How do you deal with fake profiles? The person say they are average or slim and you meet them for a cuddle session and they are the total opposite of what the profile states. How would you handle this situation?
Well... first I'd wonder who all they hang out with. I mean, let's be frank here: I listed myself as average when I first signed up, because all the people in my immediate social area are skinny as all get-out. I had no idea my build wasn't average until I started getting messages suggesting I reconsider.
It's entirely possible they're not trying to fool you at all. Fake profiles? Well, maybe. But then again, maybe not.
Since the build of my buddy doesn't matter to me, I'd probably handle this situation by having a nice cuddle—and maybe at some point I'd bring up the possibility of shifting their build description a little. I mean, it's so tough to describe yourself in reference to the rest of humanity when you're only familiar with a small section of the rest of humanity....
For women, add 20 to 45 pounds. Makes them cuddly, I think.
You could try asking their BMI or ht. & wt
Well I get I alot (people lying abt how they really look. I try to text and talk to the person and they will usually give hints that they may have exaggerated thier looks, and I'm usually forgiving because sometimes people are insecure. Once I arrive to the session and they don't look like pics, they say something like, "I didnt think you'd come of you knew what I really look like" . I'll try to talk through it and this actually builds a different level of comfort and trust.
Um, it's a cuddle, not a date.
What is the opposite of “average” in your eyes lol. If the person was obese and wrote average that would be misleading. This is not dating but it reminds me of an online date and when you meet the person and instantly realize their pictures were from several years ago and they’re barely recognizable. It happens. I’m not sure why. The last thing I would want is someone to be instantly disappointed when I meet them.
This is absolutely a dating site.
That the dates are platonic doesn’t change the dynamic, only the end goals.
I disagree with the comnent that this is a date site . That only serves to discredit the site and all the folks who strive for this not to be one. To the OP, stating your weight is different doesn't really make the profile fake. And by your standards all women in normal range might be overweight. And in the grand scheme does it matter that much ? I believe in honesty , but I do try to give folks slack when it comes to matters like appearance due to how judgmental folks can be
I agree this isn't a dating site by any means. I assume they meant it has a lot in common with a dating site and functions very similarly? would agree with that if that is what they mean but who knows.
And OP the example given for fake profiles seems pretty tame. It could come down to a matter of opinion rather than being an absolute lie in the case of weight, I'd consider myself a little on the chubby side but I've had people tell me that I'm anything from a stick figure to looking like I have a beer belly. Of course it could still be a lie, but there's a chance it's just them reflecting what they think they are.
In the case of that example I'd shrug, think "that's a little strange but okay" assuming it was something that could be explained by the opinion theory and then get on with the cuddles.
If it was something more extreme, such as them mentioning they were married when their profile stated otherwise, they have a different name to the one they told you they had in messages (though this one could be explained by having a cuddler name for safety reasons so creepy people couldn't google them), have no pets when they say they did, etc. Details that are more indicative of a pathological liar, then I'd probably get the hell out of there - primarily because if I'm going to be cuddling someone I need a level of trust, but also because it'd make me incredibly anxious/paranoid/uncomfortable to be there with someone like that because who knows what else they planned.
Just read a profile. Among many adjectives she uses to describe herself, one is passionate. She reports she in a relationship but hopes to find a great guy and see where it goes. This isn't an uncommon profile. Dating is her hope
If you read a woman's profile and they don't mention anything about cuddling but they do list all their personal qualities and interests, and the qualities they seek in a partner, I usually report the profile with the note "they think this is a dating site". I only do this if it's pretty obvious, if it's not obvious, I give them the benefit of the doubt.
@CharlesTwisted
We routinely ban accounts that are here for dating. This is not a dating website.
I apologize, but our language is terribly clunky, and fraught with additional baggage that has nothing to do with the meaning of of words.
I am not meaning to imply ANYTHING non-platonic.
As you know, @Mark, I routinely report users and profiles that behave in non-platonic, inappropriate ways.
Thank you for the warning, I won’t quibble over the semantics anymore, nor in fact use these forums, as I don’t wish to be banned.
I wouldn't care! If a girl says she's thin and turns out to be plus sized or the opposite, I wouldn't care as long as its still her and she wants to cuddle. That being said, I would never say I was fit or thin unless I was really confident about my fitness level
@CharlesTwisted: I get it. Whenever a person's going to meet anyone, they do tend to agree on a date—but somehow (strangely enough) it hardly ever gets called a date unless intentions aren't platonic. You want to be careful saying you've got a date with the head of accounting, for example, or with your new boss.
