If a person turns out to be someone different than described

KenseKense
in General

Should we report them? Apparently, the person I cuddled with is a Transexual that listed themselves as Female. I'm a little disturbed and upset about this. I noticed there was a similar locked thread about this but is this a bannable offense? Especially since this person was listed as a "Professional". This is deceptive and disappointing, how often does this happen here? I'm very cautious now going forward.

Comments

  • SideonSideon

    In case you missed the admin's response on the closed thread:

    In closing, the official position on the original matter is that all profiles should be accurate, particularly for Pros.

    In regards to "going forward," you have choices:

    1) talk on the phone prior to meeting,
    2) use Google-Talk, KIK, Skype (etc) to meet virtually,
    3) meet in public prior to a cuddle session,

    and then based on mutual agreement, you may or may not schedule a cuddle session.

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited June 2019

    @Sideon gave a pretty good response!

    EDIT:

    Although, I would say it is not always easy to tell especially of off video calls. Or voice. Some biological women can sound more... masculine. Or if said person had facial feminization surgeries, etc. Though, still highly adviced to video call. At the end of the day, if the person doesn't match their description. Unfortunately, @Kense then you've been misled. end of edit.

    @Kense sure, you can report. They should have been transparent about this especially, as professionals. Their discomfort to disclose the fact that their body doesn't match the sex which they claim to be: should not override your comfort to cuddle with someone who's body does match the sex which the claim to be. Pretty much this exact topic was discussed at length in the thread Sideon is refering to.

  • KenseKense

    That's the thing we talked on the phone prior and everything checked out. Sounded just like a person born female. Regardless I just look and the person has deactivated their profile. Another thing the person had lots of positive Karma so I'm obviously not the only person who was fooled.

  • SashamcgeeSashamcgee

    Positive karma would indicate they had a positive experience.

  • KenseKense

    Positive experience thinking they were with a Woman, not being deceived into thinking they were with one.

  • SideonSideon

    Karma reflects their positive experiences. You don't know that they were or weren't deceived.

  • KenseKense

    If somebody lists themselves as a Woman that cuddles men, I highly doubt anybody would be ok paying $120 for an hour with a transexual. Would you be Ok going to cuddle a Woman then show up and a man is behind the door? That's deceptive and a strait up LIE.

  • SashamcgeeSashamcgee

    *straight

  • ReltvlyCanshesReltvlyCanshes

    @kense all that discussion about karma and other is irrelevant to the question. The answer is you could and should report the deception.

  • KenseKense
    edited June 2019

    Pointing out grammatical or spelling errors on forums is a form of trolling and an attempt to be passive aggressive because you don't like my topic. I know what you're doing, your next post will be calling me a transphobe or something.

  • SideonSideon

    It's unfortunate that they were not upfront and you felt deceived - it's understandable to feel upset.

    But hopefully you have strategies for the future in how to navigate, communicate, and connect with someone else for a cuddle session who is mindful of mutual safety, disclosure, and honesty.

  • Sam4744Sam4744

    Trans women are women.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    What @BashfulLoner said. Plain and simple.

  • Sam4744Sam4744

    Where is the deception? The person in question is a woman and they listed themselves as a woman. Plain and simple.

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited June 2019

    @Sam4744 their body doesn't match that of a biological* woman. Hence trans women. People have a right to cuddle with someone who's body matches that which they seek to cuddle with. Most of all, they have a right to not be lied to.

    This discussion has been recently had, and over with.

    Just waiting for moderators to help sort it out.

  • oberonoberon

    Trans women are women. Repeating again for the people in the back.

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    @oberon: Transwomen are women. Gender-wise. But when it comes to physical sex?

    Body is not psyche, psychology, or social role.
    Sex is not gender.

    Transwomen are women—with (in many cases) male bodies.
    Transmen are men—with (in many cases) female bodies.

    They may not like it. I know I sure don't like having a body that doesn't match my agendered self. But I'm not gonna lie about what type of body I have. I mean, I'm not gonna wave my private parts all around the forums or anything; but I'm not going to tell people that I'm physically neither male nor female, because that would be untrue.

    When you cuddle somebody, you not only touch their soul (as it were)—you touch their body. And most people have preferences for what they wanna touch. So don't lie about what you've got! That'll upset people.

  • LovelightLovelight

    @oberon the point is that trans women's bodies don't match that which they identify with. Most people who seek to cuddle/ are uncomfortable to cuddle with people who have biologically male body. Especially, when they have been misled and not allowed to make their own decision. Those people have a right to honesty about the people they share intimate/space with, and to decide who they share their space with.

    We are going from "respect trans people's rights to exist" to "you must cuddle/be intimate with trans people or you are transphobic... that may even deserve jail." That's a dangerous mentality. That's all I'll say.

  • Sam4744Sam4744

    If you just flat out don't want to cuddle with any trans person, fine. You're transphobic, but whatever, right?

    The onus shouldn't be on them to out themselves and potentially put themselves in danger. You should be the one to state that you don't want to cuddle with trans people, that way they know they stay away from you.

  • [Deleted User]SoulcuddlerZ (deleted user)

    Again, the official position is that a member's profile is expected to be accurate. If someone is trans or otherwise gender non-conforming, it should be noted, especially if that member is a pro.

    Closed. 19 JUN 2019 19:19 EDT

This discussion has been locked.