@James536 I totally agree with that. A lot of wasted time checking banned/deleted accounts.
@James536 You can already see if an account is banned from the forum. The profile picture will turn into a red circle with an 'x'. There should be some sort of differentiation for other account statuses though, like "paused", "deactivated", and "deleted". Perhaps a faded profile picture with a tag underneath it.
can we plz ad gratitude crytasls on teh forums?
What is the purpose of the cuddling requests forum page? If you are searching in a certain area, wouldn't you just search for cuddlers in that area and message? As a professional, I sometimes use it when I will be in a new area, but the advertising on that page seems to be getting a bit out of hand... A lot of Facebook groups have limitations as to how often you can advertise. I'm wondering if we want any sort of rules or guidelines for that page? But starting with the general question of what is the need it's supposed to be fulfilling? I'm not sure if it is currently fulfilling any purpose or if anyone feels like it is helping them. :-/
But starting with the general question of what is the need it's supposed to be fulfilling?
It prevents non-discussion threads from saturating the main forum.
Since the forum began most topics have been public cuddle requests rather than actual discussions. I barely ever go in there as I find it quite uninteresting but it seems to be meeting a demand similar to that of /r/cuddlebuddies
I believe this came up in another thread, that non-professionals want a safe place to request cuddles with other non-professionals. The advertising by some professionals can get a bit excessive in there, which can sour a lot of people's attitudes. I would propose, if people would like, to have a general rule that a professional can post at most once a week, maybe even less than that, and are required to indicate in the title of the post that they are a professional. And a tip for non-professionals to indicate in the thread detail if they are specifically NOT looking for professionals (since personally, I typically will message people directly from that forum instead of commenting a bunch, and think that's a more polite way to keep that forum clean of professionals). A lot of Facebook groups do this, so they can allow advertising, but in a controlled manner 😕 Anyway, just noticed other people also talking about this and I agreed, but want to keep a controlled way for professionals to still be in that forum. Hard to implement a rule like that though...
I agree with @ubergigglefritz about the idea of having a place for non professionals to find non professional for cuddle sessions. Having a separate area (splitting cuddle requests in 2) would be one solution but another would be to introduce a flair/tag system for when people are posting threads similar to on sites like reddit.
Professionals would be required to attach the [professional] tag if they're posting an advertisement, or at the very least mention in the title of the thread that they are a professional in some way EG "professional cuddler touring the X area from 17th of Y to 20th of Y". I've noticed a few professionals not mentioning this and it comes across as a bit disingenuous. They know that they're getting a lot more views by not mentioning it, which is why they do it.
No issue at all with professionals advertising themselves as a base concept as it's kinda required for them to flourish and get noticed but the way some are doing it puts a bad taste in my mouth. The majority are open and great, friendly people on the forums.
@Zundar - the place for non-pros to find non-pros is called 'Search', you click 'Cuddlers' then you enter your search criteria - one of which is 'HIDE PROS'.
Whether there is another way to accomplish the same thing or not, professionals should indicate they are such in the title and not over post, in my opinion 😕 Non-professionals may want to post in there for their own reasons and that's fine.
What I might do is technically prevent Pro accounts from posting in 'Cuddle Requests' but have a sub-forum inside it called 'Pro Requests' that they can post in.
Wherever pros are allowed to "advertise", there should be a defined amount they are allowed to post. Personally, I find it a little redundant to advertise the fact that you are where your profile already lists you as being (with no special or anything alongside it), but I would say right now the bigger issue is the amount and it not being clear that the person posting is a pro... 😕 I think once a week should be the most anyone should need to advertise and that might help keep it cleaner so people can actually find information if they are looking... But I feel for people looking for non-enthusuasts, so a separation could be appreciated 😊 As a professional, I would appreciate more efficient posting and less clutter. Constant advertising doesn't make anyone feel good I don't think 😞
I'm only looking at practical options without any moderation overhead.
The other option I'm thinking about is to outright prevent Pros posting in that section at all. It's tempting.
I'd be surprised if Pros get any traction from these forum ads. I suspect they do it just because they can.
I was kind of wondering if ANYone gets any traction from that forum. Ha. But it's good to have a place where the desire to post requests is appropriate, like you mentioned ;-) For that similar reason, it might be good to have a place where professionals CAN post, so that they don't end up posting elsewhere. A sub-forum would work. It would just be nice if people would use it sparingly so it can be possibly useful and not push people away from checking it. But yeah, I understand not wanting to add in more moderation ;-)
Maybe a recommendation feature where you can recommend a cuddler that you have already met in person to a friend. Would be good for making people feel safer knowing that the cuddler is someone who was recommended and already vetted out by their friend.