English, man. It'll trip you up in weird ways. I know it sure does me.
@boomerang86: "The last thing I would want is someone to be instantly disappointed when I meet them," you say—well said! I agree with that completely. Best to be avoided wherever possible.
I think that the image I have of myself (and therefore the description I give of myself) is accurate... but of course I do. Fingers crossed it's not too far off, anyway.
It doesn't seem to matter what body type you list yourself under, as a woman. I list myself as overweight and literally put 'I am fat' in my profile description and the people who message me (men, mostly) seem to be under the impression that I'm being modest or that I'm just down on my looks and need some reassurance.
I think when your choices are limited you can end up focusing on a profile in such a way that you make that person into your perfect choice and then are predictably disappointed when they turn out to be just normal.
@CosmicCreeprs Putting “I am fat” in your profile would be enough to warn me off you. I suspect it is primarily creepy old men that are 50+ that are the main culprits.
My photos are real cuddlers!
I think if common sense were to prevail in a perfect world we would all understand that descriptors of oneself are subjective. For example, I am quite certain I am the model DC had in mind for Superman and cuddles are my Kryptonite.
But seriously, at some point pics should be exchanged and everyone should know what they are to encounter visually because talk is cheap and Twitter is toxic. If your interpretation of skinny or extra pounds does not match with your partner’s it is no one’s fault; it is just human nature at work.
That is why I include two pictures that attempt to make my body shape clear on my profile. The most common questions I would get were about my body type. If someone asks, "Are you fat?" Well, I don't know. Most people would say no, but I'm sure someone would say yes. Curvy to one person just means fat while curvy to another means hourglass shaped. Athletic may mean thin, or athletic may mean chubby and able to bench press 250. Asking for weight is no use either. A person can be 150 lbs of chub, bones, or no muscle. A person may be 200lbs of solid muscle.
In my opinion, my body type is:
Works Out, but Definitely Likes Donuts ;p
I like to work out, but I like to stay soft enough to feel like my idea of what it means to be feminine.
A picture clears up a lot of vague assumptions. When in doubt, politely ask for pictures that show body type.
@RaindropSweetie your description of yourself would be the same as mine of myself except change donuts to ice cream. Lol
@fun cartel. Yeah. I weigh in at about 325. On various sites I see photos of guys at least my size who check off “a few pounds extra.” I know most operators are too polite to have “morbidly obese” as a category. But a few pounds extra says to me that you could get back in shape in 30 to 60 days tops.
@mickcuddle Many people have body dysmorphia and are negative and critical about themselves as a result so it is hard to be objective about one’s body and appearance. A lot of our profiles and descriptors are in the eye of the beholder.
@funcartel. I think I was saying the same thing, just not in so kind of terms. I’m not suggesting people lie, especially if the post a current photo. Just that we can’t get too excited about which box they check on the questionnaire.
@mickcuddle Ditto
I've met some that didn't post recent photos and I believe it's probably because of their weight. Also, some look totally different without the make-up. It doesn't really matter to me because I'm on this site to cuddle, not date or have other hidden agendas. The only thing that annoys me is the guys posing as women. That's why I usually ask the person to call for voice verification before meeting.
Yea- the “guys posing as women” is an issue. I was expecting Caitlyn and got Bruce.
Ah, this again.
Yes: we all agree that women with traditionally male bodies should be upfront about their body type. No: having a male body does not make a transwoman a "guy posing as a woman." She is a woman. Just not a woman with the type of body you were hoping for/expecting.
And yes, she should describe her body type as accurately as possible—but we all know others don't always see the same thing we do when we look at ourselves. Perception is partisan. We see what we're prone to see; not always what's there.
What's your body type? Slim? Average? Curvy? Overweight? Over what weight? Are you sure?
Femininity and masculinity in body type can be equally complex.
Unless you were born genetically as a woman you're not a woman. You can call yourself what you want. But you're not technically a woman. Same goes for a woman who feels they are a man. There are people here who are deceitful of this on purpose. I know it's a different time in 2019 and everyone is sensitive about offending people but you are not a woman if you're born with a Penis.
There are some medical genetic syndromes in which it’s ansolutely difficult to say if a person is a male or female. I think those are the only exceptions .
Which Genetic Syndromes are you referring? hermaphroditism? In the case of "intersexed" groups, that is a biological anomaly. They are not choosing something based on how they feel, they are the way they are biologically. Some have fused genitals or both sex organs making it hard to differentiate the actual sex. It's not the same as a man feeling they are a woman and claiming to be one based on emotions.