, I always offer to chat and see how compatible we are and never get responses. I always include my photos too. So either I’m ugly or there are no really non-pro cuddles in my area. Almost everyone who responds to me ends up being an untagged pro.
@Sideon Whatever. I will ignore you from now on like I will anyone who makes veiled petty threats.
@letscuddleasap - you might want to think about changing your username. That being said, my experience after nearly eighteen months on this site mirrors yours. It really does not matter much what you say or how you say it, the chances of connecting with a female non-pro are virtually zero. I'm sure there are approaches that would put someone off, but there is nothing you can do or say that will guarantee a successful outcome.
MOD: Comment removed. Trolling comments - no bueno. [SoulcuddlerZ]
Hey I’m sorry for being anxious everyone. I don’t mean to cause conflict
@Sideon they should read profiles. Everyone should not just guys.
If they are smokers, etc., and someone doesn't want to connect with smokers: then it’s pretty pointless, and annoying they contact. It's pretty much like walking into a restaurant and asking if they sell computers.
The get to know me I don’t need to dive into each other’s life deep. Though, like I said it does make me, and others alike feel objectified that they don’t care to talk with us before they are just like “Wanna meet?” That's not saying they should talk to me this way or that way. It's stating how it makes people feel. As well as wondering why some do things this way.
Where is the "expection"?
@MJ150 it's not talking with others and just asking "if they wanna cuddle" that can make some feel like an object. I also want men/people that do this way to understand that they are complete strangers, and some of us need to get a bit of a feel for them before we can just be like: "let's meet." As well as give us a chance to exchange anything that needs to be known prior to meeting.
At the end of the day, all are free to go about however. Though, this is the other side of things that's up for consideration.
So how would you want a male to approach you? One that is genuinely seeking a cuddle companion and nothing else. "Hey there I'd like to get to know you more, let's chat" or is that too forward?
@Lovelight You just stated that you feel like an object and provided no explanation whatsoever as to what are the similarities between an object and people being straightforward to you. People don´t treat objects like that, people don´t ask objects stuff, they just pick them up and use them.
@wrench "let's chat" seems unnecessary, pushy, etc. Though, sure the rest is cool. Or "Hey, how are you? I enjoy so, and so. What about you? etc."
Just whatever pleasant that helps create a conversation, and helps others get a feel for the person that would consider meeting them. Or they would consider meeting. Either way.
@MJ150
"You just stated that you feel like an object and provided no explanation whatsoever as to what are the similarities between an object and people being straightforward to you. People don´t treat objects like that, people don´t ask objects stuff, they just pick them up and use them."
You can ask your phone/Siri/ things. So, not asking objects things isn't the point. It's not getting to know people a bit, and giving them the opportunity to get a feel for who they'd consider meeting/cuddling with that can make some feel like an object. In which they don't even care to ask how they are, and get to know them a bit. Before jumping to "wanna meet/cuddle?" End of the day, there are women/people who feel uncomfortable with these kinds of approach. The foundation of a good cuddle is striving to understand, and helping one another feel comfortable first.
@BashfulLoner I agree that in person is the best for many in getting to know each other better. However, a bit of a conversation before that stage is still important for many, as well. Along with caring to actually read people's profiles, and message accordingly.
@pmvines for sure, and this as clearly stated isn't about generalization of men.
@DarrenWalker your effort is much appreciated. I also do have similar difficulties from time to time. Though, I make the effort to try and understand others. Along with help others feel more comfortable with me.
Can't respond all now. Though, many of you shared great points!
@Lovelight What about the point that stated a lot of men think this site is only for professionals? Do people normally go to a store and start getting to know the cashier before asking how much for something? Should cashiers feel like objects? Also an AI like Siri is not an object.
So @SweetJennifer was talking all this stuff and look what happened lol she banned
@MJ150 Siri works through an object. People do ask objects stuff, as a result. Again, that's not the point. I already explained the point.
No. Though, walking into a store to buy something isn't the same as potentially getting into an intimate situation with a complete stranger that's asking: "Wanna meet/cuddle tonight?" As though, they were buying objects, or food. So, the link you are tying to make doesn’t work.
Still. Many customers, and employees say "hello" at the very least. While others ask: "how are you?" As part of good customer service. While customers do similar to be courteous, as well.
I can’t speak much about professional cuddlers as I don’t know that side much. However, even them it’s courteous to say along the lines of: “Hello, how are you? I would like to know how much you charge?" Or whatever relevant question(s) one might have. As opposed to something like: "Me want cuddle, you how much charge? Wanna cuddle tonight?" If I am not off on this, for professional cuddlers it goes against their protocol to do last minute plans. Or is it for cancellations? Not sure. Though still, being considerate, and putting some care into others beyond just viewing them as someone/something to fulfill one's desire for physical contact: is important for many like myself!
