"Hello, James," I said. The young man was staring intently at a tree, his mouth agape. I waited an uncomfortable amount of time before addressing him again: "James?" He convulsed, shaking his thin dreadlocks about, and then his lips began to move. I drew closer in an attempt to hear him better.
"Moonflower."
"What?"
"My real name is Moonflower."
James, or Moonflower, had promised me a unique cuddling experience. I was incredulous before agreeing to meet him at a nearby park—now, I was even more so. "That's cool," I said, focusing on anything but Moonflower. The park was nearly empty; with night quickly approaching, a certain calm permeated throughout the place. A chill breeze made me shudder.
"You can feel her, too. Mother Earth." Moonflower raised both of his arms, slowly, and turned to face me. "Gaia approves of our meeting here, Derek." He staggered forward on crane-like legs. Although the distance between us wasn't great, his glacial pace made the advance an awkward one. I took three quick steps towards Moonflower, and we hugged. He reeked of body odor.
"You're eager to start our binding," Moonflower said as we broke apart. "I am the tree: tall and majestic and firm, and yet my canopy sways in the wind. You, Derek, are the earth: strong, reserved, and full of nutrients. I will bury my roots in you, and we will coexist in harmony."
"So, we're going to cuddle now?"
"Yes, brother. But first, take these." Moonflower withdrew some crystals from his pocket. He handed them to me delicately, as if they would disintegrate at any moment. "How do they feel in your palm?"
"Smooth," I said. "Hard, and a bit pointy."
"Good," Moonflower said. He sank to his hands and knees, and howled. The sound carried throughout the park. I flinched.
"That was...something. Why did you do that?"
"My spirit is that of a wolf. It yearns to be wild and free in a world that is static and artificial. What animal is your spirit, Derek?"
I looked down at myself. "I'm not sure, Moonflower. I think my spirit animal ran away years ago, and was possibly hit by a spirit car. Then a family of spirit hicks pried the carcass from the spirit highway, and ate the thing back home in their spirit trailer."
"A shame. That happened to a friend of mine. I'd be willing to give you some of my energy, in the hopes that it will bring back your spirit beast." Moonflower rolled over onto his side. "Go ahead, Derek. Choose: big spoon or little spoon."
I opted for the former. Moonflower and I cuddled until it was dark out, and we could see the dim glint of stars through the cities' light pollution. "It's a shame we're not out in the wilderness," Moonflower said. "We'd be able to drink in the wonder of the night sky." We both went silent for a while.
"Hey," I said. "Do you think that any other creature looks up at the cosmos and wonders 'How can I make this all about me'?"
"What?" Moonflower blurted.
"Dolphins, maybe. Perhaps gorillas. You know, smarter creatures. Animals with some concept of self. I'm sure that with vanity comes the ability to see oneself in everything; one's environs, and the heavens. I assume that's how gods are made, and the feeling of smallness—and unity with other small things— gave rise to the concept of the soul."
"Give me back my crystals, Derek."
I did. "Namaste, James."
"Screw you."
We parted, then, without another word. James had been correct: he'd provided me with a unique cuddling experience.