@mdx71 Just talk a few times in messages and leave karma 😊 Having some good karma definitely helps in meeting new people!
**I HONESTLY WISH YOU GUYS COULD BLOCK IPP ADRESSES. SO THE PEOPLE OF THESE BANNED PROFILES WOULDNT BE BACK WITH ANOTHER PROFILE JUST. **
@Dulc3 The moderation team already bans IP addresses of problematic users and has been doing so for a long time. The problem with banning an IP address is that it isn't foolproof. Even if their address at home is blocked from entering the site, the banned user can walk over to a coffee shop using public Wi-Fi and make a new account there, if they are desperate enough to get around it, sadly.
@ubergigglefritz Well the recommendation isn't for me, More like an option some women or men might appreciate just based on how I've had some people tell me about creepy people they've met. Taking the recommendation of a friend you know and who has met someone in person is better then reading karma from people you don't know. Anyway just a suggestion for a feature that might work for some people.
Is it possible to remove forum access for repeated TOS transgressors instead of constantly closing threads? I'd rather see trolls kicked than discussions get stifled.
@Sideon I’ll second your suggestion. I’m weary of finding an interesting thread closed because one or two people wee jerks.
@Sideon I agree , and there is the option to ban a user from the forums only rather than banning from the site . I see it fairly often . The person shows as banned next to username on forum but when you click on their page they are still there and you can message them etc.
Thanks, @pmvines ! My request stands, though: apply the TOS rules liberally and use that forum ban button instead of closing threads.
I would be nice to see if the cuddlers were an incall or an outcall on their main search picture so you dont have to open up all the profiles to check....
@cuddlerman On the search page if you look to your left, you can select "host", "guest" or "public" in the Cuddle Place box.
PS: I find the use of "incall" and "outcall" to be a pretty poor move...it's a term widely (and more frequently) used by escorts. I wish professionals wouldn't use them so that it gives more credence to what we do. Sends a mixed message.
@Sideon You have my vote on that suggestion. There’s always a couple of people who love to instigate, resulting in unneeded drama within the group. One of my discussions was closed due to a couple of pessimistic members who enjoyed confrontation ( 1 of whom was Banned yesterday & I’m very happy about).
I do feel some members are quick to judge a discussion topic based on their personal opinion, beliefs or receiving joy from instigating. They then enter attack mode with their words and should quickly be reported other than responded to. I’ve made that mistake in replying, which is exactly what they hope for.
Also, with people joining daily, there’s always going to be discussion duplicates. It shouldn’t be a big deal and the sarcastic “this topic looks familiar” comment is not necessary. Members aren’t going to search the archives before posting a discussion topic. They likely browse through all the recent discussions and then move forward.
I believe this was already requested by someone but I’d love to see all “contributions” from Banned members get permanently deleted. Nobody needs to see their nonsense. Thank you.
May I note that this is a site that will draw in people who do not necessarily have the most amazing people skills? It seems like they are treated a bit harshly when they try to interact and are ostracized in a place they come to as a last hope for comfort after all else has failed.
Bashing them publicly as a group is equally as upsetting as their behavior may be. It reminds me a bit of bullying in school. It would be nice for publicly bashing other members to be against the rules when we all have the option of simply flagging any offending comments and allowing moderators to handle things more politely behind the scenes. By bashing I mean name calling, personal attacks, and hurtful statements that are directly against the person speaking rather than the actual topic being discussed. There may be one obnoxious post and then a page worth of posts attacking the person who made one obnoxious post. It adds to the problem and effectively ruins the whole discussion thread for anyone reading it later.
I am all for a forum ban rather than a site ban for people who aren't really crossing the line into inappropriate topics such as sexualized cuddling. A temporary forum ban for first offenders might be good as well rather than a permanent one.
@RaindropSweetie Ditto. 100% agree. People over do it with the sarcasm and don't understand that is's hurtful.
Add a app on the iOS store so I don’t always have to do to it on my browser
@RaindropSweetie AGREED!!!!!!
As a professional, I think it would be really convenient to have a place on the cuddle request to include location. I had at least one location snafu cost me a cuddle. I thought they wanted to come to my office and they thought I was going to drive to Seattle. We didn't figure out the miscommunication until the day before.