It's not my place to say how someone should or shouldn't feel. I just share my experience, and the side of others that have similar experience. Then, try to understand others, as well.
Also, inviting a complete stranger especially, women to meet/cuddle for the first time at night goes against the safety of many women/people. Many people need sometime to notify others who they are speaking with and planning to meet. As well as do first time meetings somewhere public and when it's daylight. Which meeting them going late into the night, and last minute fails to provide that consideration for others. Hence, another reason this makes many women/people uncomfortable.
Working trough an object doesn´t make it an object. So no, people does not ask objects stuff.
How many times can a single hair be split?
@FunCartel: It depends. Are the ones doing the splitting also dancing on the head of a pin?
@MJ150 they do ask objects stuff. The phone it’s hardware, etc., all are objects. Siri works through that object. So people ask their phones stuff. Anyway. This isn’t even the point. As I already explained twice or so the point. Edit: Without objects Siri would be pointless. end of edit.
@FunCartel exactly.
Without your body your personality would be pointless. Does that make you your body?
This site says it was “created for cuddling. No need to explain why you’re here. Everyone on here gets it”. With that being said, yes we are all people! I’ve only cuddled with “professionals” and I use that loosely because more than half the people I’ve cuddled with were exact opposite of professional and still took my money and wanted more! Cuddling is an awesome thing! If you’re on here, why not cuddle??
@MJ150: When I talk to people online, they usually don't get to interact with any part of my body at all (not even looking at pictures). They just get my personality, expressed through words. So far as they're concerned, my body might as well not even exist. Yup—a personality without a body!
Gotta say, my personality doesn't seem terribly pointless to me. Even without my body in the picture. But then, of course, I am me....
@MJ150 for Siri to exist it needs to have an object to exist through. So, people do talk to their phones: which is, an object.
My basic first contact to others is a hello, followed by a comment about why they personally appeal to me (something(s) from their profile), follow by I would like to chat and see if we click and go from there. This would include people too far away to cuddle that just seem interesting and I find curious. And yes, I would say I need to "like" the person I'm going to cuddle with - I have to have a genuine interest in them as a person.
Some it seems from this thread that some of you would find that very forward or aggressive?? Too much like finding friends/dating? Don't know what to tell you, it has worked well for me, so I guess different strokes for different folks?
@TouchIsTLC I'd say that's perfect. I think when it comes to thinking maybe the person is "looking to date" at least for me, it's based of off profiles. Or username. If either seems off then I am extra cautious. Though, I had men message me like that. Or similar. I found quite pleasant.
Two part beats here as to why the demand. 1. If the person requesting the cuddle is lonely , more likely they are feeling it right then and there and just want to feel happy. 2. This is a service. EVERYONE wants a service right away. Hence why Amazon gives two day shipping right away. Nature of the beast for any business nowadays.
@ckanjo I would not compare a person providing an intimate service to a package by Amazon. Do you expect a female cuddler to be passed from a strange man in a dock to a strange man on the truck to another strange man in a warehouse to another strange man on another truck etc.? Order custom furniture that lasts for awhile or a Tesla—they take several weeks or months but they provide quality. Same with a good cuddler. So the nature of the cuddling beast is good things come to those that wait.
@ckanjo service people who most* if not all, have records as to who you are, GPS tracker on them/their deviceses, trucks, etc. Or have much protection on/with them.
Isn't the same as cuddlers that need the time to prepare with each individual. Nor is doing such services the same as getting into intimate situations with a complete stranger: at least that is mostly speaking from the side of non professionals.
I can't speak much* about* professionals as that's not my experience. Still being friendly with them is important in helping to foster a good experience for both.
I think it's safe to say that most enthusiasts especially women, need time to get an idea of what someone is like. As well as prepare to meet them, gather information to give to a safety contact or more, and meet in public preferably daytime for the first or so times.
Just because we are here to cuddle doesn't mean courteous behavior should go out the window. We are more than just our bodies. If people don't try to connect with us on a mental/emotional level, and help us feel at ease with them first: then, keep in mind that many of us will be put off by the failure to do that. Along with the failure to read profiles, and message accordingly. Which then most likely will leave some men/ wondering why women/ don't return their messages. It isn't, or at least shouldn't be always all about them/ and their needs. Most times a potentially good cuddle needs some patience, and consideration put into creating it.
@FunCartel agreed.
@Lovelight You conveniently avoided my question. But let me use some actual logic to apply your ¨answer¨ to my question.
for you to exist you need to have a body to exist through. So, people do talk to your body: which is you.