Behaviours

neeshaneesha
in General

Is it rude to fall asleep while cuddling? Why do so many want to meet for dinner or coffee before the actual cuddle session? I work 2 full time jobs and am a single mom just making time for a relaxing cuddle sessions takes a bit of skill and a small miracle so to try and do 2 different dates is almost impossible...

Comments

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    Great topic @neesha. I think a provider falling asleep five minutes in is rude.

  • BlueIrisBlueIris Mod

    I don't like it when someone falls asleep during a cuddle. You can sleep at home by yourself.

    Why so many want to meet in person before the actual cuddle is to assess the other person's personality so they can make a better informed decision if they want to cuddle that person. I once Skyped someone that I'd been messaging for a couple of weeks. He seemed articulate and well educated in a typed message. But I knew within 5 minutes of Skyping him that I didn't want to meet him.

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited August 2019

    @neesha yes, great topic!

    "Coffee" I can understand. Although I prefer tea, plus it doesn’t give one bad breath... I suppose depending on the type, and what one adds to it. I like plain tea. lol.

    I’d prefer not to get close with others especially first time after having consumed things like coffee. Although, having a good gum, or something at an appropriate time can ease that. So, I’d go for tea, water, or some fruity juice. I tend to prefer them anyway.

    https://www.verywellhealth.com/home-remedies-for-bad-breath-89268

    Dinner................. errrerrrrre I don’t know... I mean still errrerrr. I seldom even go for dinner with my existing friends, let alone a cuddle partner I am most likely just getting to know.

    Though, I suppose one may ask because they may be making dinner and want you to spend over around that time. Though, don’t want to be eating while you’ve nothing. So, they ask/invite you.

    I think it's just better to cuddle before or after dinner, as much as possible.

    However, it could depend on the type of arrangement. Although, some (usually men I hear) treat the platform (wrongly) as dating. So, they are actually asking the woman out. I'd probably ask why...

    If pro cuddler is being asked to dinner. Then...... maybe the enthusiast wants someone to have dinner with, whatever their reason may be. He or she could want the same with another enthusiasts, though, it then comes down more to whatever works best for both, and why that's being requested.

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited August 2019

    I'd want to meet for drinks because I want to actually have a conversation and have some emotional connection with the person I am considering to share touch with. To also get a feel to see if we vibe reasonably.

    As for sleeping. Not my thing... I like to stay awake, cuddle, and converse however much we seem to want. If we are on similar frequency/can both read cues, then we'd pretty much know when to converse, and when not to.

    EDIT:

    @neesha

    “... I work 2 full time jobs and am a single mom just making time for a relaxing cuddle sessions takes a bit of skill and a small miracle so to try and do 2 different dates is almost impossible...”

    Perhaps write something like that on your profile. Express being short on time, and give an idea about how you’d like to be approached. You can read mine if you’d like an idea. Though, your profile would probably be the opposite. As I do want to get to know my partners to an extent, and build a or a few in person rapport.

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    @neesha: It's rude to fall asleep while cuddling if your buddy doesn't want you to fall asleep while cuddling. Otherwise it's fine; so just make sure to talk about it before you start.

    Meeting for tea or coffee or even dinner can be a good way to get a feel for the physical presence of your potential buddy, plus giving you both time to talk about what sort of cuddle you're hoping for—a sleeping one, a talking one, a TV-watching one...? You can lay out what you want, explain what you don't want, and evaluate their reactions to your desires and boundaries based on facial expression and body language (which isn't usually as messed up on most people as it is on me).

    It does take time out of your life, and sometimes it ends with the pair of you deciding not to cuddle after all, but it can be a valuable part of the vetting process.

    Of course, you can always skip it if you find somebody who's okay with skipping it. Given my nocturnal schedule, and autistic body language/facial expressions, I nearly always skip the pre-cuddle meeting. Okay, I haven't had the world's best cuddles as a result, but it's not like they've been horrible and traumatic, either, so....

    It's up to you. Finding something that works can be difficult. Good luck!

  • [Deleted User]CharlesTwisted (deleted user)

    Some of us are mutants, and have specific things that a face to face meeting, or maybe a phone call, can address.

    Two things for me: The sound of the voice and the overall smell of a potential cuddle partner are both VERY important.

    Personally, it’s also useful to get a general sense of the other person, including their reactions to me.

  • [Deleted User]beardedblackman (deleted user)

    @neesha I am with you on the whole meet me thing before a cuddle session. To me, it's either you trust a person or you don't. This is a cuddle sight, and not a dating website. I think some people have to high of expectations on here. I don't need to be physically attracted to somebody, in order to cuddle and comfort them. I'm all about helping others, I wouldn't turn down a person (woman) because they weren't my "type" that I would date. That's just my opinion though.

  • mikecuddlesmikecuddles

    @neesha Great post. My two cuddle partners have been professional cuddlers, and I had a phone chat with each of them before we first met. Like others have said, this was allowed me to feel comfortable with them and vice versa. I think a phone conversation is a good option to consider before the first meet with a new potential buddy.

    I don't think you should need to have meet for a pre-cuddle chat. As others have mentioned, you can establish trust and cuddle expectations over the phone. This is my opinion, and each person should make arrangements they feel comfortable with. Members should always respect another members time and their good nature that they are there for us.

    As for falling asleep, one of the benefits of cuddling is that it releases stress and helps to reduce our heart-rate and can relax us, especially after a long day. Whilst I personally enjoy an engaging conversation when cuddling, I know that I also enjoy those moments of quiet and stillness and completely tuning into the cuddle. So whilst falling asleep might not be ideal (unless pre-agreed), I can totally see how it can happen.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    I recently had a pro who slept for probably 70% of the session. I had to wake her to change positions. She was so dead to the world that I could push her off me and even move her arm and let it drop and it would not wake her.

    Two things about this—first, it is rude and unprofessional. If I am present then you should be as well if I am paying you. It is called customer service and pride in your craft. Second, I do not think this lady understands how dangerous this is for her. If I were a creeper I could take advantage of the situation—food for thought when cuddling with a stranger.

    But, like one poster said above, if you agreed upon sleeping beforehand then it is ok. I just do not believe in paying someone to take a nap. Funny thing is, I have never had a non-pro fall asleep like that.

  • LovelightLovelight

    @beardedblackman "To me, it's either you trust a person or you don't."

    While some use the meet beforehand to determine attractiveness and what not. Some of us like myself use it to get an idea of my comfort/trust with them. Even the former, I'd say it's their right and freedom if they choose to screen people out like that. Although, they could then be limiting their options.

    If most of us women just rushed with every guy that expressed interest, and rolled up to his house/or him to ours. Let's just say we'd have trouble left and right. This is the female experience. By meeting or at least having a phone conversation once or enough times to feel comfortable most of us women are looking for red flags, and an overall comfort. There are men that will be all appropriate here, then when they meet us. Or we switch platforms, they go off track. By for example, meeting for a drink first we will get better idea of that person, and their more or less true intentions. Do they respect any boundaries we may have discussed beforehand, or on the spot. Are they trying to turn the conversation in inappropriate directions, etc. Do they give us time to speak or over talk us. All these things help to give women/ the comfort, and idea they need to have about a man/.

    However, someone could potentially act/seem all good, and be not so once they are in our home. Or us in theirs. Though, the pre-meeting/ does help many of us screen out the ones that act up in that time. Therefore, helping us to hopefully have a better experience.

Sign In or Register to comment.