Noob questions...

guest1guest1
edited July 2019 in General

I just joined today. I heard "Cuddle Salons" were "a thing" in Europe, and decided to see if there was anything like that going on here.

Background: I'm a 41yo single M. I had a couple of really bad relationships, and have trust issues. I'm also kinda depressed (low self esteem) and have social anxiety. All of these wonderful traits make it hard to meet people, and harder to not run them off...

I'm really curious how all this works? Why would a strange female want to cuddle a douchebag (me)? How would a chick ever be able to trust a stranger in this way? As I said, I've been "alone" for a long time, so if a female were to embrace me, I'm going to get hard. Isn't that going to make things really akward? How can I trust that a potential random cuddler (looking for recreational, not professional) isn't using this as a front to "case marks" (get inside to rob later)?

I know I have issues, and I'm am certainly not trying to disparage anyone with an honest heart here. I'm just trying to understand, and see if maybe I can find a way to embrace this and give back what y'all seem to be offering...

MOD: Removed swear word. Edit italicized [SoulcuddlerZ]

Comments

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    I think it’s all a matter of trust. If you make a connection with an enthusiast, they are there for the same reason. To feel a purely platonic physical bond with someone.

    Getting hard is normal. You just switch positions and go back to being comfortable.

    Just because you have some traits that you may feel is undesirable, don’t sell yourself short. Put yourself out there and show your prospective cuddle buddies that you are a worthy cuddle.

    If you feel uncomfortable at the idea of someone coming to your home for fear of theft or you just aren’t ready to open up that part of your vulnerability, meet in public. See if you’re a good fit by meeting for coffee or at a movie theatre.

    It’s just about trust and hoping to make new friends. I hope this helped to understand a bit.

  • guest1guest1

    @Sheena123 thanks for the reply... All of this, including this post, is my way of trying to break out ya know? I'm tired of being alone and need to relearn how to trust and connect...

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    Then you’re in a good place ☺️ Keep reaching out and talking to people on the forums. It puts you out in the limelight and you’ll find more people will look at your profile and see who you are and what you’re about. Having a descriptive profile would definitely help people to connect with you and find common ground :)

  • guest1guest1

    Right on... Day 1 though lol. I kinda just wanted to take a look and see what's what. If I were to go beyond the forum, I'd use my real email and create a profile... Issues 😅...

  • memortonmemorton

    In terms of simply meeting other / new people, have you tried finding a Meetup in a subject that interests you? I find it easier to meet others in a social activity opposed to going to a singles happy hour at a bar.

  • UKGuyUKGuy

    @guest1 - Just don't put 'douchebag' in your profile.

  • guest1guest1

    @UKGuy so that's what I've been doing wrong 🤣

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